And So Time's Passed Away
I miss a lot of things, I've missed them for a long time.
I know when I wake up there are only two options either the sun will be shining gently on my face, weak and tired it pushes it's way through the dirty glass. Or the rain will be slamming it's self against the window, pushing, begging for me to let it hang over my head. By the fact that I'm not sleeping under stars tonight I'm guessing it will be the later that awaits me tomorrow.
There are also two other options that are left up to fate in my life. Either my brother will be fine or he'll end up in the emergency room crying and fighting and in his eyes there will be nothing but fear. This is basically it, he has two problems:
first some of his ventricles are slowly falling a part and his heart is working harder than ever to pump blood. we don't know how bad the damage is yet. If the damage is extensive he'll have to undergo surgery to make sure his heart will keep going.
His most urgent problem is that his clotting mechanism isn't working. Basically due to slow deterioration when ever he puts pressure on his back for a period of time he bleeds a tiny bit internally and the blood is pooling under his skin. this is painful very painful but he doesn't want to go see the doctor till tuesday. if he waits to long he'll end up bleeding out.
I don't know why I wrote this, I'm actually trying to ignore this but it makes me feel better to write it down
I know when I wake up there are only two options either the sun will be shining gently on my face, weak and tired it pushes it's way through the dirty glass. Or the rain will be slamming it's self against the window, pushing, begging for me to let it hang over my head. By the fact that I'm not sleeping under stars tonight I'm guessing it will be the later that awaits me tomorrow.
There are also two other options that are left up to fate in my life. Either my brother will be fine or he'll end up in the emergency room crying and fighting and in his eyes there will be nothing but fear. This is basically it, he has two problems:
first some of his ventricles are slowly falling a part and his heart is working harder than ever to pump blood. we don't know how bad the damage is yet. If the damage is extensive he'll have to undergo surgery to make sure his heart will keep going.
His most urgent problem is that his clotting mechanism isn't working. Basically due to slow deterioration when ever he puts pressure on his back for a period of time he bleeds a tiny bit internally and the blood is pooling under his skin. this is painful very painful but he doesn't want to go see the doctor till tuesday. if he waits to long he'll end up bleeding out.
I don't know why I wrote this, I'm actually trying to ignore this but it makes me feel better to write it down