run on sentences
its 2am and i guess i'm realizing that i'm leaving tomorrow for la though not for good but leaving and leaving it is. i feel panicky, like someone's tearing me away from the steady ground and flinging me into a deep and dark pit like alice fell in wonderland except i'm afraid this won't be wonderland. but somehow i need to let go and tumble down that rabbit hole and hope there's more than a rabbit and not just a hole except can you blame me for hanging on so tight to the solid ground even though it'll bring me nowhere and ill end up in the same pointless and dull ground years later? well then i guess you can blame me but that still doesnt solve this panicky feeling inside of me like i'm going to be lost forever not like i'm not lost at all right now but truthfully i have no idea what i'm doing and i barely know how to live my life anymore and i guess that in itself is already tumbling down the rabbit hole.
goodnight.
goodnight.