Where do we go when we die?

[lilorangina]

I feel so lost and deflated. I can't believe that two and half weeks ago, I lost my hero, my mentor, my best friend, I dare say, one of my soul mates. Where is all of that passion? Where is all of that joy? Where did he go? Dad can't just be gone like that...can he

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[ext_3674]

It's unbelievable. The sun still shines. How does the sun shine when the world has ended? The grass is still a vibrant green. Can colors that bright be real? People still are in stores and walking along the street going about their business as though nothing happened. How can they?

You expect to see him come around the corner at any time.

You see something and think, "Dad would like that. I will have to tell him about it." and then you remember that you can't just call him up anymore.

You see kids with their fathers, or your friends talk casually about asking their dads for something, and it feels like they are doing it just to be cruel and make you jealous of what they have and you don't.

It's probably little consolation now, but someone told me once that although the pain never goes away, it becomes more bearable with time, and he was right. The raw, burning pain turns into an ache; the ache gets duller. With time, it becomes one of those dull pains that's always there but you're used to it, and it doesn't keep you from functioning normally, and if you're focused on something else you might not notice it for a while.

For what it's worth, I believe your dad will be able to watch over you and even offer guidance even better now, because he won't have physical limitations of distance. It may be a little while 'til he gets used to his new situation and figures out how to do things, but he'll still be there for you. If there is anything I can do, like be another shoulder to cry on, just call me. If you don't have my new number, ask Kim for it.