In my perfect world I'd be gone into nothingness but myself
So yesterday so awesome.............. I went under a 1:10 in my backstroke for the first time. I felt like crying. I know that sounds stupid but so what! That made my whole week perfect! So we lost to okemos and everyone felt like it was their fault. I thought the same thing.........my relay was horrible.
Today in band the clarinets had to march through this swamp. Everyone was laughing at me cuz it was right in my path and took me by suprise so I screamed in the middle when it was dead silent! grrrrrrrr then we keep doing that same routine over and over sooooooooo my pants were soaked! It was scary but then jessica fell in it too and it was funny.
So yeah I hate a certain person! Why does she have to be friends with everyone! She has an annoying laugh and voice. Grrr I can't stand it! She has a big nose a red face and everything else! So why is everyone friends with her!!!! I just don't understand! She is mean to soooooooo many people! I dunno if thats what gets you friends then I dunno I guess I'm going to be very lonely.
So lately I feel like, I dunno I don't have any friends who really care about my feelings. I mean I have been going through this super hard time. Like I dunno what to do. Who ever I talk to doesn't seem to really care, like they can't take me seriously. I'm only hilarious rachel, who they only talk to if their other convos are not good or their other friends ditch them. I was want to be important in someones eyes. Yeah I know that some people will come on and see that I'm their friend and that they love me but still...I don't know. I just want it to be true.
Some people who also said they would come watch me swim often haven't even showed up once. I guess that doesn't bother me...
I want a guy to like me for me. Not for anything else. Someone who could go to my swim meets see me in a swim cap and see how grosely skinney I am and still love me. Some one who isn't afraid of a challenge or tears. so if thats not you then I'm to good for you.
wow looking back on this entry it seems like I'm really selfish. These are just some things that would make me happy. Is it wrong to feel wanted. Besides who wants to be happy. Take BRAVE NEW WORLD for example...they were happy and it was horrible. For now going a 1:09 in backstroke and being ruthies hero will have to do.
Today in band the clarinets had to march through this swamp. Everyone was laughing at me cuz it was right in my path and took me by suprise so I screamed in the middle when it was dead silent! grrrrrrrr then we keep doing that same routine over and over sooooooooo my pants were soaked! It was scary but then jessica fell in it too and it was funny.
So yeah I hate a certain person! Why does she have to be friends with everyone! She has an annoying laugh and voice. Grrr I can't stand it! She has a big nose a red face and everything else! So why is everyone friends with her!!!! I just don't understand! She is mean to soooooooo many people! I dunno if thats what gets you friends then I dunno I guess I'm going to be very lonely.
So lately I feel like, I dunno I don't have any friends who really care about my feelings. I mean I have been going through this super hard time. Like I dunno what to do. Who ever I talk to doesn't seem to really care, like they can't take me seriously. I'm only hilarious rachel, who they only talk to if their other convos are not good or their other friends ditch them. I was want to be important in someones eyes. Yeah I know that some people will come on and see that I'm their friend and that they love me but still...I don't know. I just want it to be true.
Some people who also said they would come watch me swim often haven't even showed up once. I guess that doesn't bother me...
I want a guy to like me for me. Not for anything else. Someone who could go to my swim meets see me in a swim cap and see how grosely skinney I am and still love me. Some one who isn't afraid of a challenge or tears. so if thats not you then I'm to good for you.
wow looking back on this entry it seems like I'm really selfish. These are just some things that would make me happy. Is it wrong to feel wanted. Besides who wants to be happy. Take BRAVE NEW WORLD for example...they were happy and it was horrible. For now going a 1:09 in backstroke and being ruthies hero will have to do.