My Thoughts on Final Destination 5 - 3D (SPOILERS AHOY!!!)
This morning, I saw Final Destination 5 in 3D...
WARNING - THIS IS FULL OF SPOILERS - DO NOT READ ON IF YOU DON'T WANT TO BE SPOILED
Since I went to the 9:25am show, there were only 2 other people in the theater. It was pretty awesome.
Let me preface by saying, I LOVE the Final Destination franchise...with a passion. I don't care how horrible they get, I love the whole idea of "death's design" and the first movie scared the living crap out of me (and still does, when I'm in the right mood). FD2 was almost as fun and with the advent of better CGI, the deaths were highly inventive. The franchise loped along through 3, and then pretty much almost died during 4, but 5 seemed to resurrect things...if only just a little bit.
After making the brief, yet highly enjoyable walk over to my local cineplex, I discovered that the movie was only playing in 3D. After a bit of hemming and hawing, I forked over $14 and hoped I wouldn't have to leave five minutes in because I was too dizzy or nauseous. You see, I haven't experienced this newfangled 3D nonsense, and haven't seen a 3D movie since the glasses were made of paper and I was too young to get into a Restricted movie.
Taking the fancy plastic glasses from the usher, I settled myself in the near-empty theatre and hoped for the best.
Here are some of my thoughts:
- The 3D itself was...a little disappointing. Since this was my first film with the new 3D, I figure some 3D is probably better than others. The 3D overall was kinda neat, but not like, "whoa" impressive. The opening sequence actually poked fun at the whole 3D aspect, throwing everything from a tire to a knife holder "in your face" to show off the new technology. Thankfully, I was comfortably calm and had zero dizziness and no nausea. I will definitely go see another 3D movie now. Yay.
Click to view- The opening premonition sequence was totally fun. I instantly recognized my beloved Alex Fraser Bridge in Delta, B.C. as the setting, and for the next 20 minutes, it was all happy memories and reminiscing. I feel somewhat honored to have crossed this same bridge last year and survived. XD
- The kills - in a word, okay. Really not too inventive and tried too hard to utilize the 3D, instead of focus on what could have been really creative scenarios. I think my favorite was the gymnast's, as it was so splatterific and didn't hold anything back. The rest of the kills seemed a bit tame and really could've been teased out a bit more. The tension created with a simple bolt resting on a high beam in the first gymastic kill was brilliant, but the rest weren't as well thought out. The massage parlor kill was incredibly dumb and the "weapons of choice" at a massage parlor were highly underutilized. A blow to the head? Come ON. Unoriginal and boring! The eyeball kill was totally stolen from The Black Cat, too, but still enjoyable.
- I really, REALLY wish they would've set up the timeframe a little bit better. There was only one instance in the film where it mentioned it was supposed to be set in the mid-90s (to tie in with the fun ending of which I shall speak a bit later) and that was a banner on a gym wall stating "1997 champions."
- TONY TODD WAS AWESOME!!!! But when ISN'T that man awesome? He was highly underused, but I wasn't expecting much, since he probably just flew up to B.C. for the day, did his scenes, collected his $20K and flew back home. But the man didn't phone it in at all - he still shone as he did in the original FD. Heart you, Tony!
- The whole plot device of killing someone else to "take your place" so death skips you was incredibly stupid and useless. It's almost as if the writer thought, "Gee, that's a great plot device! Let's overuse it!" and they did. Ugh.
- The acting was subpar, but not since my beloved Devon Sawa's maniacal mug graced the first film have the thespian stylings been as good. The cast in the original (and perhaps the second film) were really tight and excellent, and I could even stretch my praise into #3, since the lead girl in that was so strong (and Canadian!), but everyone in this was just awful. Where do they find these moronic young "actors" and why do they keep putting them onscreen? One of the dudes was doing his worst Tom Cruise impression, which made him seem even more stupidly cardboard. Alas. The "eye candy" girl in this was totally HOT, so it was nice to just ogle her perfect body...before it got mangled.
- The climax in the kitchen was HORRIBLE, but the denoument/epilogue absolutely made up for it. The circling back to the original film with the two last lead characters stuck on the plane that Devon predicts will blow up was a brilliant idea. It pleased me greatly, but also made me sad. With this full circle, it almost felt like they were saying this was the final, final, full-stop, no more, we are done with this, absolutely, finally Final Destination film. As I said above, no matter how bad they get, I still love knowing there will always be another one. But perhaps that has finally reached its...er...destination.
- Including Tony Todd's cameo, there were a few little cute nods to the former 4 films, including the end sequence, which showcased most of the kills (save the ones from the original film). I just wish they would've used my favorite lingo, "It's death's design," somewhere in the script, since it's such an elegant way of describing the plot device.
- Having Vancouver (and other bits of B.C.) as the backdrop for this film hearkened back to the original film, and brought back many happy memories of my days living in the Pacific Northwest. I believe I even saw a "Lick's" restaurant sign in the background of several scenes. The wonderful use of Canadian actors (especially the eye surgeon) and hearing the lilting accents of my countrypeople made me happily homesick as well.
Overall, Final Destination 5 was no FD1 or FD2, or even FD3, but it was still a Final Destination movie, with all the little plot devices that I love, so I still enjoyed it. And it was still better than #4 by a longshot!