doof
my aunt's wake was on sunday. open casket and all. I nearly puked as I entered the room. there was way too much black and there was definitly a mutsy smell. everyone was all depressed and morbid, I couldn't take it. on top of that, my grandmother gave me a hard time about not going up the the coffin with my family to pay our respects. that made me feel awful. I just can't do that kind of stuff, it makes me queasy. it also brings up to many questions about our purpose on earth and what is reality, and that hurts my brain. my grandfather was pretty broken up. he practically collapsed into me when I hugged him. the only other time I've ever seen him like that is when his car got totalled by a Coca Cola truck. it was quite unsettling. my dad's pretty shaken as well. he hasn't been himself in a long time, but it is esspecially evident now. I despise funerals. what a way to start a week, right?
today was allright. felt kinda lousy at the beginning of the day though. i turned a friend of mine down when he asked me to be his date for homecoming. though I don't regret my reply, I wish that he weren't as hurt as I made him. knowing you lowered someone's self esteem really really sucks. had fun in cross country chilling out in the training room. couldn't go to wacky wing wednesday cuz I had too much to do, but there's always next week.
does anyone else ever feel like there is something substantial missing from your lives? I've been feeling that way lately, and I don't know why. it's weird, actually. there's something absent from me, but I can't put my finger on it.
how come nobody comments on my livejournal??? jeez people, am I just chatting away to myself? if I wanted to do that, I would write in my diary, not online.
today was allright. felt kinda lousy at the beginning of the day though. i turned a friend of mine down when he asked me to be his date for homecoming. though I don't regret my reply, I wish that he weren't as hurt as I made him. knowing you lowered someone's self esteem really really sucks. had fun in cross country chilling out in the training room. couldn't go to wacky wing wednesday cuz I had too much to do, but there's always next week.
does anyone else ever feel like there is something substantial missing from your lives? I've been feeling that way lately, and I don't know why. it's weird, actually. there's something absent from me, but I can't put my finger on it.
how come nobody comments on my livejournal??? jeez people, am I just chatting away to myself? if I wanted to do that, I would write in my diary, not online.