(no subject)
Good grief... I was going to start posting more and then look what happens---weeks pass and I've neglected to post at all.
It isn't because I'm living some exciting, incredible life ... I'm just working! I finished the book on the brain, and that was boring. Oh man, so boring. And life has been more hectic since my youngest brother had his hand injury---for such a long time he was unable to use it at all. He can use it normally now, except for lifting very heavy objects.
So...nothing too exciting to report, except that life is so ironic and strange.
It's been very tough getting over my middle brother's death last October. My youngest brother and I have had the hardest time, since we were closest to him. It's left a real void in our lives ... but I suppose that's what death does.
Anyway, we also have an older brother, R, who has been married for 28 years. During that time, his wife disliked his side of the family and insisted on hardly ever visiting us. Before last October, when he came for our middle brother's funeral, we hadn't seen him the spring of 2013. We always wondered why R was so alienated from the rest of the family but accepted it for what it was. He only ever saw our mother once a year, up until the time she died. He and my youngest brother were always very close while growing up and before he got married in his thirties---and I was close to him, too. So to have him be so very distant hurt.
We found out three weeks ago that R and his wife are divorcing. I knew it was coming---she didn't even come down for our brother's funeral. And at at my mom's service in 2012, she acted really weird. I could not stand her, and even though I know it's upsetting my oldest brother, I personally think he's better off. They had a small farm a few years ago and as a hobby raised cattle and vegetables and such, and she basically made him sell it all off.
So now R is living in his own apartment and on his own. He just retired from his government job in January. He and his wife have three kids, and he's close to them, but they're all in their twenties now---one is married---and they're living their own lives. Anyway, it was really odd because Sunday a week ago, he called up out of the blue and wanted to come visit us and and spend the night. He was very upset about the divorce because all his hopes and dreams for retirement---he retired this year---are now gone, and he has to start fresh. I was overwhelming to him and he was feeling lonely.
So of course we said to come on down and he came and we had a really nice time. We talked to him about his life and his goals and he shared more with us than he has in twenty-eight years. We went to a nearby Mexican restaurant for supper and he spent the night and left early the next morning. We made some future plans for next month and talked about maybe taking a trip together next year, etc. And he was in much, much better spirits on leaving---he even insisted on giving us some money to make up for all the lack of support he'd given us while we were caring for our mom.
So... I guess there's some guilt there. And although we'll never forget his alienation, we've forgiven him for it and can look past it. So it's a bit ironic that we lost our middle brother, and yet our oldest brother has come back into our lives. He's not hurting for money and has a good retirement pension, so he's got the funds to complete his goals, which include buying land again and doing his own farming, etc.
I wish my middle brother were still alive to see it---it always upset him that R never seemed to care about seeing any of us. I think they went for five or six years without seeing each other---and they only lived about two hours apart.
That's the long story of it. Hopefully next time I'll have something more exciting to talk about!
In other news, I had eggs and bacon and homemade biscuits tonight for supper and felt so very hobbity. But do you think hobbits ever drank coffee---or just tea? I'm not much of a hot tea drinker, I hate to say.
It isn't because I'm living some exciting, incredible life ... I'm just working! I finished the book on the brain, and that was boring. Oh man, so boring. And life has been more hectic since my youngest brother had his hand injury---for such a long time he was unable to use it at all. He can use it normally now, except for lifting very heavy objects.
So...nothing too exciting to report, except that life is so ironic and strange.
It's been very tough getting over my middle brother's death last October. My youngest brother and I have had the hardest time, since we were closest to him. It's left a real void in our lives ... but I suppose that's what death does.
Anyway, we also have an older brother, R, who has been married for 28 years. During that time, his wife disliked his side of the family and insisted on hardly ever visiting us. Before last October, when he came for our middle brother's funeral, we hadn't seen him the spring of 2013. We always wondered why R was so alienated from the rest of the family but accepted it for what it was. He only ever saw our mother once a year, up until the time she died. He and my youngest brother were always very close while growing up and before he got married in his thirties---and I was close to him, too. So to have him be so very distant hurt.
We found out three weeks ago that R and his wife are divorcing. I knew it was coming---she didn't even come down for our brother's funeral. And at at my mom's service in 2012, she acted really weird. I could not stand her, and even though I know it's upsetting my oldest brother, I personally think he's better off. They had a small farm a few years ago and as a hobby raised cattle and vegetables and such, and she basically made him sell it all off.
So now R is living in his own apartment and on his own. He just retired from his government job in January. He and his wife have three kids, and he's close to them, but they're all in their twenties now---one is married---and they're living their own lives. Anyway, it was really odd because Sunday a week ago, he called up out of the blue and wanted to come visit us and and spend the night. He was very upset about the divorce because all his hopes and dreams for retirement---he retired this year---are now gone, and he has to start fresh. I was overwhelming to him and he was feeling lonely.
So of course we said to come on down and he came and we had a really nice time. We talked to him about his life and his goals and he shared more with us than he has in twenty-eight years. We went to a nearby Mexican restaurant for supper and he spent the night and left early the next morning. We made some future plans for next month and talked about maybe taking a trip together next year, etc. And he was in much, much better spirits on leaving---he even insisted on giving us some money to make up for all the lack of support he'd given us while we were caring for our mom.
So... I guess there's some guilt there. And although we'll never forget his alienation, we've forgiven him for it and can look past it. So it's a bit ironic that we lost our middle brother, and yet our oldest brother has come back into our lives. He's not hurting for money and has a good retirement pension, so he's got the funds to complete his goals, which include buying land again and doing his own farming, etc.
I wish my middle brother were still alive to see it---it always upset him that R never seemed to care about seeing any of us. I think they went for five or six years without seeing each other---and they only lived about two hours apart.
That's the long story of it. Hopefully next time I'll have something more exciting to talk about!
In other news, I had eggs and bacon and homemade biscuits tonight for supper and felt so very hobbity. But do you think hobbits ever drank coffee---or just tea? I'm not much of a hot tea drinker, I hate to say.