a note of interest
i am actually taking the time to make an lj post (the first in a very long time). it just sucks that it has to be about something of this nature...
most of you are aware of the situation i'm currently dealing with. rei has been acting very strange lately and i think most of it is because he has an attraction for me which i do NOT have back. i have informed him several times now that this inhumane way he is going about things is causing major problems and leaves myself and eric with a great deal of stress. luckily, eric and my relationship is strong enough to survive a hit like this. that doesn't change the severity of rei's actions. he is intent on making me act on feeling that i do NOT have. since i considered him a really good, true friend... all of this comes as a shock and extremely hurts.
recently, rei had made comments in one of his posts referring to this situation. reaching the point where silence was no longer an option, i commented on his post. he has since deleted my comments and his replies. to me, that shows a sense that he knows he is doing things wrong here and is possibly ashamed of this to a point where he doesn't want my response to be public. he has already told people that eric and i are broken up and that i am currently dating him. this being false could be a reason for my comments deletion. he doesn't want people to figure this out but is unaware that everyone pretty much already has.
he continues to make reference to this all as a "game." he is drawing parallels from my previous journal (lilneonboi.easyjournal.com) in an attempt to support his cause. i gather that he is "mis-reading" my old entries and interpreting them in such a way that my all of my "unrequited love" posts were about him. this is NOT true. the majority of them were about domenic with a few possibly being about chett. i have been over those situations for 2 years now. why he has decided to bring them up is beyond me.
i wanted to let everyone read my comments to make public record that i in no way want anything to do with him anymore. i do NOT consider him a friend and he actually scares me. i'm posting my comments here and will also be spamming them in a myspace bulletin to get the word out. I REFUSE TO PLAY THIS GAME!!! i also ask any of you in contact with him to let your viewpoints known on the fact. the more people that tell him that his actions of late are not normal, the better chance he has of finally understanding.
i'm asking all of you for help in dealing with this matter. i rarely get scared or care about things of this nature but this one is really getting to me. please lend me all of the support you can.
thank you,
co-d (chiken)
comment posted on rei's lj yesterday with follow-up reply
----------------------------------------------------------
lets get some things straight
i accept the fact that you like me. that's fine. you can't help who you like. you can go ahead and think me your soul mate or whatever. what i can't accept is the way you are going about things.
if you think that you can win me over by using threatening information you're wrong. if you think that i'm all of a sudden going to part with the person i've spent 2.5 HAPPY years with all because you've come to some great realization -- you're wrong. if you think that lying to kenna and telling her that Eric and I are broken up and that I'm currently dating you and looking up at the same stars as you and whatnot b.s. is going to help your lost cause -- you're wrong. if you think i don't like being called "chiken" -- you're wrong. if you think you know who i am and what i want -- you're wrong.
all you are doing is hurting yourself. you seem to be stuck in some rut where you think i'm the saving grace and i'm sorry to tell you but i'm not. YOUR FRIENDS ARE WORRIED ABOUT YOU!!!! nobody knows what's wrong with you and you are too stubborn to let your guard down and have a truthful conversation with anybody. you're burning soo many bridges and its close to the point where alot of those bridges are gonna remain down for good.
as a friend -- i'm sorry i can't be what you want me to be. in my heart i just don't feel the same for you as you do for me. that's the honest to god's truth. and after all of this... i don't even think we can remain friends and that really really hurts. tremendously. i cared for you alot.... you've been there for me when i needed you... we've had some awesome times together... so i really just can't fathom why you had to go about this in the way you are. PEOPLE DO NOT ACT LIKE THIS.
if there is any of the REI in you that i used to know, and liked, you will please please please prevent this mess from growing any farther than it already has. please also talk to someone who can help you -- and don't lie to them. lying doesn't make problems go away -- it adds to them. talk to someone who can give you the advice you need to get yourself through this -- to get yourself back together.
i'm done playing dr. phil here just like i'm done with this whole fiasco. i wish you the best...
--------------follow-up reply------------------------
conflicting information -- no idea what you are talking about. i've made my stance on this subject very clear. i'm HAPPY with whom I'm with. Nothing will change that. i haven't responded to your msgs until now because i was hoping you would wake up and realize how much un-needed stress you are causing us. as far as my actions in person--- the only time i have seen you in person was that night we went to neil's diner. apparently you thought we had some unspoken conversation the whole night based on my facial reactions or something... news for you -- that entire evening i was trying to figure out what the hell happened to you because you were totally different and actually very scary...
friends-- i'm thinking some people just don't have the guts to tell you that the way you are handling this situation is entirely fucked. also, telling brix that you know me better than anyone and know what i want (i saw your msgs that you SENT her on HER pc so don't deny it) is completely false. if anyone in this world is my "rock" its brix. always has been, always will be. she's my absolute best friend... not you
i don't care what "version" of kenna you are talking about. i heard about your conversation with her and even if it was paraphrased or anything... you saying anything similiar shows how deluded you really are right now.
i remember everything about the "sora hearts" night. EVERYTHING including why you slept on the floor. so don't think you know something i don't. you obviously got mixed signals on that one. but thats what happens when you deal with drunks.
and as for this "threatening information..." i'm 90percent positive i know what you are talking about. i've known about that since two days after it happened. it's in the past and can stay there.
you will not have a face-to-face conversation with me. probably not ever at this point. i asked you to drop it and you haven't. if you want to spend the rest of your life miserable because you can't be with me then that's your perogative. i'd hope you'd be smarter than that but whatever. but just to make myself very clear...
i have no attraction to you -- i have no desire to ever "be" with you -- at this point in time i do not even consider us friends anymore -- sorry but the cookie crumbled...
most of you are aware of the situation i'm currently dealing with. rei has been acting very strange lately and i think most of it is because he has an attraction for me which i do NOT have back. i have informed him several times now that this inhumane way he is going about things is causing major problems and leaves myself and eric with a great deal of stress. luckily, eric and my relationship is strong enough to survive a hit like this. that doesn't change the severity of rei's actions. he is intent on making me act on feeling that i do NOT have. since i considered him a really good, true friend... all of this comes as a shock and extremely hurts.
recently, rei had made comments in one of his posts referring to this situation. reaching the point where silence was no longer an option, i commented on his post. he has since deleted my comments and his replies. to me, that shows a sense that he knows he is doing things wrong here and is possibly ashamed of this to a point where he doesn't want my response to be public. he has already told people that eric and i are broken up and that i am currently dating him. this being false could be a reason for my comments deletion. he doesn't want people to figure this out but is unaware that everyone pretty much already has.
he continues to make reference to this all as a "game." he is drawing parallels from my previous journal (lilneonboi.easyjournal.com) in an attempt to support his cause. i gather that he is "mis-reading" my old entries and interpreting them in such a way that my all of my "unrequited love" posts were about him. this is NOT true. the majority of them were about domenic with a few possibly being about chett. i have been over those situations for 2 years now. why he has decided to bring them up is beyond me.
i wanted to let everyone read my comments to make public record that i in no way want anything to do with him anymore. i do NOT consider him a friend and he actually scares me. i'm posting my comments here and will also be spamming them in a myspace bulletin to get the word out. I REFUSE TO PLAY THIS GAME!!! i also ask any of you in contact with him to let your viewpoints known on the fact. the more people that tell him that his actions of late are not normal, the better chance he has of finally understanding.
i'm asking all of you for help in dealing with this matter. i rarely get scared or care about things of this nature but this one is really getting to me. please lend me all of the support you can.
thank you,
co-d (chiken)
comment posted on rei's lj yesterday with follow-up reply
----------------------------------------------------------
lets get some things straight
i accept the fact that you like me. that's fine. you can't help who you like. you can go ahead and think me your soul mate or whatever. what i can't accept is the way you are going about things.
if you think that you can win me over by using threatening information you're wrong. if you think that i'm all of a sudden going to part with the person i've spent 2.5 HAPPY years with all because you've come to some great realization -- you're wrong. if you think that lying to kenna and telling her that Eric and I are broken up and that I'm currently dating you and looking up at the same stars as you and whatnot b.s. is going to help your lost cause -- you're wrong. if you think i don't like being called "chiken" -- you're wrong. if you think you know who i am and what i want -- you're wrong.
all you are doing is hurting yourself. you seem to be stuck in some rut where you think i'm the saving grace and i'm sorry to tell you but i'm not. YOUR FRIENDS ARE WORRIED ABOUT YOU!!!! nobody knows what's wrong with you and you are too stubborn to let your guard down and have a truthful conversation with anybody. you're burning soo many bridges and its close to the point where alot of those bridges are gonna remain down for good.
as a friend -- i'm sorry i can't be what you want me to be. in my heart i just don't feel the same for you as you do for me. that's the honest to god's truth. and after all of this... i don't even think we can remain friends and that really really hurts. tremendously. i cared for you alot.... you've been there for me when i needed you... we've had some awesome times together... so i really just can't fathom why you had to go about this in the way you are. PEOPLE DO NOT ACT LIKE THIS.
if there is any of the REI in you that i used to know, and liked, you will please please please prevent this mess from growing any farther than it already has. please also talk to someone who can help you -- and don't lie to them. lying doesn't make problems go away -- it adds to them. talk to someone who can give you the advice you need to get yourself through this -- to get yourself back together.
i'm done playing dr. phil here just like i'm done with this whole fiasco. i wish you the best...
--------------follow-up reply------------------------
conflicting information -- no idea what you are talking about. i've made my stance on this subject very clear. i'm HAPPY with whom I'm with. Nothing will change that. i haven't responded to your msgs until now because i was hoping you would wake up and realize how much un-needed stress you are causing us. as far as my actions in person--- the only time i have seen you in person was that night we went to neil's diner. apparently you thought we had some unspoken conversation the whole night based on my facial reactions or something... news for you -- that entire evening i was trying to figure out what the hell happened to you because you were totally different and actually very scary...
friends-- i'm thinking some people just don't have the guts to tell you that the way you are handling this situation is entirely fucked. also, telling brix that you know me better than anyone and know what i want (i saw your msgs that you SENT her on HER pc so don't deny it) is completely false. if anyone in this world is my "rock" its brix. always has been, always will be. she's my absolute best friend... not you
i don't care what "version" of kenna you are talking about. i heard about your conversation with her and even if it was paraphrased or anything... you saying anything similiar shows how deluded you really are right now.
i remember everything about the "sora hearts" night. EVERYTHING including why you slept on the floor. so don't think you know something i don't. you obviously got mixed signals on that one. but thats what happens when you deal with drunks.
and as for this "threatening information..." i'm 90percent positive i know what you are talking about. i've known about that since two days after it happened. it's in the past and can stay there.
you will not have a face-to-face conversation with me. probably not ever at this point. i asked you to drop it and you haven't. if you want to spend the rest of your life miserable because you can't be with me then that's your perogative. i'd hope you'd be smarter than that but whatever. but just to make myself very clear...
i have no attraction to you -- i have no desire to ever "be" with you -- at this point in time i do not even consider us friends anymore -- sorry but the cookie crumbled...