I'm listening to blink

[lilmissstarr]

it reminds me of driving around in his car in winter and it being warm as all hell. wearing the t-shirt that he wore the night before. neither of us talking, but the silence is a comfortable one that makes you feel safe. my big sunglasses keeping my eyes from revealing everything that I am feeling/thinking/being. how he looks so amazing even when he drives, moments when he looks so innocent and childish, like when he did asking me if I want chocolate... it smells like morning, and the windows are down, and the warm air hits me. i take a deep breath and let out a sigh, he looks and smiles in a way that I know that everything is alright for the moment....I wish I could go back to that point of time, but thats not possible so I just replay the moment back and forth in my mind, playing with little details. Its like tivo, except with my life, fast forward. pause. rewind. play. pause. repeat. I feel like I am back in grade school, with the guy that gives me butterflies and I can't help blushing. I want to change different variables, make it have a better outcome, but I am helpless to time, everything is. I can only improve the future from the past, and thats what I am going to do. I'm not forgetting the past, if you forget the past you never learn from it. I can say though, it was one of the best days in my life, and I wouldn't take it back for the world.

on another note shanna and I hid in a closet last night. long story.
I'm buying my Ipod today, I'm so fucking excited, ask me about it later, I'm sure I'll gush about it for hours.