the hourglass pours its sand into my heart.
have i ever mentioned that i have a horrible memory for events? i do.
that's why sometimes i am terrified that i won't remember the little things about my boy's growing up. things like the way he says "fish" all breathy and emphasizing the f and letting it trail off. things like how he only plays with his toys in pairs, the small lightning and mater, the big lightning and mater, the two larger planes, the small helicoper and the small plane, the garbage truck and taxi cab. he loves his cars, can you tell?
i hope to always hang on mentally to the wonder he has at the aquarium, the way he lights up when he sees someone walk in the door, the sheer joy when he sees the pizza man show up at the door. i hope he holds tight to the joy in the little things, like watching the space shuttle blast off for the 1000th time, lifting his hands up high and shouting "blast off" as best he can, which comes out more like "B'ooh!"
i wish i could document every laugh, every giggle, every word that he says as he is learning. i know i can't and my words will bring it back to me in 6 month's time, but will it in 6 years? can anyone else appreciate through my words the feelings that those little moments bring out in me - that feeling of pride and excitement and terror that it is all going by too fast and i can't hold tight enough to it to keep it around for even a moment longer.
i must say that i am thankful for living in a digital age, but sometimes i get lost in the world behind the camera, spending more time documenting that moment than actually living it. i worry too much about getting that adorable snippet documented on facebook for my family and friends to enjoy that i don't get to finish watching him explore that new place, new feelings, new everything. i need to learn how to find that delicate balance between living in the moment and keeping it mentally filed away and digitally stored.
i have a horrible memory, but i guess i am always making new ones to make up for it, aren't i?
that's why sometimes i am terrified that i won't remember the little things about my boy's growing up. things like the way he says "fish" all breathy and emphasizing the f and letting it trail off. things like how he only plays with his toys in pairs, the small lightning and mater, the big lightning and mater, the two larger planes, the small helicoper and the small plane, the garbage truck and taxi cab. he loves his cars, can you tell?
i hope to always hang on mentally to the wonder he has at the aquarium, the way he lights up when he sees someone walk in the door, the sheer joy when he sees the pizza man show up at the door. i hope he holds tight to the joy in the little things, like watching the space shuttle blast off for the 1000th time, lifting his hands up high and shouting "blast off" as best he can, which comes out more like "B'ooh!"
i wish i could document every laugh, every giggle, every word that he says as he is learning. i know i can't and my words will bring it back to me in 6 month's time, but will it in 6 years? can anyone else appreciate through my words the feelings that those little moments bring out in me - that feeling of pride and excitement and terror that it is all going by too fast and i can't hold tight enough to it to keep it around for even a moment longer.
i must say that i am thankful for living in a digital age, but sometimes i get lost in the world behind the camera, spending more time documenting that moment than actually living it. i worry too much about getting that adorable snippet documented on facebook for my family and friends to enjoy that i don't get to finish watching him explore that new place, new feelings, new everything. i need to learn how to find that delicate balance between living in the moment and keeping it mentally filed away and digitally stored.
i have a horrible memory, but i guess i am always making new ones to make up for it, aren't i?