(no subject)
So things have really been something else for me lately.
Ok here is something big going on with me. . . kinda girly. . . so dont' read on if you can't handle
Well my body has been acting up lately. Apparently my body is literally trying to pretend it's pregnant, meaning I'm extra tired lately, my boobs are producing milk, my boobs are getting bigger, etc. The funny thing is though that I'm not pregnant. The doctors are really confused and concerned about it cause it's probably my b.c. doing that, and there are very few cases on this. So I have no clue what is going on with that, and it is stressing me out cause I'm so much more busy.
I really need a day, and I can't have it cause of the damn play.
And all this coming on me (including school, dance, and work (much drama there)) I saw the post with amber, and it does worry me. I understand very well that when I went off to college that I would keep some distance with friends, and that's fine, but it gets me a little sad when the only time they im me is when there is something big going on, like there is no other time to show me affection. I don't want to be that friend. And I wish things could stay as they are, but alas they can't. I can't tell you how excited I was that cory was coming to visit, but then when becky couldn't come, he didn't either, and that bothered me some, but like I reply sometimes and he'll never reply back, but basically does that to everyone, especially becky. I think it's all just some big thing I've dealt with growing up about belonging, and I guess I'm so paranoid that I'll have to find better friends, when hey, wait a sec, these friends are perfect for me. I get weird about it sometimes. Sorry if it seems weird. I get lonely sometimes here, and really miss you guys, and I get homesick cause there are so few people I'm truly close to here, adn they feel neglected cause I'm always doing stuff. I'm really alone. And I just need to hear from my friends sometimes, but I don't. Or like when they list their close friends, and I"m not there. It bothers me cause I feel like I've really been there for some of my friends. I know, I guess I'm dramatic, but I hate the feeling it leaves me. And it does keep me unattached, cause I don't want to lose any of the people I love.
Ok here is something big going on with me. . . kinda girly. . . so dont' read on if you can't handle
Well my body has been acting up lately. Apparently my body is literally trying to pretend it's pregnant, meaning I'm extra tired lately, my boobs are producing milk, my boobs are getting bigger, etc. The funny thing is though that I'm not pregnant. The doctors are really confused and concerned about it cause it's probably my b.c. doing that, and there are very few cases on this. So I have no clue what is going on with that, and it is stressing me out cause I'm so much more busy.
I really need a day, and I can't have it cause of the damn play.
And all this coming on me (including school, dance, and work (much drama there)) I saw the post with amber, and it does worry me. I understand very well that when I went off to college that I would keep some distance with friends, and that's fine, but it gets me a little sad when the only time they im me is when there is something big going on, like there is no other time to show me affection. I don't want to be that friend. And I wish things could stay as they are, but alas they can't. I can't tell you how excited I was that cory was coming to visit, but then when becky couldn't come, he didn't either, and that bothered me some, but like I reply sometimes and he'll never reply back, but basically does that to everyone, especially becky. I think it's all just some big thing I've dealt with growing up about belonging, and I guess I'm so paranoid that I'll have to find better friends, when hey, wait a sec, these friends are perfect for me. I get weird about it sometimes. Sorry if it seems weird. I get lonely sometimes here, and really miss you guys, and I get homesick cause there are so few people I'm truly close to here, adn they feel neglected cause I'm always doing stuff. I'm really alone. And I just need to hear from my friends sometimes, but I don't. Or like when they list their close friends, and I"m not there. It bothers me cause I feel like I've really been there for some of my friends. I know, I guess I'm dramatic, but I hate the feeling it leaves me. And it does keep me unattached, cause I don't want to lose any of the people I love.