I miss you.

Feb 29, 2004 22:03

Last night, while intoxicated, i wanted to listen to Avril Lavigne. And it was in my cd player this morning so i put it on while i was assembling my new bed. (bunk bed with futon on bottom. good for guests!)
It made me so sad. The way i used to link the words with certain situations and it took me right back. And i needed to be in america. recently i havent needed to rely and talking to you in america as often because im doing ok now. But i was so sad. i felt like i was in my room at Parrish Hill. But i was 3000 miles away from my family and my friends and my friends who are my family. And even when i came online i saw laurens screen name and that upset me because ive drifted so far from my Sunshine! I havent spoken to Erin properly since a year tomorrow. tomorrow itll have been a year since i was last in america.
I'm not what i used to be to you. i know im not. and i cant be there because im needed here. ur all okay without me. and although that would usually make someone sad, i couldnt be happier. because i havent ruined anyones life. we move on.
i have killed peter. i have made him dead. and he said it.
and still nothing changes in the way i think even though some boy is sitting on a bridge now wishing he was dead. oh my god
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