torture ideas
I JUST INVENTED THE MOST HORRIBLE TORTURE EVER.
YOU KNOW ME.
I've lived in parking lots and radioactive abandoned navy bases.
i been hit by cars and punched in the face and throat and beaten with pipes bricks and typwriters.
been kick arround a cement floor in a garage.
i been box cuttered across the palm of my hand and had a nail through my foot.
when i was younger I used to shove needles and sometimes nails through myself (kinna like cutting but diff'rnt)
i broken outta restraints in the hospital half a dozen times.
done my share of amature black market surgerical proceedures.
sewn up a 1 inch gash on my leg myself with a regular sewing needle and thread.
walked 2 miles though downtown montreal in just a black teddy and platform spike heels.
been chased by 6 year old kids throwing rocks at me.
come too from being passed out drunk to see my lover fucking someone else in front of me so many times that I don't car no more.
ALL OF THAT IS FOR WIMPS.
angry fire ant in the ear.
having a freaked out fire ant in your ear is the new thing that I'm most affraid of.
I'd rather pick a fight with a 200lb bone head tweaker in just my underwear and no shoes than ever have a fire ant in my ear again.
got fire ants on me dumpstering a fancy deli, thought i was ok, we get to JQ's house and i stick a smokerette behind my ear while sorting fancy meat in to piles and suddenly i find out we brought some fire ants back with us.
little guy was just running circles in there and bighting the fuck outta me. deep inside my ear. i heard the little fucker running arround on my damned ear drum.
after 2 minutes i was managing to stop screaming and coming to terms with that attempts to q tip him out wasn't working.
I was trying to kill a 32nd of an inch long biting stinging beast with a qtip.
Good thing my screaming woke up JQ cuz he found an enema bottle in his closter after 5 more minutes of searching. the monster drowned after only 1 more minute of sloshing arround and biting my ear insides.
if the Enema bottle hadnt appeared then I was gonna try shoving a pencil in to my ear drum hard.
I was freaking out so bad I almost was ready to shove a lit smokerette in there.
the moral of this storey is
1. I'M LEAVING TOWN IN 6 DAYS BUT NOW I'M STUCK AT JQS CUZ i LEFT MY BIKE PUMP IN BUNNY'S CAR AND iTS 3 AM AND I JUST WANNA SIT HERE CLUTCHING MY KNEES AND ROCKING BACK AND FORTH WHILE MY CHEWED UP EAR BUZZES WITH RELATIVELY TO EARLIER MILD FIRE ANT BITE STING.
2. I REALLY WANNA KIDNAP AN ENEMY AND DO THIS TO THEM. once its in there you cant do shit. pouring a coffee cup of coffee in your ear dont work. without a syringe or somthing your victim would be forced to lie on the floor shoving sticks in their ears.
3. when dumpstering, wear ear plugs.
YOU KNOW ME.
I've lived in parking lots and radioactive abandoned navy bases.
i been hit by cars and punched in the face and throat and beaten with pipes bricks and typwriters.
been kick arround a cement floor in a garage.
i been box cuttered across the palm of my hand and had a nail through my foot.
when i was younger I used to shove needles and sometimes nails through myself (kinna like cutting but diff'rnt)
i broken outta restraints in the hospital half a dozen times.
done my share of amature black market surgerical proceedures.
sewn up a 1 inch gash on my leg myself with a regular sewing needle and thread.
walked 2 miles though downtown montreal in just a black teddy and platform spike heels.
been chased by 6 year old kids throwing rocks at me.
come too from being passed out drunk to see my lover fucking someone else in front of me so many times that I don't car no more.
ALL OF THAT IS FOR WIMPS.
angry fire ant in the ear.
having a freaked out fire ant in your ear is the new thing that I'm most affraid of.
I'd rather pick a fight with a 200lb bone head tweaker in just my underwear and no shoes than ever have a fire ant in my ear again.
got fire ants on me dumpstering a fancy deli, thought i was ok, we get to JQ's house and i stick a smokerette behind my ear while sorting fancy meat in to piles and suddenly i find out we brought some fire ants back with us.
little guy was just running circles in there and bighting the fuck outta me. deep inside my ear. i heard the little fucker running arround on my damned ear drum.
after 2 minutes i was managing to stop screaming and coming to terms with that attempts to q tip him out wasn't working.
I was trying to kill a 32nd of an inch long biting stinging beast with a qtip.
Good thing my screaming woke up JQ cuz he found an enema bottle in his closter after 5 more minutes of searching. the monster drowned after only 1 more minute of sloshing arround and biting my ear insides.
if the Enema bottle hadnt appeared then I was gonna try shoving a pencil in to my ear drum hard.
I was freaking out so bad I almost was ready to shove a lit smokerette in there.
the moral of this storey is
1. I'M LEAVING TOWN IN 6 DAYS BUT NOW I'M STUCK AT JQS CUZ i LEFT MY BIKE PUMP IN BUNNY'S CAR AND iTS 3 AM AND I JUST WANNA SIT HERE CLUTCHING MY KNEES AND ROCKING BACK AND FORTH WHILE MY CHEWED UP EAR BUZZES WITH RELATIVELY TO EARLIER MILD FIRE ANT BITE STING.
2. I REALLY WANNA KIDNAP AN ENEMY AND DO THIS TO THEM. once its in there you cant do shit. pouring a coffee cup of coffee in your ear dont work. without a syringe or somthing your victim would be forced to lie on the floor shoving sticks in their ears.
3. when dumpstering, wear ear plugs.