Fish guts, Whipped Cream & Coleslaw...OH MY!
My friend wanted to have a food fight for her birthday. I had never been involved in anything that could be called more then a food tiff, you know, a french fry here, a handful of popcorn there…small scale stuff so I was all for it. “Food fight? But, of course!”
We met up at a park on Sunday afternoon, arsenal in tow and proceeded to have a 30 minute Food Fight ROYALE! It was hysterically funny and disgusting. There was laughter, dry heaving (by me! Damn that gag reflex!) and of course, more laughter.
The only “rule” my friend specified was that you didn’t bring anything hard. This left the choice of weaponry WIDE OPEN. I thought I had come up with the perfect idea. I bought a bag of 250 hand grenade size water balloons and ton of jello mix. Unfortunately, you need the pressure of the faucet to force the balloon to expand. I tried a turkey baster, which did work but, only for one squirt worth. Once you tried to put a second squirt in whatever was already in there shot out. It wasn’t pretty; I had a food fight with myself just getting ready to go to the food fight! Stupid physics!
rayhatespeople is a natural. He purchased Honey BBQ sauce, chocolate syrup (in the big plastic, squirtable bottles), giant tubs of whipped topping and marshmallows. . All worked out as great projectiles! My favorite was to take a handful of whipped topping and glop it on the marshmallows before throwing. It added the needed weight; made a delicious splatty noise and the marshmallow usually stuck quite satisfactorily to whatever it hit. The BBQ sauce was excellent. Aside from using it like a machine gun right out of the bottle Ray also blobbed it on to bread slices someone else had brought and would smack it on to whoever was running by. It was stinky, gross and perfect! Other stuff that I ended up covered in: shaken cans of ice cold Diet Pepsi, coleslaw, noodles, cottage doubles (cottage cheese and fruit slop! Awesome!), smoked chicken (another gagger), pancakes, parkay squeeze, strawberry syrup, & marshmallow cream
The piece de la resistance was the birthday cake, properly inscribed with "EAT ME" in huge letters. Ray had the grand honor of smashing the birthday girl’s face into it and then we all threw whatever was left. In case you didn’t know, blue and green icing can stain skin.
At the end we all agreed that we need one more rule for the next food fight (sometime this fall), the weapons of choice must be edible. Someone had gone fishing the day before and brought all the fish guts along. Fortunately they had kept them refrigerated so they weren’t rotten but, hell! Fish guts are slimy and stinky even when properly cooled. That is were the dry heaving came in; a big splat of fish guts on the side of your face (of course mouth wide open with laughter) it quite possibly in the top 5 nastiest things ever. I had to take a time out to wipe my face and sunglasses off with wet wipes like the biggest pussy ever but, I couldn’t stop the gagging!
My throwin’ arm is sore today and I swear I can still smell fish and BBQ sauce…I think it must be stuck in my nasal passages.
We met up at a park on Sunday afternoon, arsenal in tow and proceeded to have a 30 minute Food Fight ROYALE! It was hysterically funny and disgusting. There was laughter, dry heaving (by me! Damn that gag reflex!) and of course, more laughter.
The only “rule” my friend specified was that you didn’t bring anything hard. This left the choice of weaponry WIDE OPEN. I thought I had come up with the perfect idea. I bought a bag of 250 hand grenade size water balloons and ton of jello mix. Unfortunately, you need the pressure of the faucet to force the balloon to expand. I tried a turkey baster, which did work but, only for one squirt worth. Once you tried to put a second squirt in whatever was already in there shot out. It wasn’t pretty; I had a food fight with myself just getting ready to go to the food fight! Stupid physics!
rayhatespeople is a natural. He purchased Honey BBQ sauce, chocolate syrup (in the big plastic, squirtable bottles), giant tubs of whipped topping and marshmallows. . All worked out as great projectiles! My favorite was to take a handful of whipped topping and glop it on the marshmallows before throwing. It added the needed weight; made a delicious splatty noise and the marshmallow usually stuck quite satisfactorily to whatever it hit. The BBQ sauce was excellent. Aside from using it like a machine gun right out of the bottle Ray also blobbed it on to bread slices someone else had brought and would smack it on to whoever was running by. It was stinky, gross and perfect! Other stuff that I ended up covered in: shaken cans of ice cold Diet Pepsi, coleslaw, noodles, cottage doubles (cottage cheese and fruit slop! Awesome!), smoked chicken (another gagger), pancakes, parkay squeeze, strawberry syrup, & marshmallow cream
The piece de la resistance was the birthday cake, properly inscribed with "EAT ME" in huge letters. Ray had the grand honor of smashing the birthday girl’s face into it and then we all threw whatever was left. In case you didn’t know, blue and green icing can stain skin.
At the end we all agreed that we need one more rule for the next food fight (sometime this fall), the weapons of choice must be edible. Someone had gone fishing the day before and brought all the fish guts along. Fortunately they had kept them refrigerated so they weren’t rotten but, hell! Fish guts are slimy and stinky even when properly cooled. That is were the dry heaving came in; a big splat of fish guts on the side of your face (of course mouth wide open with laughter) it quite possibly in the top 5 nastiest things ever. I had to take a time out to wipe my face and sunglasses off with wet wipes like the biggest pussy ever but, I couldn’t stop the gagging!
My throwin’ arm is sore today and I swear I can still smell fish and BBQ sauce…I think it must be stuck in my nasal passages.