I'm a balla
I should talk to someone about my problem. See, my problem is that I find the absolute worst boy and BAM I'm attracted. It may not seem like such a big deal, but it really is. I do it over and over again and wonder why I always get hurt. People tell me I can do better, but the truth is I really don't want to. I like what I like and I can't help it.
My mom has this week off from work so I've been doing stuff with her. Me her and anj went to the beach the other day and to uncle michaels<3. Tomorrow we're going to canobieee! :) I'm so excited. Butttt I'm even MORE excited for tomorrow night. Me and anjilla mary courser are going to jesse's house for the best time everrr. I think Adams going, and I talked to paul and hes definitely going. I can't even remember the last time I saw jesse and I don't even have enough energy to think that far back. Of course he went to loudon for the races for like ever. I hate when I don't see him. For some reason I get really anxious, like hes going to forget about me or something. That would suck ass. But yeah, after canobie we're going to his house :D. How? I have noooo idea. But if we have to, we'll fricken swim across the river. I'm so determined to find that DDR mat if its the last thing I do. I'm like having withdrawals without it.:( I LOOOVE DDR!
Yeah so I thought about fish today. Kinda random, but hes been in tennessee for like 5 days and he hasn't called me? I guess he was pissed that I forgot what day he was leaving and we practically never hung out. But whatever.. its not like hes staying there forever. He'll be back in 3 months. But yeah thats kinda random.
Talk about random. Tj started talking to me again. So weird. We talked for a while on the phone the other night. Apparently he doesn't think too highly of jesse. What the hell does he know. Last night he stopped by and manipulated me into going for a drive with him because " we have to catch up"? On what? I really don't know. So I went for the ride just to spare him. That kid is the exact same as when we were together and honestly I find it pathetic. He says hes changed and he doesn't party anymore because "its getting so old" even though he spent atleast 15 minutes bragging about how smashed he was that day. So basically hes still lying too. Plus he looks terrible. He desperately needs to gain weight. Soo we drove around to auburn and had a cop on our ass like the whole time so he drove to sunset ridge and parked. He like tried to lean over and kiss me or something but I moved and like pushed him back. He kinda was taken by surprise like he expected me to go for it. He was like you must really like this kid huh? I'm like yeah I really do. Even though I wouldn't have kissed him even if I wasn't with jesse. Hes like oh well I had to try. And it totally hit me that all he wanted was to hook up with someone. Sure.. he brags about some "model-beautiful" blonde cheerleader which he was "dating". But they're done supposedly now. He doesn't have anyone.. hes lonely.. so whooo does he come running after? Me.. even though he broke up with me..? Hah well now he knows what he lost. Not that I'm much, but it feels good to reject him. Hes not even worth it. And I'm glad we never lasted.
Yeah well I miss jesse like whoa. But I'm not calling him again tonight. Considering its like 3 am. I learned not to call him after hes been really drunk last night. I got back from driving with Tj and I missed jesse even more. So I called him at like 12 30 or something. The kid didn't even know I was talking. Shitfaced as usual. I mean I <3 the kid but hes gonna kill his body. I can't wait to see him tomorrow. I'm looking forward to it so we better go. : )
Wellllll anjilla really wants to read this so I have to go. Plus I'm getting up early so I need some sleep. Btw sorry this entry is kinda everywhere. Its all mixed and weird. But yeahh hopefully I won't update tomorrow because I'll be at Jesse's<33333.
Goodnight