Weekly H'scopes
FREE WILL ASTROLOGY
Week beginning April 16
Copyright 2009 by Rob Brezsny
http://FreeWillAstrology.com
Grammar key: Asterisks equal *italics*
ARIES (March 21-April 19): One of the casualties of the recession has
been grooming and primping. Many people are devoting less time and
money to maintaining their appearance at peak levels. Make-up sales are
down, and I've definitely been seeing more unkempt -- or should I say raw
and unadorned? -- people lately. If you've been considering the possibility
of cutting back on your own preening, Aries, now would be a good time to
experiment. Why? For one thing, your natural attractiveness is especially
strong these days. For another, you're entering a phase when you'll need
people's approval less than usual. There's also the fact that anything you
do to simplify your life will be a tonic for your mental health.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Artist Amy Marx makes gorgeous paintings of
tornadoes. She's your role model for the coming weeks, Taurus. I hope
that she will inspire you to use your chaos productively . . . to welcome
elemental energy as raw material for your efforts to beautify your world.
Are you up to the challenge? I think you are, although you may have to
expand your attitude toward certain phenomena that seem disruptive.
(See Marx's tornadoes here: tinyurl.com/78xg63.)
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): "I'm having a very good crisis," financier
George Soros said recently. The global economic turmoil that has brought
such stress for so many other people has earned him millions of dollars.
That's no accident: A couple of years ago, Soros foresaw the approaching
upheaval and made a raft of smart adjustments in anticipation. I predict
that you will have your own very good crisis in the next few weeks,
Gemini -- especially if you set aside some time now to plan all the ways
you might be able to capitalize on the upcoming challenges.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): What I'd really like to see you do in the
coming weeks is party harder and party smarter than usual. In my
astrological opinion, you're most likely to attract life's maximum
generosity by shedding some of your social inhibitions and cultivating the
pleasures of free-form networking. Believe me, I know how important it is
for you to maintain the kind of strict boundaries that protect you from
being overly influenced by other people. It's what keeps you in close
touch with your intuition. But for the foreseeable future, I think you'll
thrive on the unexpected blessings that come from giving yourself to the
intelligence of the crowd.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Some celebrities have hired ghostwriters to
communicate for them via Twitter. In a recent tweet from rapper 50
Cent, actually sent by his operative Chris Romero, his fans were told that
"My ambition leads me through a tunnel that never ends." I hope you
won't follow 50 Cent's lead in the coming weeks, Leo -- either in the
sense of hiring a ghost-Twitterer or in the sense of following your
ambition down a tunnel that never ends. In my astrological opinion, you
need to work on eliminating middlemen and go-betweens as you pursue
your ambition through sunlit fields that lift your spirit.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): I give thanks for the dented rusty brown and
grey 1967 Chevy pick-up truck that my neighbor parks askew on the
shoulder of the road a few blocks from my house. Its messy appeal helps
snap me back to sanity when my own perfectionism threatens to de-soul
me, or when all the shiny, sleek, polished things of the world are on the
verge of hypnotizing me into believing that they alone should be
considered attractive. Are there equivalent icons in your life, Virgo?
Funky, unwieldy, anomalous things that are sublime in their own way? I
suspect you'll benefit from their influence more than usual in the coming
days.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Cracked.com ran an article on "5 Things You
Think Will Make You Happy (But Won't)." Here's a hint about what those
things are: fame, wealth, beauty, genius, and power. You might want to
go and read the essay at tinyurl.com/d974te. Even if you don't entirely
agree with its points, it should inspire you to get more realistic about
what specifically does increase your levels of well-being. It happens to be
an excellent phase of your astrological cycle to home in on the surprising
and idiosyncratic truths about what helps you feel like you belong here on
this planet.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): In Salmon Rushdie's book *The Enchantress
of Florence,* an exasperated ally of the manipulative 16th-century
politician Machiavelli tells him, "It's your curse to see the world too f------
clearly, and without a shred of kindness." Some of you Scorpios suffer
from a milder version of the same curse, and judging from the astrological
omens, I'd say that right now you're especially susceptible to the
problems it can create. I do think there's a way out for you, however;
there's a shift you can make to turn the curse into a blessing. Here's what
you have to do: See the world as f------ clearly as you dare, but with a
dose of compassion added. Then your shrewd perceptiveness will heal you
and energize you. You may even spawn minor miracles by penetrating to
the slippery truths hiding beneath the superficial appearances.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): If intelligent extraterrestrial beings
arrived on planet Earth and asked for a meeting, who would we send forth
to serve as our ambassador? Believe it or not, the favorite choice, as
determined in an Internet poll, was heavy metal musician and TV
personality Ozzy Osbourne. Although he wouldn't be my own top
candidate, I could see how a Sagittarian pioneer like Osbourne would make
sense. Your tribe is especially adept right now at facilitating
unprecedented combinations. If anyone could successfully compare apples
and oranges, it would be you. If anyone could explain to an anthropologist
from Mars the deeper meaning of Paris Hilton and the Octo-mom and the
American government's purchase of toxic assets, it would be you.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): At the risk of endangering her own safety,
a Capricorn woman I know intervened to protect a 14-year-old neighbor
girl who was being beaten on the porch by her father. Another one of my
Capricorn acquaintances informed her boss that she was offended by a
certain unethical practice she'd discovered the company engaged in. You
may not summon such extreme courage in the coming week, but I bet
you'll get close to it. It's the Season of Fierce Integrity for you -- a time
to dig deeper as you demonstrate your intensely practical commitment to
your core values.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): I actually kind of hope that your brain is in
major overload right now. I hope that you're feeling a bit overwhelmed by
all the new information you've absorbed, and that your imagination is a
blur of wheels within wheels within wheels spinning at top speeds. In fact
I'll go so far as to say that if this is the case, you're definitely on the right
track. You're doing what's necessary to prepare for rebuilding your
foundation in May. And if for some reason there are no wheels within
wheels within wheels spinning at top speeds -- if your mind is as empty
and clear as a cloudless blue sky in Montana -- then you're probably doing
something wrong. So get out there and start stuffing it with new ideas,
radical theories, crazy speculations, wild guesses, and raw perceptions.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): "I'm beginning to understand myself," said
jazz pianist Dave Brubeck. "But it would have been great to be able to
understand myself when I was 20 rather than when I was 82." While this
might sound discouraging, it's actually a prelude to some very good news:
You now have extraordinary power to dramatically deepen your self-
knowledge. Between now and May 20, you might even be able to extract
insights into your own mysteries that would normally only be available to
an 82-year-old.