(no subject)
Here it is.. end of August and time's flying by quick.
I've managed to get off pills all on my own since nobody gave a fuck to support me. Minus Tiffany. My family would of, but I never wanted them to find out. I've basically got a whole new set of friends, and for that I'm grateful. Anna Brittney Grant Chellie and that crew showed me the perks to just drinking. I would say I have more money but I got a check stolen for $120. The more you give to people the more they take.. w/o your permission even. I can't decide whether I want to press charges on Brandon, because he would go to jail for 4 years. Kevin and I are on the up and up and I'd hate to do that to their family. But if you do the crime.. you better be prepared to do the time. Dont' fuck with my family when we're already on the verge of falling apart.
I hate pills. Hate hate hate them. Nothing good comes out of them. Jail, institutions, and death. I learned that from a NA meeting I attended with Jessa. God I've missed her so much. I don't have many childhood memories w/o her in them.She's doing sooooo good and little Nemo is just precious. Her family needed him, and I'm glad he's here and healthy. She graduated rehab, got full custody, and her own place and van in Knoxville. I wish she was here. I miss my other best friend, and I wish she would of supported me more when I cried out for help on her birthday. I didn't want to do it, b/c I have a lot of pride and don't need help a lot of the time but I needed it and it wasn't received. I thought the title of "Aunt" was going to go farther than it did. I put in so much effort going to the Dr every time I could.. playing Daddy before he was ready to... then I didn't get to be in the room when he came into the world. I wanted to be there for multiple reasons. I was ok with that because I thought I'd at least get to throw my shower for my little lion that came out to be a crab since I have all the decorations me and Kev opened and set the kitchen up as Collegewood to practice. Can't take them back. Should of waited. I think of them every day and hope everything is going great for their family. God knows I love them.
Kevin and I have drastically changed in the past 3 days. He's became a totally different person that texts me just to tell me that he loves me.. even as far to say he does with all of his soul and more than he ever did Christina. He admitted to being scared and running away, and he also agreed to actually put a real effort into quitting pills. i might be stupid as hell, but I love him and my faith is almost unlimited when it comes to Kevin Michael Miller. I know you should listen to your brain over your heart, but at least I can say at one point I was happy with him. I had sex with 3 other people, once with Crum so he does not count and that hurt him. Alot. And we're working past all of the fucked up shit we've done to each other and trying to start anew.
School starts in a couple of days. Last class and I can not wait. Making an A. It's my personal goal.
Went to Bristol and had a hell of time with my family. Me Bubba Jason Karen and My parents got druuuuuuuunk. We rode the bull which is something I'll NEVER forget it was so fun. Daddy did the best of course. Shrek came up and I went to the race with him and my parents sat with Bubba in the non alcoholic section. Ha. That was an accident. We took Montana and Lucy and Montana was definetly a celebrity. We walked about 28,000 miles and my mom puked. Karen pissed her pants. P&P according to daddy. Pissy and Pukey. I love it. I drank liquor and got drunk as fuck. I held my own though.
I'm getting burnt out on Akita. I'm ready to get a real job. I thought about going to be a surgery tech but I'd have to go to Knoxville. i'd like to move with Kevin and get him the hell out of here and away from all these pill heads. I also learned at NA not go refer back to old play mates or play grounds. & we have too many of both here. Temptation is strong. Who knows what will happen in my life, but I hope to manage to find a way to be successful and healthy.
I've managed to get off pills all on my own since nobody gave a fuck to support me. Minus Tiffany. My family would of, but I never wanted them to find out. I've basically got a whole new set of friends, and for that I'm grateful. Anna Brittney Grant Chellie and that crew showed me the perks to just drinking. I would say I have more money but I got a check stolen for $120. The more you give to people the more they take.. w/o your permission even. I can't decide whether I want to press charges on Brandon, because he would go to jail for 4 years. Kevin and I are on the up and up and I'd hate to do that to their family. But if you do the crime.. you better be prepared to do the time. Dont' fuck with my family when we're already on the verge of falling apart.
I hate pills. Hate hate hate them. Nothing good comes out of them. Jail, institutions, and death. I learned that from a NA meeting I attended with Jessa. God I've missed her so much. I don't have many childhood memories w/o her in them.She's doing sooooo good and little Nemo is just precious. Her family needed him, and I'm glad he's here and healthy. She graduated rehab, got full custody, and her own place and van in Knoxville. I wish she was here. I miss my other best friend, and I wish she would of supported me more when I cried out for help on her birthday. I didn't want to do it, b/c I have a lot of pride and don't need help a lot of the time but I needed it and it wasn't received. I thought the title of "Aunt" was going to go farther than it did. I put in so much effort going to the Dr every time I could.. playing Daddy before he was ready to... then I didn't get to be in the room when he came into the world. I wanted to be there for multiple reasons. I was ok with that because I thought I'd at least get to throw my shower for my little lion that came out to be a crab since I have all the decorations me and Kev opened and set the kitchen up as Collegewood to practice. Can't take them back. Should of waited. I think of them every day and hope everything is going great for their family. God knows I love them.
Kevin and I have drastically changed in the past 3 days. He's became a totally different person that texts me just to tell me that he loves me.. even as far to say he does with all of his soul and more than he ever did Christina. He admitted to being scared and running away, and he also agreed to actually put a real effort into quitting pills. i might be stupid as hell, but I love him and my faith is almost unlimited when it comes to Kevin Michael Miller. I know you should listen to your brain over your heart, but at least I can say at one point I was happy with him. I had sex with 3 other people, once with Crum so he does not count and that hurt him. Alot. And we're working past all of the fucked up shit we've done to each other and trying to start anew.
School starts in a couple of days. Last class and I can not wait. Making an A. It's my personal goal.
Went to Bristol and had a hell of time with my family. Me Bubba Jason Karen and My parents got druuuuuuuunk. We rode the bull which is something I'll NEVER forget it was so fun. Daddy did the best of course. Shrek came up and I went to the race with him and my parents sat with Bubba in the non alcoholic section. Ha. That was an accident. We took Montana and Lucy and Montana was definetly a celebrity. We walked about 28,000 miles and my mom puked. Karen pissed her pants. P&P according to daddy. Pissy and Pukey. I love it. I drank liquor and got drunk as fuck. I held my own though.
I'm getting burnt out on Akita. I'm ready to get a real job. I thought about going to be a surgery tech but I'd have to go to Knoxville. i'd like to move with Kevin and get him the hell out of here and away from all these pill heads. I also learned at NA not go refer back to old play mates or play grounds. & we have too many of both here. Temptation is strong. Who knows what will happen in my life, but I hope to manage to find a way to be successful and healthy.