Unbreaking My Heart
So I told him how I felt. I told him why I haven't been as clingy as before. I finally spilled and I ended up crying myself to sleep last night. I'm guessing he took it to heart. I think he may have finally realized that I am hurt by things that happens and he has also realized that I have fragile heart and he needs to be a little more careful. That's what I got when I saw him today. I bought him a drink from Burger King and he went inside for a moment then came back out. He kept bragging to everyone that I'm his future baby momma.. (Uh what?!) And then he hugged me for a while, bragging about how I'm a wonderful person, a good girl.. It made me feel so good...
I don't know, I feel something different after I spilled my feelings. I mean, I did send him a 9 page text message yesterday. xD How pathetic, I know, but I can't tell people how I feel to their face. I always have to write it in some long ass explanation... I have no clarity when I speak. When I can see the words on paper, I can make sure that is what I want to say, how to say, and its effects if I said it. *Shrugs* I need to get over that if I want to be a lawyer... I'm working on it... I swear. Everytime I read that message I sent him, I cry. I don't know.. but I have read it 6 times and I ball more and more each time. It's odd. Maybe it is because I have held these feelings in so long that everytime I read how I have been feeling, it just.. smacks me in the face? Who knows.
It's almost time.. Everytime I drive by NC, it draws closer and it causes me to have a meltdown. Not that fact that I'm going back to school, but the fact that I'm almost grown, I'm about to finish highschool, I'm about to step out into the world by myself, making my own decisions, good or bad, I'm so close to walking down that isle and receiving that diploma "LaShaundra Helena Marie Bridges" ... I'm done. I made it. When they drew so close to kicking me out of school, I made it. I can't wait... *smiles* I can't wait..
Soon, I close the door to my teenage years and open the door to my future. The time starts now. This year determines if I make it into the Business School. This year determines if I am a sophomore in college without having to take all those classes again. This year means more to me than any other year in my life. I'm ready... Let's start the year off right...
I don't know, I feel something different after I spilled my feelings. I mean, I did send him a 9 page text message yesterday. xD How pathetic, I know, but I can't tell people how I feel to their face. I always have to write it in some long ass explanation... I have no clarity when I speak. When I can see the words on paper, I can make sure that is what I want to say, how to say, and its effects if I said it. *Shrugs* I need to get over that if I want to be a lawyer... I'm working on it... I swear. Everytime I read that message I sent him, I cry. I don't know.. but I have read it 6 times and I ball more and more each time. It's odd. Maybe it is because I have held these feelings in so long that everytime I read how I have been feeling, it just.. smacks me in the face? Who knows.
It's almost time.. Everytime I drive by NC, it draws closer and it causes me to have a meltdown. Not that fact that I'm going back to school, but the fact that I'm almost grown, I'm about to finish highschool, I'm about to step out into the world by myself, making my own decisions, good or bad, I'm so close to walking down that isle and receiving that diploma "LaShaundra Helena Marie Bridges" ... I'm done. I made it. When they drew so close to kicking me out of school, I made it. I can't wait... *smiles* I can't wait..
Soon, I close the door to my teenage years and open the door to my future. The time starts now. This year determines if I make it into the Business School. This year determines if I am a sophomore in college without having to take all those classes again. This year means more to me than any other year in my life. I'm ready... Let's start the year off right...