last night was so fucking insane
There is nothing more interesting then going to a show that you haven't waited to see for pretty much your whole entire life and then someone that you love/fucked you over shows up. first off he doesn't even live in this state he lives in FL...thats like 2000 miles away. Second, its kinda fucking ironic that everytime we were together Jimmy Eat World was somehow playing in the background...tour bus..my car...yea the details I remember from it even amaze me. Andj said she saw him and I went and said hi, I was shaking, I mean how do you fucking handle that? I said hi, Roy bought me a drink..and then Andj bought me a drink...I also took some sinus meds....I ended up dancing my ass off to JEW anyway, and I didn't fucking care that he was there. I find Kristy at the end of the show, and we all go to drink in my car..somehow Josh came with, still not fucking understanding this...but anyway. Drinking ensues, thank you mr jack daniels for making such a fine product by the way. There were about 50 million fucking sing alongs, spring break by army of freshman, all dressed up-plain white ts, various jimmy eat world songs. A talk about APO not being a band anymore...just completely fun stuff. Oh I left out the part of him fucking puking out of the car, then drinking some more...I still don't know how I feel about that hahahaha. Then we go to a bar, and just when I think everything is fucking cool, and we are all having a great time he fucking bails...I didn't even do anything wrong, and andj tells me I should learn how to deal with this shit, cuz she wants to hang out with him again. Fuck you btw cuz thats BS and you know it. You know what it upset me at first but I realized that he was right when he said he didn't deserve me, cuz he doesn't. I am a big sweetheart, I am funny, smart, caring, a good person. I need to find someone who realizes this, and I will. He doesn't validate me anymore, I used to think if Josh didn't want me it was the end of the world, and its not, cuz you want to know what I did when he ditched us. I saw the best fucking concert of my life with one of my best friends and made a new friend. He fucking ditched us, all of us, for a reason that is completely his, and I respect that, I don't like it, and I don't have to and thats okay. After three years of dealing with it, I figure it all out in one night. I don't believe that our life is pre-planned, but I do believe things happen for a reason, and what I thought would be the worst night of my life, actually turned out to be the one of the best I've had in a long time. Thanks Josh.