5 Smart Ass Answers
These are too funny not to post . . . enjoy! : )
Smart-Ass Answer #5
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate
to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended
her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat
and flashed her. Without missing a beat, she said,
"Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub."
Smart-Ass Answer #4
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the
grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for
her family. She asked a butcher, "Do these turkeys
get any bigger?" The butcher replied, "No, ma'am,
they're dead."
Smart-Ass Answer #3
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped
for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been
waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid
replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid
on his way without a ticket.
Smart-Ass Answer #2
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A
sign comes up that reads 'Low Bridge Ahead'. Before
he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he
gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for
miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets
out of his car and walks around to the truck driver,
puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?"
The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this
bridge and ran out of gas."
Smart-Ass Answer #1 -- The SMART-ASS ANSWER OF THE
YEAR
"THE TEACHER"
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's
final exam. "Now, Class, I won't tolerate any excuses
for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a
nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or
illness, or a death in your immediate family but
that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!" A smart-ass
guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asks,
"What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering
from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The
entire class does its best to stifle their laughter
and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher
smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her
head, and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to
write the exam with your other hand."
Smart-Ass Answer #5
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate
to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended
her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat
and flashed her. Without missing a beat, she said,
"Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub."
Smart-Ass Answer #4
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the
grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for
her family. She asked a butcher, "Do these turkeys
get any bigger?" The butcher replied, "No, ma'am,
they're dead."
Smart-Ass Answer #3
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped
for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been
waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid
replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid
on his way without a ticket.
Smart-Ass Answer #2
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A
sign comes up that reads 'Low Bridge Ahead'. Before
he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he
gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for
miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets
out of his car and walks around to the truck driver,
puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?"
The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this
bridge and ran out of gas."
Smart-Ass Answer #1 -- The SMART-ASS ANSWER OF THE
YEAR
"THE TEACHER"
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's
final exam. "Now, Class, I won't tolerate any excuses
for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a
nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or
illness, or a death in your immediate family but
that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!" A smart-ass
guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asks,
"What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering
from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The
entire class does its best to stifle their laughter
and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher
smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her
head, and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to
write the exam with your other hand."