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Sep 01, 2006 21:28

Thank you all for your input on my last post! I just wrote up a post for my blog, including my last post here but adding on a lot more, and I wanted to share it here as well.

Warning: What I'm about to say may be shocking to some. It definitely goes against the modern dating trend. It even goes against some of the thoughts a lot of courtship advocates speak on. It most certainly goes against feministic beliefs, and would probably give any feminist a heart attack. But it's what I believe, however small of a minority I may be in.

I've been thinking about this for a couple of months now, since I started reading Let Me Be a Woman, by Elisabeth Elliot. It also goes along with what's said in the messages I linked to earlier today(edit: these messages). A lot of people scoff at the idea of needing a spouse to "complete them". The line "You complete me" gets a lot of flack. A lot of Christians say we should be complete in Christ alone, just resting in Him. But while we should always be able to find contentment in Him, is that thinking flawed? Woman was made as a helper for man, to work alongside him and be his companion. We're made to fulfill different roles for a reason. Also, the two shall become one. So, in essence, aren't we specifically made to complete each other? Wasn't that what woman was made for, to complement man?

Often, the longing for a spouse is pushed aside: Women are told by the world, and some Christians, to fulfill their own desires and pursue their own careers, while many other Christians speak on how much better we can serve Christ single, and say we should find our wholeness in Him and let Him fill that longing for a spouse. The first is full of selfishness, and goes against God's design. The second also goes against God's design, denying the fact that He gave us a longing for a spouse and says that if a person was only seeking God enough and content enough in Him, that longing would be fulfilled. We do need to be careful not to be overtaken with discontentment, but I believe that desire for a spouse is God given and shouldn't be quenched. Now some are truly called to be single, but I believe those people are rare, and that most aren't called to that life.

Here's a quote from Let Me Be a Woman:

God might have given Adam another man to be his friend, to walk and talk and argue with if that was his pleasure. But Adam needed more than the companionship of the animals or the friendship of a man. He needed a helper, specially designed and prepared to fill that role. It was a woman God gave him, a woman, "meet", fit, suitable, entirely appropriate for him, made of his very bones and flesh.

Is it wrong to desire a spouse when God created marriage, created us to desire that? To say so would be like saying it's wrong to be hungry, when God created us to need food. That can be taken too far and turned into gluttony, which is indeed wrong, and such can be the case with lust when the desire is taken too far.

If we were created differently and to complement one another, then is there not something missing until one finds a spouse? If Adam wasn't lacking in something, what purpose did Eve serve?

I believe too many women today have the mindset that being a wife and mother is, at best, second to their life and career. They're taught that they need to pursue a career and "find themselves" before they can be happy in a marriage. That's true both in the world and in the church. The age for marriage has been pushed back greatly, largely because women are told they need to go to college and they need to pursue their own interests and careers first, so they think they're not ready for marriage until much later. And if you desire marriage too much, you just need to become closer to the Lord, because you must not be content enough or walking closely enough with Him if you're struggling. But I believe that being a wife and mother is what God has called most women to do, and that He has created us with that desire. He has given us that longing because that's what He has called us to be. It would truly be a blessing to be a wife and mother, and I think it's sad how that perspective has been so skewed.

I hope my thoughts have made some sense. This has been brewing for a couple of months now, and after listening to three of those audio messages today, I wanted to share all this. I'd love to hear input!

love, women, relationships, life

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