(no subject)
1) Why is G'ma hanging on?
Once I think Mumsie finds peace (if that's even possible) G'ma will let go & be with her Savior. That's very exciting to me. It's extremely sad but I'm trying to look at the bigger picture of life. My friends keep on telling me 'if you wanna talk call me.' I appreciate it & all but I just wonder how well they know me then. I'm not gonna call. If I were to (it'd mean I was desperate) it would be to Joslyn or Amanda. I'm totally stressed out. My asthma has been acting up too. It's cuz I'm keeping a lot of my emotions in. It's almost like I'm numb to what's going on in my life. G'ma's room is quarintined. She is going the bathroom in her bed. She's a mess. She is on 3 pain killers morphine, dialitia, & perocet. We're not even aloud to see her really. She is so far gone (mentally) its like 10x worse than Mumsie when she's in Jeannie Land full force. G'ma says we're a bunch of lying whores. G'paw gave her aids. Something about a radio being too loud. There is a man in her ceiling. etc. She's definitely not the same G'ma I know. She does know who people are though...for now. Who knows what's comes next. Gotta laugh. G'ma even told Mumsie 'why don't we get a room together & die together so we don't have to be a burden anymore to anyone.' *sighs*
One of the last things Trin told me was 'good luck dealing with G'ma & Mumsie.' I don't need luck I need more faith. I make time pass by reading. It keeps my mind off of life. I'm very thankful that I could have fun with James on Saturday. He emailed me & said if I needed to call him I could that he's always here for me. I'm in a vunerable position right now (past 2 weeks). I'm not even think about him right now I can't. I'm just happy he's around. Keep on praying, relying on God, trusting Him cuz He has a Plan for My life!
Once I think Mumsie finds peace (if that's even possible) G'ma will let go & be with her Savior. That's very exciting to me. It's extremely sad but I'm trying to look at the bigger picture of life. My friends keep on telling me 'if you wanna talk call me.' I appreciate it & all but I just wonder how well they know me then. I'm not gonna call. If I were to (it'd mean I was desperate) it would be to Joslyn or Amanda. I'm totally stressed out. My asthma has been acting up too. It's cuz I'm keeping a lot of my emotions in. It's almost like I'm numb to what's going on in my life. G'ma's room is quarintined. She is going the bathroom in her bed. She's a mess. She is on 3 pain killers morphine, dialitia, & perocet. We're not even aloud to see her really. She is so far gone (mentally) its like 10x worse than Mumsie when she's in Jeannie Land full force. G'ma says we're a bunch of lying whores. G'paw gave her aids. Something about a radio being too loud. There is a man in her ceiling. etc. She's definitely not the same G'ma I know. She does know who people are though...for now. Who knows what's comes next. Gotta laugh. G'ma even told Mumsie 'why don't we get a room together & die together so we don't have to be a burden anymore to anyone.' *sighs*
One of the last things Trin told me was 'good luck dealing with G'ma & Mumsie.' I don't need luck I need more faith. I make time pass by reading. It keeps my mind off of life. I'm very thankful that I could have fun with James on Saturday. He emailed me & said if I needed to call him I could that he's always here for me. I'm in a vunerable position right now (past 2 weeks). I'm not even think about him right now I can't. I'm just happy he's around. Keep on praying, relying on God, trusting Him cuz He has a Plan for My life!