holy shit its september already!!!!

[lilsexybabygirl]

Well its one of my best friends b-day to and she is 21 baby sweet someone to go to the bar with hehehe.. yes i love the rest of you too... mmm... well grandpa isn't getting any better so that really sucks.. not sure how things are going to work out there but all we can do is keep are heads up right. Im leaving in like 6 days to go see christopher and a part of me doesn't want to go i don't that said silly but he has been being so different that i don't know what to do or even what to say around him any more... I feel like i well always say the wrong things because he doesn't seem to believe me right now when i say things... i don't know what to do i thought he was my best friend but sometime i think he just tells me that to make me feel better.. I don't know if i should believe him or not anymore. I don't want to be with him at all yes i might love him but can't anyone believe you can love someone but NOT be IN LOVE with that person or what. i don't understand what the hell is up with that but its gay.. I like being around christopher because he makes me laugh and we have fun together and his just a good guy but that doesn't mean i'm in love with him because in that case i would be in love with Ethan also because i like being around him he makes me laugh and smile and just we have a great time together or i could even be in love with BOB (Jermey) because we have a good time together also.. Alright i think i got my point acrossed.. I don't know i'm only going to stay the weekend there and have a GOOD TALK with him and hope to work things out the right way.. you know.. and hopefully get the GREAT NEWS i've been waiting for about the whole big thing that has been going in my life.. who knows wish me luck :)

Well today has been an alright day... talked with my mom a little bit.. getting ready to find a 2nd JOB and hopefully pay off all my BILLS or some of them be able to afford GAS in my car f*** its like $3.40 around here i don't get it... who can afford thats S***.. Well Heather.s told me she was sorry today and yes i forgive her, thats just me :) shes a good person at heart i know it.. I hope everything works out for her.. and no i'm not in the wedding i don't want to go through all that again.. do you really blam me?
well i guess thats it for now i should get off the computer and see what everyone is doing if anyone is here yet hehehe :)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HEATHER :) I LOVE YOU GIRL :)