meat empress delicious part 2
IGTB3
Service of elegance
Flip or Deck
I have a bunch of commissioned art, 2 zines i'm stalled on finishing, art gigs i' procrastinating on, CUZ my art does not want me to make her do anything. My artistic abilities are allowed to do what ever they want, I consider termite and vine, sicknessandfilth, tspx, low maintenance, porn, and couch surfing all identical art works by me that are meant to explore, identity, alienation, the self and the limits of the mind as it leads to a persons experience of theology, and sex. thats is why i dress like a punk trying to dress like a hipster and getting it not quite right. y'know cuz i want to move up a few social classes so i can surf nicer and nicer couches. That is why i used to do all that "punks are hipsters" activism!!! hipsters are human garbage who I could kill without remorse for their jeans. but those are west coast hipsters. EAST coast hipsters are totally punk rock and its adorable. as i alwasy say,"hipsters are punks with money."
the reason punks hate hipsters is cuz the hipsters get money by being bullshit like DJs or Clothing designers, or hair dressers. they get paid really well for those jobs and those jobs don't even escape the hippster community of your town and the little circle of hipster towns they travel around. SO HIPSTERS HAVE FIGURED OUT HOT TO MAKE MONEY OUT OF NUTHING! you just get together with your friends and make a pretend world where the economy is entirely the production and services of coffee,records,cool hair,cool clothes.
so hipsters just sell quirky severe elegance and design curiosity collectors items back and forth and i think hipsters have $80 hair cuts and $80 jackets and $80 sunglasses and $80 record. That is my secret formula for looking like a hipster. $80 shoes $80 t shirt $80 bullet belt.
This is way too mathmatical to be a coincidence and i would like to name this Scientific principle "two flip" as in a the hipster word for base or sux, "flip" mixed with "two bits"
looking up the hipster word flip right now i have
FLIP
.1 racial slur on Filipinos.
.2 to move product from producer to consumer and reaping profit
.3 a sexually loose and wild woman
.4 LSD and MDMA, also called candy flipping (mdma makes sex on acid more fun snd less insane)
.5 a synonym of fuck for use in polite company
.6 hippsters who have hair combed over one eye hair
Basic Boolean Logic says that if a=b and b=c then c=a. I just need to put it on record that it is a fact, my source is the urbandictionary, a live constantly updated forum for every day people to have a voice in deciding what words mean in the dictionary. this is an internet wide survey of laguage, slang, and words popularity and exact definition.
translators have told me that its gotten double hard to be a translater in the last 10 years. interrnets and modern entertainment have really teamed up to evolve us to th next sphere above language. people in the modern western world allready talk in slang, chopped words, and very complexly coded signifiers and idioms. I dont know about you but I work out my language sectors so I'll be ready when the assention comes. I've gotten yelled at a bunch of times for answering questions by telling a story that illustrates my asnwer. I could call it polly meta holistic hyper language but that name sucks. The official hipster bible says that how hipster magic works is that they only like cool things and un cool thinge are either ignored or in some cases the un cool thing is deemed so un cool that hipsters put it on a pedastle and start collecting then proudly. That is how the trucker hat became the powerfull indispensible wardrobe piece it is today.
The facts remain: - Translating an american action comedy movie in to french is getting so that half the sub text of the movie will not get across unless you let the sub titles fill every frame of the picture. there is another fact remaining which is that a boy, who is named after a psychedelic sex drug cocktail, wearing an emo hair cut is a "fuck"m rumoured to be a loose womman and its all crap anyways.
That is the etymology of hippster language. Hipsters have unlocked the secret of how to cease being real !!
anyways californyeh hipsters are great cuz they make $2200 a month and then blow all of it on a huge 'normous cost of living expense and wind up coming through the month with 2 new records and two new shirts and the got their dj computer tuned up. Flip bits are an acid burn satire of the modern amerikan economy and it's so fun.
Hippsters are in outer space all the time. Punks never grow up and kick the legs out from under every sentient thing they come across.
punks and hipster must join forces now for soon we will be poised to seize control of whole sectors of this country's operations. Its happened already ! punks control shipping and freight, every cities invisible gutter population has its own influence on those cities, punks get in to rough spots and thrive and they are gaining serious rural land claims, in the cities, there are 2 dozen homesteaders non profits and punk lawyers take on all kinds of fun legal negotiations. what happens in civil court trickles up.law really does slowly evolve to fit the will of the people. but its really slow and you have to play court.
hipsters, where punks are brute hipsters are flash. I lost a fight with a hipster this spring when i jumped him for his bike and he was so fast i had to run away from him. hipsters must do healthy stuff or sumthing cuz they skinny and fit and go on gym dates.I wanna go pick up guys at the gym !! That's why I got baby phat pants and a diesel t-shirt and air walks. Anybuddy got a spare VOIP phone I can have for my hipster outfit ?? one that fits mps and a tetris app.
In Service of Elegance
Trevor and Syett (heavies for the Cult of Elegance){aka delight of elegance, or in service of elegance, as in "we just came here from service of elegance. we are the drug and mental illness ravaged gutter goths plucked out of a drop in center to be the effectively unnervingly sick and cruel public relations department of service to elegance. I am gonna stick this fucking thing in you very slowly unless you pledge right now to do the bidding of service to elegance.
they have almost never broken a bone or left someone unable to walk. the magic formula for this is being terribly fucking high all the time, perfect apathy, personalities that are 50% perfectly vapid attempting to burry the other %50 of chills frightening horror damaged from seeing too much, and clever creative passionate-and-dissociative brains groomed on horror movie parties with their goth friends. the latter also gives them a cherished encyclopoeadic knowledge of torture. so far the people in movies have been able to handle way more agony. real people start freaking out and babbling in tongues and telling weird lies about what they can do to the heavies.
Trevor is 6 foot 135 pounds with no eyebrows and a neck beard.
Syett is 5 foot minus one inch and the entire left side of her body is under developed, so she works out just her right arm. she also plays 1 and a half handed piano good.
Syett got her start at service of elegance as their pianist. free room and board for a pianist, and Syett had banged pianos for the first 20 years of her life. Fire engin red old wood upright with 22 missing keys. Exactly one fourth of the piano. Syett only learned to play piano cuz it was a Player piano and it played "sweet georgia brown" and "glow worm" and "saturday night fish fry" and "way down south in Morteville" and it missed keys all the time so Syett tried to fix it.
her findings in the piano were as follows:
1. Most of the keys have a little broken piece of leather that could be fixed, janky but functional, with glue and string and electrical tape.
2. Then you have to bang on the piano alot so all the string and tape can seat in. when you fix things with string or tape you need to consider the pliancy of your repair medium and its behavior under load, twist, and shear forces
3. the player piano thing is pneumatic and you can warble the piano if you have two people and one works the foot bellows. you also need two people if your going to attempt to play a song with the 88 air valves and the spool taken out of the player. it usually sounds like you where trying to play the piano with your but.
Trevor and Syetts greatest invention was the tightenable knife on a c clamp. You can hold a pointy thing to a person and push it 4 ounces of pressure more every turn. You can have something pointing in to someone and not take it off them to make rice crispy squares right in the middle of sweating some guy. They did that once improv and now they've added it to their technique. It's projecting that kind of approach life in general that makes Trevor and Syett the entire reason that service of elegance is legendarily feared.
The best one ever was when did the pee make out. they both claim to be single and hunting but they have been fucking (but professhonally as partners) for a few years. so it was no thing to get high and then set up two step ladders over a guy in a chair and just perch atop the ladders and guzzle whiskey ice coffee while chain smoking bugler and making out and snacking on asparagus and onions and garlic and pissing all over the guy.
Trevor had a boner at one point and wizzed all over Syett's lap and then Syett did a fake kick boxing move and managed to shoot Trev in the head with piss. Syett took a shit on the chair guy and the heavies went to the other side of the room and fucked while spraying each other with the garage hose. They fucked with Trevor lieing on a pile of cardboard and Syett rode him. Then they finished off by Trev fucking Syett bent over a stack of tires. it was totally hot and the chair guy could half see them and that made it more hilarious. The heavies leaned up naked on the cleanest wall they could find and admired the mess they'd made of this place and burned a spliff each.
Trevor , dripping and naked, went up to the guy and told him not to be runnin' eyes over his girlfriend and held the guys mouth open with one hand and in his other he had his dick and his favorite awl, pointing straight ahead like a dick bayonet.
After the guy drank his piss Trevor laughs "actually just kidding ! Shes not really my girlfriend , I've never actually even met her yet, Whats your name?"
Trevor turns his head sideways to Syett. Their eyes just lock right there. they just stare in to the blacks of each others eyes, sickly affected faces, i cant pin point the body language they consciously shared there. it was looking in to each others eyes and being pleased and satisfied with recognition, but with a wedding cake of alienatedness dropped on top.
What is in those eyes heavy? I don't know what you do the other %90 of the week. You read witch sci- fi books on the couch. lie on your bed listening to a tape player. you live on tomato juice and sing in bed and in the bathroom. you live on sugar and lean against a wall for 2 hours watching people who have some place to go try to get there. you live on cigarettes and service of elegance pays your rent, and lets you grocery shop at their bar. What the hell are we doing. What the hell am I doing? Really ! What the hell are we doing?
"candy flipper" says Syett.
"john q." says Trevor, "I like Candy, cuz I got a sweet tooth and you sure are one sweet fuck"
It's work, have to act professhonal. Syett is suppressing a giggle at Trevor's line of talk. They lock eyes again.
The Grey-Blue ones say "you and me on the same page here ?"
Hazle-Purple say "I want this, I been wantin this...'>
GB sez- "I'll start then you come in"
HP sez- "lets do this"
John goes to the guy and Candy kneels naked next to a drywall caked tool bag.
Trevor shoves the garden hose in the guys mouth and presses the squirtter, its on full blast
"you are gonna have to listen to me while I have the hose running in your mouth cuz I'm going to do this for exactly 5 minutes. breath through you're nose or sumthing. When I take the hose out of your mouth I don't want to hear anything from you at all. the lady with no shirt is gonna ask you 2 simple yes or no questions and then we got some paper work and we're done. Candy ?"
Candy is still digging in the tool bag. It really is a tool bag. the papers are all in a pile with Syetts pants and 3 vice grips and a cellphone as a paper weight. she locks eyes with Trev once more and shoots a sly "o damn, you fucker" at him with a tired smirk.
Then her face turns Wikked.
"Oh shit I DID bring it !!! I love this thing !!"
She holds it up over her head and its shiny stainless and clean (cuz she sits arround cleaning it). right now its jaws are flopping loose and its still set to about half tension from last week. Syett is trying to pick up the papers and her clothes and twist the puller down at the same time.
She says she got it from an elevator control room. he delights in knowng such a funy tidbit of knowledge.
I never seen no part of an elevator that that thing is the same shAPe as. might not even be a real elevator tool. hell maybe not even an elevator tool. maybe its a tool for tiny cement rooms on the roof, or air conditioners or drain pipes or radio masts.
That's how i got this job. I don't know and i don't care. sing it when you say it and your someone i can run with and you can watch the side for prey and my back for predators. We can sleep close together whenever its cold.
Trevor stops watching nekkid Syett unwind her elevator tool untill the jaws are spaced close enuff to fit in a human mouth. His eyes wander back to the guy with the hose in his mouth.
"I wonder how much of that he's swallowing? " , Trev muses. "I want more whisky ice coffee."
Trev grabs his dick and pisses all over the chair one last time and then goes to root through Syetts tool bag, roll a small joint and cut 2 lines for each of them for the last act, and mix a coffee. Its restauraunt supply powdered cappucino mix and %35 whipped cream dumped in to Nhym Whisky. just a bunch of stuff he grabbed out of the kitchen in service to elegance.
"you wanna go to the devil but you dont like the flames ?
Blood on satans claw is my middle name!"
-the late mister Luxury, RIPieces you gorgeous beast.
Service of elegance
Flip or Deck
I have a bunch of commissioned art, 2 zines i'm stalled on finishing, art gigs i' procrastinating on, CUZ my art does not want me to make her do anything. My artistic abilities are allowed to do what ever they want, I consider termite and vine, sicknessandfilth, tspx, low maintenance, porn, and couch surfing all identical art works by me that are meant to explore, identity, alienation, the self and the limits of the mind as it leads to a persons experience of theology, and sex. thats is why i dress like a punk trying to dress like a hipster and getting it not quite right. y'know cuz i want to move up a few social classes so i can surf nicer and nicer couches. That is why i used to do all that "punks are hipsters" activism!!! hipsters are human garbage who I could kill without remorse for their jeans. but those are west coast hipsters. EAST coast hipsters are totally punk rock and its adorable. as i alwasy say,"hipsters are punks with money."
the reason punks hate hipsters is cuz the hipsters get money by being bullshit like DJs or Clothing designers, or hair dressers. they get paid really well for those jobs and those jobs don't even escape the hippster community of your town and the little circle of hipster towns they travel around. SO HIPSTERS HAVE FIGURED OUT HOT TO MAKE MONEY OUT OF NUTHING! you just get together with your friends and make a pretend world where the economy is entirely the production and services of coffee,records,cool hair,cool clothes.
so hipsters just sell quirky severe elegance and design curiosity collectors items back and forth and i think hipsters have $80 hair cuts and $80 jackets and $80 sunglasses and $80 record. That is my secret formula for looking like a hipster. $80 shoes $80 t shirt $80 bullet belt.
This is way too mathmatical to be a coincidence and i would like to name this Scientific principle "two flip" as in a the hipster word for base or sux, "flip" mixed with "two bits"
looking up the hipster word flip right now i have
FLIP
.1 racial slur on Filipinos.
.2 to move product from producer to consumer and reaping profit
.3 a sexually loose and wild woman
.4 LSD and MDMA, also called candy flipping (mdma makes sex on acid more fun snd less insane)
.5 a synonym of fuck for use in polite company
.6 hippsters who have hair combed over one eye hair
Basic Boolean Logic says that if a=b and b=c then c=a. I just need to put it on record that it is a fact, my source is the urbandictionary, a live constantly updated forum for every day people to have a voice in deciding what words mean in the dictionary. this is an internet wide survey of laguage, slang, and words popularity and exact definition.
translators have told me that its gotten double hard to be a translater in the last 10 years. interrnets and modern entertainment have really teamed up to evolve us to th next sphere above language. people in the modern western world allready talk in slang, chopped words, and very complexly coded signifiers and idioms. I dont know about you but I work out my language sectors so I'll be ready when the assention comes. I've gotten yelled at a bunch of times for answering questions by telling a story that illustrates my asnwer. I could call it polly meta holistic hyper language but that name sucks. The official hipster bible says that how hipster magic works is that they only like cool things and un cool thinge are either ignored or in some cases the un cool thing is deemed so un cool that hipsters put it on a pedastle and start collecting then proudly. That is how the trucker hat became the powerfull indispensible wardrobe piece it is today.
The facts remain: - Translating an american action comedy movie in to french is getting so that half the sub text of the movie will not get across unless you let the sub titles fill every frame of the picture. there is another fact remaining which is that a boy, who is named after a psychedelic sex drug cocktail, wearing an emo hair cut is a "fuck"m rumoured to be a loose womman and its all crap anyways.
That is the etymology of hippster language. Hipsters have unlocked the secret of how to cease being real !!
anyways californyeh hipsters are great cuz they make $2200 a month and then blow all of it on a huge 'normous cost of living expense and wind up coming through the month with 2 new records and two new shirts and the got their dj computer tuned up. Flip bits are an acid burn satire of the modern amerikan economy and it's so fun.
Hippsters are in outer space all the time. Punks never grow up and kick the legs out from under every sentient thing they come across.
punks and hipster must join forces now for soon we will be poised to seize control of whole sectors of this country's operations. Its happened already ! punks control shipping and freight, every cities invisible gutter population has its own influence on those cities, punks get in to rough spots and thrive and they are gaining serious rural land claims, in the cities, there are 2 dozen homesteaders non profits and punk lawyers take on all kinds of fun legal negotiations. what happens in civil court trickles up.law really does slowly evolve to fit the will of the people. but its really slow and you have to play court.
hipsters, where punks are brute hipsters are flash. I lost a fight with a hipster this spring when i jumped him for his bike and he was so fast i had to run away from him. hipsters must do healthy stuff or sumthing cuz they skinny and fit and go on gym dates.I wanna go pick up guys at the gym !! That's why I got baby phat pants and a diesel t-shirt and air walks. Anybuddy got a spare VOIP phone I can have for my hipster outfit ?? one that fits mps and a tetris app.
In Service of Elegance
Trevor and Syett (heavies for the Cult of Elegance){aka delight of elegance, or in service of elegance, as in "we just came here from service of elegance. we are the drug and mental illness ravaged gutter goths plucked out of a drop in center to be the effectively unnervingly sick and cruel public relations department of service to elegance. I am gonna stick this fucking thing in you very slowly unless you pledge right now to do the bidding of service to elegance.
they have almost never broken a bone or left someone unable to walk. the magic formula for this is being terribly fucking high all the time, perfect apathy, personalities that are 50% perfectly vapid attempting to burry the other %50 of chills frightening horror damaged from seeing too much, and clever creative passionate-and-dissociative brains groomed on horror movie parties with their goth friends. the latter also gives them a cherished encyclopoeadic knowledge of torture. so far the people in movies have been able to handle way more agony. real people start freaking out and babbling in tongues and telling weird lies about what they can do to the heavies.
Trevor is 6 foot 135 pounds with no eyebrows and a neck beard.
Syett is 5 foot minus one inch and the entire left side of her body is under developed, so she works out just her right arm. she also plays 1 and a half handed piano good.
Syett got her start at service of elegance as their pianist. free room and board for a pianist, and Syett had banged pianos for the first 20 years of her life. Fire engin red old wood upright with 22 missing keys. Exactly one fourth of the piano. Syett only learned to play piano cuz it was a Player piano and it played "sweet georgia brown" and "glow worm" and "saturday night fish fry" and "way down south in Morteville" and it missed keys all the time so Syett tried to fix it.
her findings in the piano were as follows:
1. Most of the keys have a little broken piece of leather that could be fixed, janky but functional, with glue and string and electrical tape.
2. Then you have to bang on the piano alot so all the string and tape can seat in. when you fix things with string or tape you need to consider the pliancy of your repair medium and its behavior under load, twist, and shear forces
3. the player piano thing is pneumatic and you can warble the piano if you have two people and one works the foot bellows. you also need two people if your going to attempt to play a song with the 88 air valves and the spool taken out of the player. it usually sounds like you where trying to play the piano with your but.
Trevor and Syetts greatest invention was the tightenable knife on a c clamp. You can hold a pointy thing to a person and push it 4 ounces of pressure more every turn. You can have something pointing in to someone and not take it off them to make rice crispy squares right in the middle of sweating some guy. They did that once improv and now they've added it to their technique. It's projecting that kind of approach life in general that makes Trevor and Syett the entire reason that service of elegance is legendarily feared.
The best one ever was when did the pee make out. they both claim to be single and hunting but they have been fucking (but professhonally as partners) for a few years. so it was no thing to get high and then set up two step ladders over a guy in a chair and just perch atop the ladders and guzzle whiskey ice coffee while chain smoking bugler and making out and snacking on asparagus and onions and garlic and pissing all over the guy.
Trevor had a boner at one point and wizzed all over Syett's lap and then Syett did a fake kick boxing move and managed to shoot Trev in the head with piss. Syett took a shit on the chair guy and the heavies went to the other side of the room and fucked while spraying each other with the garage hose. They fucked with Trevor lieing on a pile of cardboard and Syett rode him. Then they finished off by Trev fucking Syett bent over a stack of tires. it was totally hot and the chair guy could half see them and that made it more hilarious. The heavies leaned up naked on the cleanest wall they could find and admired the mess they'd made of this place and burned a spliff each.
Trevor , dripping and naked, went up to the guy and told him not to be runnin' eyes over his girlfriend and held the guys mouth open with one hand and in his other he had his dick and his favorite awl, pointing straight ahead like a dick bayonet.
After the guy drank his piss Trevor laughs "actually just kidding ! Shes not really my girlfriend , I've never actually even met her yet, Whats your name?"
Trevor turns his head sideways to Syett. Their eyes just lock right there. they just stare in to the blacks of each others eyes, sickly affected faces, i cant pin point the body language they consciously shared there. it was looking in to each others eyes and being pleased and satisfied with recognition, but with a wedding cake of alienatedness dropped on top.
What is in those eyes heavy? I don't know what you do the other %90 of the week. You read witch sci- fi books on the couch. lie on your bed listening to a tape player. you live on tomato juice and sing in bed and in the bathroom. you live on sugar and lean against a wall for 2 hours watching people who have some place to go try to get there. you live on cigarettes and service of elegance pays your rent, and lets you grocery shop at their bar. What the hell are we doing. What the hell am I doing? Really ! What the hell are we doing?
"candy flipper" says Syett.
"john q." says Trevor, "I like Candy, cuz I got a sweet tooth and you sure are one sweet fuck"
It's work, have to act professhonal. Syett is suppressing a giggle at Trevor's line of talk. They lock eyes again.
The Grey-Blue ones say "you and me on the same page here ?"
Hazle-Purple say "I want this, I been wantin this...'>
GB sez- "I'll start then you come in"
HP sez- "lets do this"
John goes to the guy and Candy kneels naked next to a drywall caked tool bag.
Trevor shoves the garden hose in the guys mouth and presses the squirtter, its on full blast
"you are gonna have to listen to me while I have the hose running in your mouth cuz I'm going to do this for exactly 5 minutes. breath through you're nose or sumthing. When I take the hose out of your mouth I don't want to hear anything from you at all. the lady with no shirt is gonna ask you 2 simple yes or no questions and then we got some paper work and we're done. Candy ?"
Candy is still digging in the tool bag. It really is a tool bag. the papers are all in a pile with Syetts pants and 3 vice grips and a cellphone as a paper weight. she locks eyes with Trev once more and shoots a sly "o damn, you fucker" at him with a tired smirk.
Then her face turns Wikked.
"Oh shit I DID bring it !!! I love this thing !!"
She holds it up over her head and its shiny stainless and clean (cuz she sits arround cleaning it). right now its jaws are flopping loose and its still set to about half tension from last week. Syett is trying to pick up the papers and her clothes and twist the puller down at the same time.
She says she got it from an elevator control room. he delights in knowng such a funy tidbit of knowledge.
I never seen no part of an elevator that that thing is the same shAPe as. might not even be a real elevator tool. hell maybe not even an elevator tool. maybe its a tool for tiny cement rooms on the roof, or air conditioners or drain pipes or radio masts.
That's how i got this job. I don't know and i don't care. sing it when you say it and your someone i can run with and you can watch the side for prey and my back for predators. We can sleep close together whenever its cold.
Trevor stops watching nekkid Syett unwind her elevator tool untill the jaws are spaced close enuff to fit in a human mouth. His eyes wander back to the guy with the hose in his mouth.
"I wonder how much of that he's swallowing? " , Trev muses. "I want more whisky ice coffee."
Trev grabs his dick and pisses all over the chair one last time and then goes to root through Syetts tool bag, roll a small joint and cut 2 lines for each of them for the last act, and mix a coffee. Its restauraunt supply powdered cappucino mix and %35 whipped cream dumped in to Nhym Whisky. just a bunch of stuff he grabbed out of the kitchen in service to elegance.
"you wanna go to the devil but you dont like the flames ?
Blood on satans claw is my middle name!"
-the late mister Luxury, RIPieces you gorgeous beast.