so.... close....
Finally this week is coming to an end, and yet, it almost seems like it will never arrive.
I think I have reached breaking point. My level of stress has sky rocketed in the last four days. It seems that life has been hurling obstacles in my way, and if I really was a mouse, I think one has just squashed my tail. I suddenly realized that I know what Atlas must have felt like as he carried the world on his back. It's sort of like in cartoons where there's some little guy who's holding up all this stuff and his knees are starting to buckle and a big "Uh oh" appears over his head. All this stress is weighing me down and I'm not sure how much more of it I can take. I'm feeling a lot better health wise. I'm not as physically exhausted as I was yesterday. My stomach is doing horrible though and I wonder if it's because of all the meds. What I wouldn't give for some saltines right now. Thankfully I've finished five out of six papers and I'm halfway done with the last paper. I have three exams tomorrow, which I am getting more and more nervous about. I have the feeling that I will not be able to study for Spanish, and although I'm not too bad with it, I am sure that I will not to as well as I hope I would. Chem is going to be murder. I think I'm giving myself an ulcer just thinking about it. Which just leaves History. I'm not really worried about it, I've been doing well throughout the semester, but there still is a lot of information.
I have this sinking feeling that I keep saying the wrong things at the wrong time. I keep hearing that it's okay but I don't know if I believe it. I don't know if I can believe it. Every time I open my mouth, it seems, I bring more worries to myself and to others. Once again I can only help but feel that my relationship is being destructive. I feel that opportunities have been missed and that friendships aren't what they used to be. I never wanted there to have to be a choice between work and me or friends and me, although somewhere, whether we knew it or not, it happened. This may sound horribly selfish of me. In the back of my mind I always suspected that this may happen. I tried to tell myself that it wasn't true. of course things don't usually work out the way I'd like them to. This is another dark cloud that is hanging over me. I keep glancing up waiting for the inevitable bolt of lightning to strike. It seems that it is only a matter of time.
I think I have reached breaking point. My level of stress has sky rocketed in the last four days. It seems that life has been hurling obstacles in my way, and if I really was a mouse, I think one has just squashed my tail. I suddenly realized that I know what Atlas must have felt like as he carried the world on his back. It's sort of like in cartoons where there's some little guy who's holding up all this stuff and his knees are starting to buckle and a big "Uh oh" appears over his head. All this stress is weighing me down and I'm not sure how much more of it I can take. I'm feeling a lot better health wise. I'm not as physically exhausted as I was yesterday. My stomach is doing horrible though and I wonder if it's because of all the meds. What I wouldn't give for some saltines right now. Thankfully I've finished five out of six papers and I'm halfway done with the last paper. I have three exams tomorrow, which I am getting more and more nervous about. I have the feeling that I will not be able to study for Spanish, and although I'm not too bad with it, I am sure that I will not to as well as I hope I would. Chem is going to be murder. I think I'm giving myself an ulcer just thinking about it. Which just leaves History. I'm not really worried about it, I've been doing well throughout the semester, but there still is a lot of information.
I have this sinking feeling that I keep saying the wrong things at the wrong time. I keep hearing that it's okay but I don't know if I believe it. I don't know if I can believe it. Every time I open my mouth, it seems, I bring more worries to myself and to others. Once again I can only help but feel that my relationship is being destructive. I feel that opportunities have been missed and that friendships aren't what they used to be. I never wanted there to have to be a choice between work and me or friends and me, although somewhere, whether we knew it or not, it happened. This may sound horribly selfish of me. In the back of my mind I always suspected that this may happen. I tried to tell myself that it wasn't true. of course things don't usually work out the way I'd like them to. This is another dark cloud that is hanging over me. I keep glancing up waiting for the inevitable bolt of lightning to strike. It seems that it is only a matter of time.