And I will commentamberchanAugust 29 2004, 12:22:56 UTC
Am I holding you back from living and learning in your life? NO...don't make it seem like I or anybody else is cause we're not and why you think that is all in your head
And just so you know...the reason why you feel the way you do is NOT because you're "18" and it's not because you're a "chick"...you feel the way you do because you're a person...people have feelings, mixed emotions...girls and guys alike...girls tend to express more while guys withhold with exceptions on both sides...we all start with them and always will have them...by you saying that just sounds ridiculous to me...no offense...you're trying to sound grow up and young at the same time...when you're 18 you don't think about being 18 and how you're suppose to be when you're 18...you're just 18...and reflect later...(that just bothers me on a personal level...)
AND Don't tell me you barely talk about Jamie because when you're around me that's every other word that comes outta your mouth and if it's not than Thank the lord it's a good day.
You like Jamie a WHOLE lot...and try not to show it...because if you didn't like him as much as you claim you don't then you wouldn't talk about him all the time...we could have a conversation about something completely different and somehow the story will wind back on him...and how is that so?...because you REALLY pressed and are tryin to not let me or anybody else know...when it's very apparent however
seriously...you've tried to rationalize everything with Jameson since day one because of Scott because he hurt you and you wanted to get back at him because he was doing whatever with a girl 2 days after you guys broke up...don't deny it b/c that's how it was...not what it ended up to be...but how it began...and because you don't want us to say anything to you about it you pretend like you have control and know what you're doing and why and have a huge explaination behind that really means nothing because there's underlying reason we all know about.
I'm not tryin to be mean...but yeah...that's what I have to say
Re: And I will commentlilrockAugust 29 2004, 13:56:22 UTC
Wow. um. wow. You try to fight me about saying I'm 18. I say that to point out I think I'm immature.
I didn't try to make it seem like you guys hold me back, it's just you have something to say about everything I do.
Fact is, I probably bring up scott just as much as jamie. Didn't know you hated talking about it all, you never said anything, sorry I gave you bad day's from it all. If I talk about him it's just cause I was excited about it is all.
I don't want to fight with you, but girl, you aren't listening to what I am saying. You seem to know me way beyond than I know myself, despite what I tell you. I talk about lots of things that I am not obsessed with. You make it seem like I feel like I'm gonna die without this kid. Do you read what I wrote? that last post was just me being curious. I was just wondering what is going to happen. And you can't say you don't wonder what happens either. BUt I write down in there that I don't want to do that, don't want to plan that I don't want worry about it all. SOme times it is nice to write about it all.
And you get mad at me for writing about it all. You always have so much to say about my relationships. I'm not an expert. Yes I did learn from you and josh, but be happy for me that I am happy. I accept fully well that me and jamie aren't together. I'm not sad and crying, I am really happy.
If you wanna jump down my case about this all fine. I won't talk to you about it all cause I don't want you getting mad and I don't want to fight with you over something stupid.
I know you are going through some thoughts right now, and thats cool. I am always here for you, and I know that you are here for me. And it does frustrate me that you don't tell me when it annoys you. I don't talk to you about what I do thinking it gives you bad days and stuff.
If that's how it is, then why do you talk to me? why ask me questions about things?
like I said, please don't take my words for more than they are. I'm not attacking you, and I wasn't attacking anyone else. Please don't take offense, cause I think what I'm saying is reasonable.
Yea I do play off me and jamie sometimes, and that's cause I don't like words, and it's because I don't think about it more seriously than it is. I don't think we are going to be together forever, I don't think that way. We all wonder sometimes what happens. so what. But yea, I'm not going to say anymore.
Say what you have to say and get it all out. I'd be lying if I said that all this doesn't bother me. But I'm not going to turn it into something big. I'm glad you have me figured out amber, but I have me figured out too, and please understand that I am ok. There are a few flaws in the way you defined me up there, but saying how it is will only take this further, and you won't believe me even if I tried. Half the reason I wrote the entire post. Take that for what it is.
Re: And I will commentlilrockAugust 29 2004, 14:04:58 UTC
and as far as the thing about scott and jamie, the whole getting back thing, I have never denied it. In fact, jamie and scott both know this. and my big explanation means nothing? so what is my underlying meaning? I really don't know what you are talking about here and am curious, so what is it I'm really trying to say amber?
Re: And I will commentamberchanAugust 29 2004, 19:13:35 UTC
And I never said I had a bad day from you talkin about him...it was just a good day IF you didn't
god damn...I refuse to talk about this stupid bullshit any longer cause that's all everything ever is...I'm gonna forget and you forget...but could you do me one fuckin favor?! and stop talkin down to me with your "so what is it I'm really trying to say amber?" and "I'm glad you have me figured out amber" (key word is amber in case you didn't catch that and people do that when they try to talk down to people and talk to them like they're fuckin 2)...I think I know my name by now...thanks
Re: And I will commentricanricanSeptember 1 2004, 13:05:27 UTC
point in fact is amber's got a different point of view on the whole situation than you do. she's on the outside looking in whereas your on the inside looking out. so amber see's a wider picture of you than you can see of yourself.
and truth to tell here, amber's right. and there was probably more she wanted to say, or more she could have said but she didn't. i would talk about things i've noticed here but i won't because someone will bring up some smart ass comment about me not being around or what the hell do i know it's your life or some bullshit like that. but you're an emotional person anyway, so your first instinct would be to deny and argue with anything anyone said that you could take negatively. not that IS negative. but that you could SEE as being possibly negative.
And just so you know...the reason why you feel the way you do is NOT because you're "18" and it's not because you're a "chick"...you feel the way you do because you're a person...people have feelings, mixed emotions...girls and guys alike...girls tend to express more while guys withhold with exceptions on both sides...we all start with them and always will have them...by you saying that just sounds ridiculous to me...no offense...you're trying to sound grow up and young at the same time...when you're 18 you don't think about being 18 and how you're suppose to be when you're 18...you're just 18...and reflect later...(that just bothers me on a personal level...)
AND Don't tell me you barely talk about Jamie because when you're around me that's every other word that comes outta your mouth and if it's not than Thank the lord it's a good day.
You like Jamie a WHOLE lot...and try not to show it...because if you didn't like him as much as you claim you don't then you wouldn't talk about him all the time...we could have a conversation about something completely different and somehow the story will wind back on him...and how is that so?...because you REALLY pressed and are tryin to not let me or anybody else know...when it's very apparent however
seriously...you've tried to rationalize everything with Jameson since day one because of Scott because he hurt you and you wanted to get back at him because he was doing whatever with a girl 2 days after you guys broke up...don't deny it b/c that's how it was...not what it ended up to be...but how it began...and because you don't want us to say anything to you about it you pretend like you have control and know what you're doing and why and have a huge explaination behind that really means nothing because there's underlying reason we all know about.
I'm not tryin to be mean...but yeah...that's what I have to say
Reply
I didn't try to make it seem like you guys hold me back, it's just you have something to say about everything I do.
Fact is, I probably bring up scott just as much as jamie. Didn't know you hated talking about it all, you never said anything, sorry I gave you bad day's from it all. If I talk about him it's just cause I was excited about it is all.
I don't want to fight with you, but girl, you aren't listening to what I am saying. You seem to know me way beyond than I know myself, despite what I tell you. I talk about lots of things that I am not obsessed with. You make it seem like I feel like I'm gonna die without this kid. Do you read what I wrote? that last post was just me being curious. I was just wondering what is going to happen. And you can't say you don't wonder what happens either. BUt I write down in there that I don't want to do that, don't want to plan that I don't want worry about it all. SOme times it is nice to write about it all.
And you get mad at me for writing about it all. You always have so much to say about my relationships. I'm not an expert. Yes I did learn from you and josh, but be happy for me that I am happy. I accept fully well that me and jamie aren't together. I'm not sad and crying, I am really happy.
If you wanna jump down my case about this all fine. I won't talk to you about it all cause I don't want you getting mad and I don't want to fight with you over something stupid.
I know you are going through some thoughts right now, and thats cool. I am always here for you, and I know that you are here for me. And it does frustrate me that you don't tell me when it annoys you. I don't talk to you about what I do thinking it gives you bad days and stuff.
If that's how it is, then why do you talk to me? why ask me questions about things?
like I said, please don't take my words for more than they are. I'm not attacking you, and I wasn't attacking anyone else. Please don't take offense, cause I think what I'm saying is reasonable.
Yea I do play off me and jamie sometimes, and that's cause I don't like words, and it's because I don't think about it more seriously than it is. I don't think we are going to be together forever, I don't think that way. We all wonder sometimes what happens. so what. But yea, I'm not going to say anymore.
Say what you have to say and get it all out. I'd be lying if I said that all this doesn't bother me. But I'm not going to turn it into something big. I'm glad you have me figured out amber, but I have me figured out too, and please understand that I am ok. There are a few flaws in the way you defined me up there, but saying how it is will only take this further, and you won't believe me even if I tried. Half the reason I wrote the entire post. Take that for what it is.
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god damn...I refuse to talk about this stupid bullshit any longer cause that's all everything ever is...I'm gonna forget and you forget...but could you do me one fuckin favor?! and stop talkin down to me with your "so what is it I'm really trying to say amber?" and "I'm glad you have me figured out amber" (key word is amber in case you didn't catch that and people do that when they try to talk down to people and talk to them like they're fuckin 2)...I think I know my name by now...thanks
Reply
and truth to tell here, amber's right. and there was probably more she wanted to say, or more she could have said but she didn't. i would talk about things i've noticed here but i won't because someone will bring up some smart ass comment about me not being around or what the hell do i know it's your life or some bullshit like that. but you're an emotional person anyway, so your first instinct would be to deny and argue with anything anyone said that you could take negatively. not that IS negative. but that you could SEE as being possibly negative.
Reply
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