(no subject)
i think im slowly loosing my mind, and my sanity. im feeling incredibly lonely and i dont know why. i have a ton of amazing friends around me that make me smile. its when im alone that it's the worst. i have absolutely no reason to be depressed, yet i am and i have been for a while. it's really bothering me that i can't shake it, or at least pretend im not. for a while there i thought i was good, under control. didn't last long. ive had a few drinks, handled it well, didn't get drunk (well, not bad drunk), didnt drink the next night or continue drinking. it scares me to slip back to where i was. i dont think i have ever been more scared of something. maybe it's a good thing. i want to meet new people, hear new stories, have new experiences, but im too much of a pansy to actually get out into the social scene and do that. ugh. i guess im just the farthest thing from content as possible. and that last sentence i am ok with. on that note, back to work!