Fic: Destiny Calling (Part 5, His Universe Series)
Title: Destiny Calling (Part 5 of His Universe series)
Author: Lilac Summers (lilsum4)
Fandom: Doctor Who
Pairing: Eleven/Donna
Rating: G
A/N: Donna is left behind, again. We learn how the metacrisis was fixed. Sequel to Part 4: Sparkling Personality, from His Universe series. Will this make sense if you haven't read the others? Probably not! Here you go if you need a refresher: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4
The TARDIS lands with a thunk, destination unknown, just how they all like it. At least, that's what the Doctor is soliloquizing about, ignoring all his companions' objections. Because Donna would rather land, on purpose, on a beach she can actually enjoy for more than 5 minutes before being pulled away.
In any case, Donna's lagging behind, having detoured to pick up her coat - as you never can trust that he hasn't landed them smack in the middle of a snowstorm. She doesn't get to be the first one at the doors this time. Rory and Amy exit while the Doctor casts an impatient glance her way. "Don-na," he urges, the cadence familiar even if the voice itself is not.
"Coming, coming, like you can't wait a bloody thirty seconds-" she rushes after him as he steps out.
She smacks straight into his back.
"Unf!" is all she gets out before the Doctor whirls in place, shoves her back, and slams the TARDIS doors in her face.
She stands stunned for a second. Something in her brain twists, sending fear to coil in her limbs.
She's being left behind.
She throws herself at the door, twisting the handle. The illogical part of her brain is starting to panic, bracing for the sound of Daleks, the stomach-churning feeling of the TARDIS falling falling falling. Waiting for the heat of a fiery cauldron.
Oh god, it's happening again. It's happening again and she's going to lose everything.
Her palms sting as she slams them against the doors. "Let me out! Let me out of here this INSTANT!"
She presses her ear to the door, but can only hear the barest hint of warbled voices. Her breath is catching in her throat, and she's unsure if the thumping she hears is her own blood rushing through her brain or the cadence of a new heart, as yet unborn, converging back on her.
She shuts her eyes tightly, tells herself to get a grip!, and forces herself to turn, her back braced against the doors.
But there is no glowing hand in a jar under the console, no flames starting to lick the wall, and the TARDIS continues to hum its placid song - all shiny copper, steel and glass instead of porous coral.
For once, the new TARDIS interior is comforting in its strangeness. Like a fog lifting from her brain, the panic recedes as Donna forces oxygen through her lungs in slow, measured breaths. She fights for emotional control, thankful that no one was around to witness her completely losing it.
She takes one last deep inhale and squares her shoulders before narrowing her eyes in thought. The Doctor shoved her back in here for a reason; if it were dangerous out there, he would have tried to drag the Ponds back inside as well. So it stands to reason that it's only Donna that he doesn't want outside.
Her attention alights on the console and she bounds over to the controls, pulling down the vid screen and pressing buttons until grainy figures appear onscreen.
Shit, no audio. A few more buttons, a lever, and the picture sharpens, noise erupting from hidden speakers.
"What, THE Donna Noble?" exclaims a feminine voice.
"Yes, and we can't-"
"So let me in, I want to meet her!" that voice says again, and a wild-haired woman edges past the Doctor, going for the doors.
The Doctor snags the woman round the waist, holding her back. His hands settle on her hips with easy familiarity. Donna's eyebrows ping upward, watching onscreen.
"Oh no you don't. You and Donna can't meet," argues the Doctor.
"Whyever not?" exclaims the excruciatingly familiar curly-haired woman. Rory and Amy echo the question, and the Doctor ignores them just the same.
Donna tilts her head, bemused, as she watches the woman easily turn in the Doctor's arms to fiddle with that godawful bow tie. The Doctor gently disengages, face twisting as he makes up and discounts several lies.
He clears his throat, re-crooks his bow tie, and finally settles on the extremely annoying excuse of "spoilers." Donna rolls her eyes in aggravation. She should have known he'd been the creator of that annoying catchphrase.
"Oh, you're no fun in the slightest," states the woman, but she dutifully turns on her heel and abandons her quest for the TARDIS doors. She saunters over to Amy and hooks an arm around the younger woman. "Mum! You're looking lovely as always. So, tell me everything you know about the famous Donna Noble. Most Important Woman in All of Creation! I Wrote a thesis on her disappearance, you know, back in..."
Their voices fade as they walk away. The Doctor casts one last guilt-filled glance at the TARDIS doors before also exiting the camera's view.
Donna sits back on the jump seat, exhaling heavily. "Oh, River," she sighs, sad for both herself - being left behind like an unnecessary sunhat - and for River and what's yet to come.
A few weeks ago, Donna's time
After Donna saved the universe, the Doctor had, in turn, sternly warned the universe away from Donna Noble. Thus, as ever, she somehow managed to miss every grand-scale attack on Earth.
Sontarans? Donna's private travel agent had suggested spelunking in Africa.
Cybermen? Donna'd been sent on a private cruise to Antarctica.
Anything exciting, anything otherworldly, anything extraordinary - Donna missed it.
Because Donna now has a perfectly safe, perfectly dull life. In fact, she's the safest person in the world.
She doesn't know this, of course. She doesn't know that her every outing is tracked by CCTV, and that a Unit agent is officially assigned to trail and ensure her safety in her regular day-to-day life.
Officially known as the "Donna Handler," this special Unit agent shares the title with three other agents who serve her on rotation.
They protect her from anything that might trigger the metacrisis during her day-today life, and also keep her safe from basic human stupidity: reckless drivers (Donna doesn't question why she seems to hit all the green lights when she drives), muggers, people gone bonkers on Boxing Day sales (Donna's delighted she has the luck of hitting the stores when there are practically no crowds).
They don't much need to worry about aliens trying to directly harm Donna, though. No alien would dare; not since the last time Harold Saxon showed up, at least. It's a well-known rule among the universe that even the most violent of invaders obey: do not bother Donna Noble, or you'll face the Doctor's wrath. Mind, you're probably going to face it anyway if you're planning on taking over the Earth, but no need to start off with an extra-angry Time Lord.
Donna is living a highly-curated life, and it's supposed to stay that way.
Alas, River Song never got the memo.
And so on a bright Sunday morning, Donna opens the door to a woman with the most improbable hair she's ever seen.
"I don't need to switch shampoo brands, thanks anyway," Donna says as way of greeting, ready to shut the door.
The woman looks slightly startled, but the beginnings of a smile stretch her lips. Laugh lines fan out from gray eyes. She stops the door from closing by placing one surprisingly strong hand on the door jamb. "I'm not selling shampoo."
Donna stops mid-swing, and takes a closer look at the person who has interrupted her morning brunch. "Home perms?" she hazards a guess. "Lemme be honest, sweetheart: the hair's fabulous," Donna says, with a broad gesture at the mass of brown and gold that adorns the woman's head, but then points to her own head of curling crimson strands, with a flourish. "But this don't need no improvement."
The woman's eyes crinkle in delight. "I like you!"
Donna scowls, a new idea popping in her head. "Ohhh, I get it. You're one of those 'lost relations,' a third cousin twice removed, who suddenly needs a loan now that you know I won the lottery."
River grins wider, increasingly entertained. "Are you going to let me tell you who I am, or just keep guessing?"
Donna's hand itches to slam the door shut, because she's taken an instant distrust to this stranger, but curiosity - ever her nemesis! - keeps her from doing so.
"Go on then," Donna relents, opening the door wider and ushering the woman in. "Oh, but if you're here because you're gonna pass yourself off as Shawn Temple's relation, then, you should know we've been divorced for almost six months and-"
"Oh dear, you really aren't going to shut up," the woman muses. "I should have guessed you'd be just like him."
"Just like who?" is querying Donna, but she doesn't quite get that "who" out. Because blondie leans in and kisses her. Right on the mouth! Like it's nothing! Donna hasn't kissed many girls (or any, to be honest - despite Nery's best drunken attempts), and it's not unpleasant but doesn't do much for her either, though this lady's got some skill if what she's doing with her tongue is any indication. Although, the longer the kiss goes on, the warmer and warmer Donna feels...and why is she just standing here letting this stranger kiss her?!
Donna grabs a handful of ash-blond curls and tugs, hard. The stranger breaks away, and Donna is ready with a very loud "OI, what the FUCK do you think you're doing-" before a bolt of pain sends her to her knees.
The woman - no, not just any woman, it's...it's...ooh, the name is at the tip of her tongue - kneels beside her, letting Donna curl up on her lap as she cries out in shock and pain. A cool hand soothes her brow. "There you go. Oh, it's working. Just relax. Don't fight it," and other nonsense Donna doesn't understand washes over her as fire burns through her, dissolving her from within, charring her into ash and building her up again in a tidal wave of gold lava flowing through her veins.
A burst of light blinds them both as Donna convulses one last time. The accompanying wave of energy erupting from her, sends River - yes, that's the name! - River, flying back.
Donna's heart thunders in her chest and her lungs ache, fighting to keep oxygen in her overwrought system. "What-what did you do?" she gasps.
Her answer is a groan from somewhere to her right.
"River...what did you do,"she demands again, hands clutched tight around a head that seems too full of ...of...of everything.
There's a scuffle at her side, and more groaning, and then River is back to press her hand against Donna's breast.
"OI!" screeches Donna. "Seriously, now is not the time!"
"It worked!" interrupts River.
"WHAT DID YOU DO!" Donna roars a final time.
River sits back on her heels, "Made you a little more Time Lord. And me a little less. Donna Noble, I do believe I've saved your life."
Donna rolls around a bit, feeling pins and needles suffuse all her limbs. "And why would you bother?" she demands, still groggy from the pain, until a singular thought makes her fight through it and up on her feet, so that she can run to the nearest mirror.
"You didn't make me regenerate did you?! Oh, I'm going to kill you if I look like-" but as she reaches the hall mirror, she is faced with her familiar red hair, the same face, same everything. River's reflection pops up behind her shoulder.
"No. I'm not sure you could survive a complete regeneration. But I gave you enough for your brain to heal itself, and force a few other internal organs to change enough to supply the new areas of your brain with the increased oxygen it needs."
"You made me Time Lord?" screeches Donna, in the same tone she'd use if she were saying "you made me a lick the bottom of a dirty shoe?", hands going to her breasts to see if she can feel a difference in heartbeat.
"Sort of. A little. You were halfway there anyway. You're welcome," responds River dryly, and stalks off to a window, twitching the curtains slightly to scan the pavements. She spies Donna Handler #2 having a smoke under the neighbor's tree. Boy is he going to get a talking to.
"But how can you do that?" nags Donna, quick on her heels. "How come the Doctor didn't heal me like that?"
"All Time Lords have their gifts. And some are much better at handling regeneration energy than others. The Doctor is rubbish at it, but I'm particularly skilled. Gave the Doctor all but one of my regenerations once, to save him from poison."
Her heart does seem to beat a bit off-kilter under her hand. Donna's a bit too afraid to ask if she actually has two now. Because that would be just too weird to contemplate.
"That's a handy skill to have," mutters Donna. But her nifty improved brain is finally catching up, and processing what River just said. "Waitaminute. Hold on there. Did you say you gave all but one of your regenerations to the Doctor?!"
River is suddenly extremely interested in the view of the street.
Donna squeezes close to get in her face, not about to be ignored. "River, did you just give me the rest of your regenerative energy?" she demands.
Her answer is a tiny inclination of the head as River looks down and away, fussing with a fancy cuff on her wrist.
Donna stares. Stares some more as all that happened in the Library makes sense. She spears her fingers through her hair, throwing back her head, eyes squinting shut as the sheer idiocy of it all falls into place. "I can't believe you! Of all the STUPID, DUMBO, SPACEMORON THINGS!" she berates River. "The Doctor is going to kill you, he'll be so angry! No, I'm going to kill you. I'm going to kill you both, because for being all-mighty Time Lord geniuses, you both make dumber decisions than angry toddlers. If someone was gonna fix me, it shoulda been him, not you giving me space cooties and making me alien!"
Donna throws her arms wide, finishing her rant. "Besides, how come you're even here; you're not supposed to know who I am!"
River's piercing, knowing eyes are on Donna. "Well that's funny, isn't it. Because it seems to be that you know me already. I've never met you until now but you know me. How do you know me, Donna?"
Donna's bravado bleeds away. She stumbles back one quick, shocked step. "I- I didn't- I should-"
River waits patiently through Donna's fumbling until Donna sputters off and the room descends into charged silence.
"Do you know what happened for me yesterday?" River finally murmurs.
It's rhetorical, Donna knows, and yet she still gives a sharp shake of her head.
"The Doctor showed up on my doorstep, with a new suit, a clean haircut, just for me. All polished and smiling, ready to take me out." River fixes Donna in her gaze, and Donna is frozen at the terrible look of understanding in River's eyes. "The Doctor has never, not once, made such an effort. He gave me his sonic, of all things. And under that stupid smile was nothing but emptiness."
Donna has gone mute, barely breathing, trying to give nothing away even as she feels her chin begin to tremble.
"And that man, that 'Spacemoron' to use your own words, thinks I can't figure out that it was all his version of a goodbye. I'm not going to be seeing him again, for some reason, and he knows it."
River studies Donna's pale, stoic face. "And you know it, too. What happens next?"
Donna rubs a hand under her nose and tries to look as though she's not likely to burst into tears any moment. "I thought you were supposed to be all careful about ruining things. It's 'spoiler' this and 'spoiler' that, and really, no offense or anything, but it's bloody annoying," she manages through a dry throat.
River narrows her eyes at Donna, well aware that she's trying to change the subject. After a breathless moment she finally lets Donna off the hook, willing to be sidetracked. "Donna, your life has been one giant spoiler," River says wryly. "Every unofficial biography, every history book. It's been staring me in the face all along."
As chuffed as Donna is to learn that somewhere out there is a Life and Times of Donna Noble, it makes no sense. "What has?"
River glances away and brushes a hand through her mop of hair, absorbed once more with staring outside. Donna would think she was nervous, if it weren't for the fact that River seems singularly unflappable.
"I married him, you know," comes the statement, out of the blue.
"Who?" It's a stupid questions but it tumbles out of Donna's mouth anyway.
"The Doctor."
Donna opens her mouth, closes it. It's not a shock, really - not after what the Doctor had told her in the Library. "Um, okay?"
"Sort of. Mostly. Had to, to keep time from unraveling - but still, he calls me his wife. I think he loves me, as much as he's capable. He tries very very hard, to be a good husband. Oh, but we've had some grand adventures in his attempt to compensate!"
"Ohhh-kay."
"But he never succeeded, not really - because you were there."
Donna's mouth is already forming an "o" in preparation for another "okay". "Oka- wait what?"
"You are always there, waiting in the TARDIS. So close and yet so far. The best mate who really was never just a mate at all."
"But I'm here."
"Yes, now you are. But in my past - in your future - you are back," River sighs.
"So you see, that's what's been staring me in the face all along. It was the biggest mystery, and according to him you always refused to tell him how you got back. And I got to thinking about Donna Noble, the famous Donna Noble whom I was never allowed to meet. Donna Noble who saved the Universe and then disappeared from Earth, to the bafflement of historians everywhere. And how? How could you possibly get over a metacrisis when the Doctor had no way to save you?"
River grins at the rare sunlit day outside. "I've always been infinitely more skilled in regenerative energy transfers. I finally realized that simply because he couldn't do it didn't mean I couldn't give it a try." She slants Donna a wink. "And fun, too."
Donna isn't sure if she's a bit dizzy from being kissed-cured or from trying to follow this conversation as it leapfrogs about. She really doesn't have the energy for flirting, on top of that. "Oi! You just said you're married!"
River flaps a dismissive hand. "Marriages are a lot less complicated in my time - or more complicated, depends on how you look at it. Monogamy hasn't been a standard for a long time. And it's not like I was always at home, knitting a doily and waiting for the Doctor to show up."
Donna scrubs her hands over her face, hard. "Are we talking about knitting now? How'd we get into knitting?"
"I encouraged him to sleep with you, you know. I thought some sex would ease some of the tension."
Donna splutters in shock, images of River knitting dissipating at once. "Wh- How- Whe- He wouldn't! We're just...we were only ever just m-"
"Oh for fuck's sake!" cries River, sounding truly aggravated. "Do you have any clue how many times I've heard that tired line from him? Even if you were 'just mates,' what's wrong with a friendly shag when you're both in the mood. He would be a lot less tetchy, let me tell you, if you were both -"
Donna clamps her hands over her ears, as if that can stop the words from entering her brain. Her brand new brain, spoiled.
"I don't want to hear this! Spaceman and I weren't like that and I'd like you to stop putting these horrible images in my mind. It's a Time Lord mind now - I'll never forget them."
"Oh? You aren't curious about what he can do with that respiratory bypass system?" River grins, evilly.
Well, now she was. "Look," replies Donna firmly, hands making a sort of shushing motion as she tries to impress on River the importance of simmering down. "I don't want to know anything about your weird alien sex habits. Or his. Ever. And, anyway, I don't believe half of what you say! Like I'd sit around and twiddle my thumbs in the TARDIS, waiting like a good little miss, while he was off adventuring with you. "
"Oh, you never let him do anything. It's delightful how angry that makes him, actually. But I'm not often along for trips. We don't travel together, he and I. I call him when I need him, or he drops by to visit. I'm not one of his companions."
That seems weird to Donna. "Why not? All of space and time and you don't want to go along? Live with him?"
River's expression twists into something that Donna would say is resignation with an edge of bitterness. It clears too quickly for Donna to be sure. When River speaks, her voice is breezy and careless. "It's complicated. We're living our lives in reverse and that's the way it has to be. Keeps him on his toes, anyway. He's so much work, really - well, you know - so many issues. He can have his companions to make him feel better, if that's what he needs. It's best I stay the mysterious wife, popping in only when necessary, keep the timelines nice and straight."
Donna is starting to think that perhaps the Doctor is a rubbish husband, after all. "That doesn't sound..." fair, fun, right, even slightly tolerable, are all things she wants to say."...Ideal," she finishes lamely.
River shrugs a shoulder. "It is what it is. It works for us. All of us. Oh, you'll see soon enough. Besides, I have my own adventures to go on; I don't need his." She taps the fancy wrist contraption she has on.
"And that brings us nicely to next steps, don't you think? You, Donna Noble, have a date." River slips a hand into a pocket and fishes out a pen. With not even a "may I", she takes Donna's hand and begins to scribble time and coordinates onto her wrist.
Donna allows it, her mind whirling with too much of what's been said and implied for her to even give a token "oi."
River finishes with a flourish, dots an i with a heart, and gives Donna back her wrist. "There you go!"
"You couldn't have just texted it to me?" whines Donna, peering at her wrist. "Just my luck I'll be caught in a downpour.”
"You won't. You'll get there right on time. It's already happened," winks River. "And now I must be off."
Donna looks up hurriedly from the information on her skin. Panic builds. This is real now. Cogs are in motion. It's happening. Like River said, it's already happened.
And she's not sure she wants it. Any of it. Not like this.
"Wait! River," says Donna suddenly, latching on to River's arm. "Don't go. Wherever you're going next, just don't."
River turns back to her, sliding away from Donna's hold before kindly taking both of Donna's hands in hers to squeeze. "I have to."
"No!" shouts Donna. "NO!" she shouts again as River steps away.
She's been holding on by pure force of will ever since River kissed her - partly believing it was all one vivid dream she'd wake from because surely River Song had not just traversed the universe to try to save her. There was absolutely no way that the Doctor was out there again, waiting. That Donna wasn't just some frustrated divorcee with an overactive imagination. That she was important. Important enough to save.
Donna was supposed to be having brunch and avoiding calls from her mother today. She was not supposed to have her future set and burning on her wrist, watching the woman who had just gifted it to her cheerfully go to her demise.
So Donna is angry now. Incensed with the idiocy of Time Lords. Time People. Time Morons. "No you don't! You don't have to do anything!" She grasps at River with shaking fingers.
"Fuck your stupid spoilers. Time can be re-written!" she urges. It's true because she feels it now...time. The timelines spreading out in gorgeous, multifaceted patterns. And River resolutely marching on is just so stupid. Were all Time Lords martyrs?!
River pries a hand away to stroke Donna's hair. "Oh sweetheart. No, it never truly can. Because when you rewrite time you risk losing all that came before and I would never, not ever, risk losing what I've already had. And what you will have."
And Donna is suddenly weeping. At the futility of it all. At all those things she still doesn't understand. "Just come with me, instead. You've already changed it," she pleads. "You weren't supposed to know who I was. Now you do. Why not change it more?"
"Half of keeping the time lines intact is just lying. Knowing when to lie, what to say. Now that I know this, it's simple enough for me to act like I don't recognize you," River reveals, calm in the face of Donna's anguish.
She cups Donna's flushed cheek, wet with tears. "Look at you. No wonder he could never say no to you when you cried." She abruptly pulls weeping Donna into her arms. "Here now, don't be sad. The universe is a sly old thing and all endings are beginnings, I promise you. But I do wish we had gotten to know each other better - we would have been such good friends! Given the Doctor hell, for one."
Donna clings, sobs breaking down into watery sniffles, and finally lets go, embarrassed. It's selfish of her to pour her emotions on River, who is holding steadfast in the face of overwhelming evidence that she's heading towards her last adventure. River is perhaps the strongest person Donna will ever meet and she deserves as much from Donna.
Donna does her best to summon a trembling smile. "Th-thank you," she says simply, realizing now that she has yet to say the words. "After everything, thank you."
"You're welcome. Keep him safe, will you? Keep him grounded. Don't be too angry at him for what he did."
"I can't promise you that," responds Donna truthfully. "I am angry. I'm so angry. If it weren't for you he would have just left me. But," she sniffs once more, tears finally dry, "I do promise to kick his arse into gear when he gets all maudlin and annoying. Which, let's face it, is a full time job."
River throws back her head with a laugh. With a final smile she leans forward and presses another friendly kiss to Donna's lips. "It's been an honor saving the Most Important Person in Creation," she says, and blinks away quickly before Donna can break down again and beg her to stay.
Back in the TARDIS, Present Time
Donna realizes she's crying when a tear drips down her neck. She rubs the back of her hand over her cheeks, disgusted with herself. She doesn't have time to be sitting in the TARDIS, feeling sorry for herself, crying over things that have already happened and which she can't change.
What she can do is go out there and explore. She'd told River she'd never sit around and twiddle her thumbs. And she won't, no matter what the Doctor thinks is best.
He doesn't get to leave her behind anymore.
to be continued