Another true AstroSlam and some more stuff
Dear Lilly,
Here is your AstroSlam
for Tuesday, July 24:
You're saddened by the fact that no one in your life seems to know the real you -- but you can't really blame them, can you? You're the one who decided to lie about almost everything.
They say not to say anything if you can't say something nice. Is omitting the bad stuff really lying? Since Nuttmegg misses me, I'm assuming more people miss me but aren't saying anything. So, I'm going to spill my guts. It won't make me feel much better, but you'll see why I haven't said much.
I'm getting more and more freaked out about money as the month gets older. They say that if something goes wrong, it'll all go wrong. I'm feeling it right about now. My laptop hard drive is dead. In order to recover the information stored on it, I am going to have to take it to someone who can take it apart and recover the info from each disc. (Can we say, "A few hundred dollars"?) I need to replace the hard drive. I need to get more memory for the same laptop. However, before I can do that, I need to catch up on my rent, mortgage and car payment. I need to get my cable turned back on, and I need to have the air conditioner in my car repaired. In the meantime, I have been praying that the motor in my home's HVAC system lasts another year as it's been on it's last leg since I moved in. Oh, and just to add more fun to the party, I got pulled over last night for a cracked taillight, and the was ticketed for my registration that has been expired since January because I couldn't afford to pay for it.
My dad and siblings are struggling to pay their bills so they have no money to give. And, I can't ask for money from my friends because I have no idea when I could pay them back.
Yes, I have started looking for another job. Yes, I have a few things going that will earn money for me if I can find the time to do them.
On the bright side, Chandler is turning twelve in less than a week. He's growing again (eating everything in sight all day long). I am so proud of my son. He has become such a wonderful young man. He's courteous and caring to those around him.
I have no man at the moment. I've decided that I think I'm okay with it most days. I don't know.
Stress has turned me into a lunatic. I can't believe what I'm doing when I do it, but I do it anyway. I avoid showers some days because I don't want to be wet. I've been eating pickles and olives for meals. I will eat a huge plate or two of pasta and be starving an hour later. I slept on the couch for a few days because I didn't want to sleep in my bed. On most days, I can't sleep with the TV on, but for the last two weeks "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat" has been on continuous repeat in whatever DVD player I'm sleeping next to. I've tried the radio or CD which is my usual sleep inducer, and it just hasn't been doing it for me. Honestly, I am entirely sick of "Joseph" but I can't find anyone of my 1000 movies that interests me more. Did I mention that I feel like a lunatic?
Since I just want to crawl into a hole somewhere and cry now, I'll close this less than happy post. Pray for me to get this job that I want that I didn't mention because I don't want to jinx it. I'll try to post again soon with happier things.
Here is your AstroSlam
for Tuesday, July 24:
You're saddened by the fact that no one in your life seems to know the real you -- but you can't really blame them, can you? You're the one who decided to lie about almost everything.
They say not to say anything if you can't say something nice. Is omitting the bad stuff really lying? Since Nuttmegg misses me, I'm assuming more people miss me but aren't saying anything. So, I'm going to spill my guts. It won't make me feel much better, but you'll see why I haven't said much.
I'm getting more and more freaked out about money as the month gets older. They say that if something goes wrong, it'll all go wrong. I'm feeling it right about now. My laptop hard drive is dead. In order to recover the information stored on it, I am going to have to take it to someone who can take it apart and recover the info from each disc. (Can we say, "A few hundred dollars"?) I need to replace the hard drive. I need to get more memory for the same laptop. However, before I can do that, I need to catch up on my rent, mortgage and car payment. I need to get my cable turned back on, and I need to have the air conditioner in my car repaired. In the meantime, I have been praying that the motor in my home's HVAC system lasts another year as it's been on it's last leg since I moved in. Oh, and just to add more fun to the party, I got pulled over last night for a cracked taillight, and the was ticketed for my registration that has been expired since January because I couldn't afford to pay for it.
My dad and siblings are struggling to pay their bills so they have no money to give. And, I can't ask for money from my friends because I have no idea when I could pay them back.
Yes, I have started looking for another job. Yes, I have a few things going that will earn money for me if I can find the time to do them.
On the bright side, Chandler is turning twelve in less than a week. He's growing again (eating everything in sight all day long). I am so proud of my son. He has become such a wonderful young man. He's courteous and caring to those around him.
I have no man at the moment. I've decided that I think I'm okay with it most days. I don't know.
Stress has turned me into a lunatic. I can't believe what I'm doing when I do it, but I do it anyway. I avoid showers some days because I don't want to be wet. I've been eating pickles and olives for meals. I will eat a huge plate or two of pasta and be starving an hour later. I slept on the couch for a few days because I didn't want to sleep in my bed. On most days, I can't sleep with the TV on, but for the last two weeks "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat" has been on continuous repeat in whatever DVD player I'm sleeping next to. I've tried the radio or CD which is my usual sleep inducer, and it just hasn't been doing it for me. Honestly, I am entirely sick of "Joseph" but I can't find anyone of my 1000 movies that interests me more. Did I mention that I feel like a lunatic?
Since I just want to crawl into a hole somewhere and cry now, I'll close this less than happy post. Pray for me to get this job that I want that I didn't mention because I don't want to jinx it. I'll try to post again soon with happier things.