sometimes u just gotta say hmmm
Things have been kinda "bouncy" lately I've been havin strange mood swings. no I'm not on my period either. For the most part I've been surprisingly extemely joyful. I'm doin great at work ... or so all my managers tell me. I'm rarely ever depressed. Maybe I'm finally getting used to only having 1 family member left. (Mom) The rest of the fam pretty much cut me off after I moved out. At first it really really bothered me knowing at they would rather have a stuck up fam that only cares about their money rather then a fam that actually cared about them and wanted them to be happy. Whether they are or not I just don't know anymore. Well, I do talk to my brother still sometimes but Willie doesn't really want him around anymore. Which he has reason and all. Couple of days ago mike came over and accused me of taking money outta his gf's bank account. I'm like DUDE I don't even know her account number or ever what bank she's with. WTF!!!! He claims he has me on some tape recording or something that the bank gave them. I told him I honestly don't know what to tell him. They got the money back and all... the bank gave it back. It's just the fact that they're all trying to accuse me of something. my ex- step- sister claimed that I broke into her car sometime after we moved out and stole something. I'm like mannnnn how can I steal something outta car when I have no idea wtf it is. Needless to say they're all just wanting to ruin whatever good name I have. I'm still waiting for them to call my work or come up there starting shit. *sigh* The only ppl I REALLY have in my life is Willie, mom, and mom's bf lee. Now he's a wonderful man. He treats my mother so good. He'll bend over backward for her and do all kinds of romantic things with her. They go on "dates" every 2 days and she calls me and tells me all about them. They live together in Hawaii which is freakin awesome cause I get to go see her. Next year Willie will be going for the first time and he'll get to meet mom. I think they're both looking forward to it. She has helped us out so much and i so love her for it. Sometimes I still feel incrediably empty though. I guess it's because I feel like I've lost most my life when I decided to move on with it and try and be happy. The stress is takin a toll on my body too. It's constantly in pain. I'm going to have to go see a doc soon and see what he says. I still have to finish my physical anyway. Last time I went was in 2002 before my trip to Hawaii. I never got past the blood tests tho. They said they found something in my blood and kept making me go back for more tests. I think I did around 15 trips to get it tested and they never could tell me what it was. So, I left for hawaii and never got a chance to go back. Now that my insuance has FINALLY kicked in I can start goin to the doc. Fun days. Well, I think I'm gonna go snuggle with my baby for awhile. *daydreams* he's fucking awesome hehehe.