i dont have any tears left
today i finally told duff what ive been thinking about for a while. hes been treating me like crap lately, and im sick and tired of it. i dont deserve to be treated like nothing. like i dont matter and that i can be pushed around like i have no feelings. his response was to hang up the phone on me... and what am i supposed to think of that? i dont want it to be over. i love him with all my heart, and he used to feel the same way. he used to want to spend every waking minute with me. i used to be his everything. but hes changed. he doesnt hold my hand anymore, or tell me he loves me. he doesnt come inside when he drops me off at night. he doesnt call me to say "hi" or "good morning" or "i miss you" anymore. he never "im's" me first, ever. he still means everything to me. i would do anything for him. all im asking is for some of his time. attention. love. energy. i though we'd be together for ever. anyone who has had their hearts broken can tell you how it feels. there is this deep pain running through my entire body. my head hurts from crying so much. i just wanna curl up and forget anything exists. i keep telling myself 'come on, hes 17. what did you expect'. he always acted older than he is. maybe now hes just acting his age. but thats still no reason to treat me like shit. its perfectly fine if he wants to hang out w/ his friends from time to time. but when i call him to invite him to family dinner, and he doesnt call back until 2 and a half hours later, and then says hes hanging out with the guys, when he sees 'the guys' every day at school, and can only see me on weekends. i dont know anymore. i dont know what else to think or say. dinner time. call me if anyone who reads this loves me.