Observations
I've been looking at the world lately and thinking.
Have you ever noticed that most romance novels are written by women for women? All of the men in my favorite authors' books are lost and confused about what they want in a woman. Suddenly, this not quite gorgeous young thing gets in his way, makes his life miserable and nearly gets him annihilated. Then, he falls in love with having to protect and keep her safe. The entire thing is preposterous and hysterical which is why I love them. But I start to wonder if I am looking for this kind of hero.
I'm fairly certain he doesn't exist. I think that all men mentally cheat on their women. To add to that, I think that at least half of them give in to their impulses and actually cheat. I used to think that car salesmen were scum because of the fidelity ratios I saw at the dealership. Now, working at an hourly job, I'm finding that the fidelity ratios are about the same. It's discouraging to see, and I start to feel like the proverbial cow giving milk away for free. On the flip side, it seems that the only men who want my milk are fat, short or stinky.
When I say nothing has changed in my realm, I mean it. I am still trying to decide what to do with my job. I am still watching my son grow. I am still awed every day by how far he has come. I am still waiting for the same man to call me about once every six weeks.
Yes, that's only wanting sex 8 times per year. Someone suggested that he is gay. Someone suggested that he isn't really all that into me. Someone suggested that I am just one of many. Someone suggested that he thinks he likes me too much and the time/distance is to make him feel like he is in control. It goes on and on. Everyone has suggestions. Everyone thinks I am nuts for continuing to answer his booty calls. Even he has slipped and called me a "crazy bitch." Maybe I just have a masochistic streak. I feel like an addict or a whore.
On the bright side, I've been better about keeping my secrets. No one knows for sure when or where the booty calls have been answered. No one knows what about those conversations or visits bothered or elated me.
Chandler thinks that man is my best friend. I didn't correct him, but that comment did make me think. I want a man to be my best friend and lover. I don't think that man wants to be my best friend. He doesn't seem to want to be. So, a booty call I will stay, for now...
Have you ever noticed that most romance novels are written by women for women? All of the men in my favorite authors' books are lost and confused about what they want in a woman. Suddenly, this not quite gorgeous young thing gets in his way, makes his life miserable and nearly gets him annihilated. Then, he falls in love with having to protect and keep her safe. The entire thing is preposterous and hysterical which is why I love them. But I start to wonder if I am looking for this kind of hero.
I'm fairly certain he doesn't exist. I think that all men mentally cheat on their women. To add to that, I think that at least half of them give in to their impulses and actually cheat. I used to think that car salesmen were scum because of the fidelity ratios I saw at the dealership. Now, working at an hourly job, I'm finding that the fidelity ratios are about the same. It's discouraging to see, and I start to feel like the proverbial cow giving milk away for free. On the flip side, it seems that the only men who want my milk are fat, short or stinky.
When I say nothing has changed in my realm, I mean it. I am still trying to decide what to do with my job. I am still watching my son grow. I am still awed every day by how far he has come. I am still waiting for the same man to call me about once every six weeks.
Yes, that's only wanting sex 8 times per year. Someone suggested that he is gay. Someone suggested that he isn't really all that into me. Someone suggested that I am just one of many. Someone suggested that he thinks he likes me too much and the time/distance is to make him feel like he is in control. It goes on and on. Everyone has suggestions. Everyone thinks I am nuts for continuing to answer his booty calls. Even he has slipped and called me a "crazy bitch." Maybe I just have a masochistic streak. I feel like an addict or a whore.
On the bright side, I've been better about keeping my secrets. No one knows for sure when or where the booty calls have been answered. No one knows what about those conversations or visits bothered or elated me.
Chandler thinks that man is my best friend. I didn't correct him, but that comment did make me think. I want a man to be my best friend and lover. I don't think that man wants to be my best friend. He doesn't seem to want to be. So, a booty call I will stay, for now...