hmmm fuck that noise
sooooooooooooo i was reading morgans journal from a long time ago and it made me realize this..
i miss my bitch. god do i miss it. i admit to it. im a pussy. ok ok ok. whatever i miss it alot. you tend to miss something that teaches you a lot. so what if it wasnt a 3 year thing not even a 3 month thing. so what if it was just hte moment we got caught up in. we still had a fun time. we still did our thing. and thats what was so amazing about it. so it was my first "realtionship" so what. itll still be with you for life. kinda like my first love..you know the love that made me anti but wasnt love at all. im not lush. in the least bit. i stay true to what i want and i did. and it got me here. feeling shitty. likei have no more chances with someone that i actually did care about
"sooner or later one of us must know that i really did try to get close to you" i did. it was sooooooooo hard to allow him in. the hardest thing i think ive everdone. it felt good and i dont regret it in the least bit cuz regardless of what everyone says to me about him..i saw a soul. a good soul. not a player. not an asshole. not an arrogant fucker. i saw a good friend. and perhaps i shouldve kept it that way.
perhaps i shouldve never called him. the first or second time around. i blame myself. not cuz im not good enough and not cuz i couldnt deal. but because iw as the one stupid enough to kiss him with my eyes closed and believe the words he so openly said to me... god i hate that.
i let all my walls come down with him..why? cuz he was fun. alot of people are fun but you dont see me letting them drink my milk...or god all the little things that really bother me..he did..and i was ok with it? WHY? thats what i wanan know...why!?
ill call him tommo before work...perhaps hell wanna hang out with me, fat chance..but itll be like that last call thing. if its a no..then im just gunna have to deal...itll be my last attmept at trying to make that whole friend thing work...thats the only thing i was afraid of when goin into that whole thing...that he wouldnt be my friend...and i didnt wanna lose him as my friend but i guess shit happens..
you gotta lose someone sometime. but i didnt think that....nevermind
i get to worked up over something stupid...why is it that my stomach still burns and twists wheni think of him in that way???
fuck-a-life.
not going to let it drag down my 2005....too late? nope..but by a hair.
im not shining on..and worst of all i overstayed the welcome....and the flower..well howabout that fuckin flower.... its "withered" i guess it forgot to bloom...like someo...nevermind again
i miss my bitch. god do i miss it. i admit to it. im a pussy. ok ok ok. whatever i miss it alot. you tend to miss something that teaches you a lot. so what if it wasnt a 3 year thing not even a 3 month thing. so what if it was just hte moment we got caught up in. we still had a fun time. we still did our thing. and thats what was so amazing about it. so it was my first "realtionship" so what. itll still be with you for life. kinda like my first love..you know the love that made me anti but wasnt love at all. im not lush. in the least bit. i stay true to what i want and i did. and it got me here. feeling shitty. likei have no more chances with someone that i actually did care about
"sooner or later one of us must know that i really did try to get close to you" i did. it was sooooooooo hard to allow him in. the hardest thing i think ive everdone. it felt good and i dont regret it in the least bit cuz regardless of what everyone says to me about him..i saw a soul. a good soul. not a player. not an asshole. not an arrogant fucker. i saw a good friend. and perhaps i shouldve kept it that way.
perhaps i shouldve never called him. the first or second time around. i blame myself. not cuz im not good enough and not cuz i couldnt deal. but because iw as the one stupid enough to kiss him with my eyes closed and believe the words he so openly said to me... god i hate that.
i let all my walls come down with him..why? cuz he was fun. alot of people are fun but you dont see me letting them drink my milk...or god all the little things that really bother me..he did..and i was ok with it? WHY? thats what i wanan know...why!?
ill call him tommo before work...perhaps hell wanna hang out with me, fat chance..but itll be like that last call thing. if its a no..then im just gunna have to deal...itll be my last attmept at trying to make that whole friend thing work...thats the only thing i was afraid of when goin into that whole thing...that he wouldnt be my friend...and i didnt wanna lose him as my friend but i guess shit happens..
you gotta lose someone sometime. but i didnt think that....nevermind
i get to worked up over something stupid...why is it that my stomach still burns and twists wheni think of him in that way???
fuck-a-life.
not going to let it drag down my 2005....too late? nope..but by a hair.
im not shining on..and worst of all i overstayed the welcome....and the flower..well howabout that fuckin flower.... its "withered" i guess it forgot to bloom...like someo...nevermind again