thoughts at 2:27
I am so lucky.
Carter is one of my best friends, I’m my Daddy’s “Special Gift from God,” and my mom and I took bowling lessons together for 6 weeks. Don’t tell me my family isn’t the greatest.
I just got into the second best public university in the nation. I’m 8 in a class of over 250. I’ve been blessed with intelligence and a strong work ethic.
My friends are the greatest people in the world. They care about me so much.
Bobby is the most incredible boyfriend I could have ever asked for. 2 years and 8 months later, I’m still as in love with him as ever, and he’s taking me to Louis Ginter Botanical Gardens to see the Festival of Lights tomorrow night.
My family has been able to give me many experiences - skiing, Canada, Chicago, Florida, Colorado, even France.
I am so lucky.
This entry is not meant to rub my privileges in anybody’s face, and I sincerely hope that I’m not doing that. I just hate when people don’t appreciate their infinite blessings.
It drives me crazy when people talk about the money issues of their family or how they don’t have enough clothes. Or not enough friends. Or no boyfriend. I think it’s extremely important to appreciate what you do have. And honestly, I have everything that I need.
I’m thankful for all of my blessings. Of course there are things that would be nice to have, but I don’t need anything else.
My life is incredible, and I’m thankful.
On a completely different note, my life has changed significantly in the past year.
More than anything else, though, my friends have changed. I thought I would miss her when she turned against me, but now I have come to realize how she used me. How she manipulated me. How insincere she was most of the time. How hypocritical, how mean-hearted. How self-centered she was. All of her flaws are magnified now that I’m out of the friendship.
But that doesn’t mean that I ever stopped caring. I never did. I never could. I still love her. I always will. It hurts me when I offer a hand to her and she pushes it away. It makes it hard for me to see why I love her. I can’t see it anymore, yet, I can’t stop caring about her. I can’t stop worrying about her, and I can’t stop loving her.
I am glad that we’re done.
I feel replaced. I used to be the 4 in the friendship, now it’s the shallow girl. It sucks to feel like I was replaced by a person who I absolutely know is inferior to me… in kindness, in empathy, in intelligence, in everything.
But I’ve realized that my old “best friends” were never real friends. They never cared. They were always too self-absorbed they couldn’t see past themselves to help me through my struggles. They could never make time to listen; they could only talk.
I hate realizing that I wasted three years on false friends and now I’m starting over. I hate seeing the negative sides of all the people I used to love and cherish and call my best friends. I hate realizing that they never treated me right and I let them walk all over me.
But those people make me appreciate the new friends I have made. The people I have become closer to. My past friends have made me realize how little they cared for me. They showed me that real friends will listen during the tough times. Wipe away my tears when I cry. Give me hugs. Joke with me. Care for me. It’s something that I haven’t really felt since I left my best friends in middle school.
I’m glad that my group of friends has changed. They make me want to become a better person. They drive me to be a better friend. They encourage me to improve myself. They are a model of what kind of friend I want to be. Especially M.C. Hutch.
Je t’aime.
<3 E-Claire
Carter is one of my best friends, I’m my Daddy’s “Special Gift from God,” and my mom and I took bowling lessons together for 6 weeks. Don’t tell me my family isn’t the greatest.
I just got into the second best public university in the nation. I’m 8 in a class of over 250. I’ve been blessed with intelligence and a strong work ethic.
My friends are the greatest people in the world. They care about me so much.
Bobby is the most incredible boyfriend I could have ever asked for. 2 years and 8 months later, I’m still as in love with him as ever, and he’s taking me to Louis Ginter Botanical Gardens to see the Festival of Lights tomorrow night.
My family has been able to give me many experiences - skiing, Canada, Chicago, Florida, Colorado, even France.
I am so lucky.
This entry is not meant to rub my privileges in anybody’s face, and I sincerely hope that I’m not doing that. I just hate when people don’t appreciate their infinite blessings.
It drives me crazy when people talk about the money issues of their family or how they don’t have enough clothes. Or not enough friends. Or no boyfriend. I think it’s extremely important to appreciate what you do have. And honestly, I have everything that I need.
I’m thankful for all of my blessings. Of course there are things that would be nice to have, but I don’t need anything else.
My life is incredible, and I’m thankful.
On a completely different note, my life has changed significantly in the past year.
More than anything else, though, my friends have changed. I thought I would miss her when she turned against me, but now I have come to realize how she used me. How she manipulated me. How insincere she was most of the time. How hypocritical, how mean-hearted. How self-centered she was. All of her flaws are magnified now that I’m out of the friendship.
But that doesn’t mean that I ever stopped caring. I never did. I never could. I still love her. I always will. It hurts me when I offer a hand to her and she pushes it away. It makes it hard for me to see why I love her. I can’t see it anymore, yet, I can’t stop caring about her. I can’t stop worrying about her, and I can’t stop loving her.
I am glad that we’re done.
I feel replaced. I used to be the 4 in the friendship, now it’s the shallow girl. It sucks to feel like I was replaced by a person who I absolutely know is inferior to me… in kindness, in empathy, in intelligence, in everything.
But I’ve realized that my old “best friends” were never real friends. They never cared. They were always too self-absorbed they couldn’t see past themselves to help me through my struggles. They could never make time to listen; they could only talk.
I hate realizing that I wasted three years on false friends and now I’m starting over. I hate seeing the negative sides of all the people I used to love and cherish and call my best friends. I hate realizing that they never treated me right and I let them walk all over me.
But those people make me appreciate the new friends I have made. The people I have become closer to. My past friends have made me realize how little they cared for me. They showed me that real friends will listen during the tough times. Wipe away my tears when I cry. Give me hugs. Joke with me. Care for me. It’s something that I haven’t really felt since I left my best friends in middle school.
I’m glad that my group of friends has changed. They make me want to become a better person. They drive me to be a better friend. They encourage me to improve myself. They are a model of what kind of friend I want to be. Especially M.C. Hutch.
Je t’aime.
<3 E-Claire