(no subject)
There is too much to say and not enough words to say it with.
It's all pointless. There's just pain on top of pain. I wish I could take everyone's troubles into me and make them go away. I can handle it. I want to make it easier. But I can't. I can't do anything. All hopes and dreams end, and some crashing down, like building blocks being knocked over by a toddler.
Where do you go when you have nothing; when all of your roads lead to nowhere? They say everything happens for a reason. Obviously, they never had anything bad happen to them. Because there is no reason for bad things. Maybe the war between Heaven and Hell is over and Hell won. I sometimes think that even hell would be better than this. This man-made limbo of desperation. Because in Hell there is no hope for a better tomorrow. Here there is, and with that hope comes the devastation of it not ever getting better. Just worse. Going farther and deeper down into heartache and desolation; into faithlessness and depression; going into nothingness. Like falling down a deep, dark well and finally hitting the bottom, only to start drowning. There's no salvation, no one to help you, but there is also no end to it, no death to make it all go away, to stop. You exist in this hung-up state with one purpose and one purpose only-to suffer. Occasionally you see a drifter in this ocean of tears, but he's too preoccupied with his own fate to even notice you. You float by, not even trying to call out, because you know he will not hear, or even worse-he will hear, but will choose to ignore your plea for help. Nothing is worse that having your pain ignored, your cries unanswered. But you are used to that, and in turn, start to ignore the pain of others. You become just like the rest of them. One of the scorned...and you accept it. You see nothing wrong with it. You are dead while living.
All life is is a series of mistakes. The question is whether or not you learn from them. Lessons of failure and pain. Heartache is the best damn teacher. There are no second chances, no forgiveness, no way back. I'm done with all of this. Sometimes the lessons are too painful, and the residual effects last too long. It's those things that make you give in to the demons and lose yourself forever
It's all pointless. There's just pain on top of pain. I wish I could take everyone's troubles into me and make them go away. I can handle it. I want to make it easier. But I can't. I can't do anything. All hopes and dreams end, and some crashing down, like building blocks being knocked over by a toddler.
Where do you go when you have nothing; when all of your roads lead to nowhere? They say everything happens for a reason. Obviously, they never had anything bad happen to them. Because there is no reason for bad things. Maybe the war between Heaven and Hell is over and Hell won. I sometimes think that even hell would be better than this. This man-made limbo of desperation. Because in Hell there is no hope for a better tomorrow. Here there is, and with that hope comes the devastation of it not ever getting better. Just worse. Going farther and deeper down into heartache and desolation; into faithlessness and depression; going into nothingness. Like falling down a deep, dark well and finally hitting the bottom, only to start drowning. There's no salvation, no one to help you, but there is also no end to it, no death to make it all go away, to stop. You exist in this hung-up state with one purpose and one purpose only-to suffer. Occasionally you see a drifter in this ocean of tears, but he's too preoccupied with his own fate to even notice you. You float by, not even trying to call out, because you know he will not hear, or even worse-he will hear, but will choose to ignore your plea for help. Nothing is worse that having your pain ignored, your cries unanswered. But you are used to that, and in turn, start to ignore the pain of others. You become just like the rest of them. One of the scorned...and you accept it. You see nothing wrong with it. You are dead while living.
All life is is a series of mistakes. The question is whether or not you learn from them. Lessons of failure and pain. Heartache is the best damn teacher. There are no second chances, no forgiveness, no way back. I'm done with all of this. Sometimes the lessons are too painful, and the residual effects last too long. It's those things that make you give in to the demons and lose yourself forever