(no subject)
So today i'm in a rather thoughtful mood and it seems like i'm not the only one. Charity and I have been talking on and off in between mods ever since the first GSA meeting. It's nothing that's a big deal or anything. Haven't even had a conversation with real meaning to it that didn't pertain to the GSA. But it feels good to not think she hates me. I'm just worried about problems being created. I'm not trying to build a friendship with Charity. I'm trying not to. I'm not trying anything. I'm just letting things go as they please.
I am trying to work on trusting people and letting people back into my life. I'm working on forgiveness at the same time. I told Corey I wanted to talk to him later today. To see if I can try to realize his point of view better. Who knows how that will go. I am quite proud of myself for doing that though because my stubborn ass really wanted to just leave things as they were. But i knew Corey was sorry and that it hurt him so i had to try to see if things were fixable.
The past has been on my mind a lot lately. But not my past, Ona's past. Shannon, Kayla, what if this, what if that. I'm just afraid of losing her so my mind goes nuts. It does this every once in a while. It calms down eventually though. its just been a little more persistent lately. *sigh*
i really need to get my ass on track in school. i've been slacking way too much. I very rarely get homework in most of my classes so doing everything well is a little more important than i'm making it out to be. I failed two classes this marking period. I tried with them, but i gave up because it was too much of a struggle. I realize I need to be more persistent when it gets tough. I have spent the last two days 8th mod in the library working on my research paper for Mr. Hannagan. I need that grade. so maybe i'll suceed in pulling my head out of my ass and do really well the next three marking periods. I've looked at different scholarship programs over the last couple of days as well. There are some that don't seem too bad as far as my chances. I dont' know. i'll look into them more once i get my grades up. i just odn't know where i want to go anymore.. *sigh*
I think i'm going to go now. I'm talking to my angel and thats far more important that livejournal.
-Ashley
Nicole-
*i love you Ona*
I am trying to work on trusting people and letting people back into my life. I'm working on forgiveness at the same time. I told Corey I wanted to talk to him later today. To see if I can try to realize his point of view better. Who knows how that will go. I am quite proud of myself for doing that though because my stubborn ass really wanted to just leave things as they were. But i knew Corey was sorry and that it hurt him so i had to try to see if things were fixable.
The past has been on my mind a lot lately. But not my past, Ona's past. Shannon, Kayla, what if this, what if that. I'm just afraid of losing her so my mind goes nuts. It does this every once in a while. It calms down eventually though. its just been a little more persistent lately. *sigh*
i really need to get my ass on track in school. i've been slacking way too much. I very rarely get homework in most of my classes so doing everything well is a little more important than i'm making it out to be. I failed two classes this marking period. I tried with them, but i gave up because it was too much of a struggle. I realize I need to be more persistent when it gets tough. I have spent the last two days 8th mod in the library working on my research paper for Mr. Hannagan. I need that grade. so maybe i'll suceed in pulling my head out of my ass and do really well the next three marking periods. I've looked at different scholarship programs over the last couple of days as well. There are some that don't seem too bad as far as my chances. I dont' know. i'll look into them more once i get my grades up. i just odn't know where i want to go anymore.. *sigh*
I think i'm going to go now. I'm talking to my angel and thats far more important that livejournal.
-Ashley
Nicole-
*i love you Ona*