(no subject)
so yeh...today's not been so bad actually. I just printed out my CVs for some jobs that I need to apply for. The lack of money is bringing me down :( I'm also feeling quite lonely; everyone's buggered off to uni now, so it's just little me all alone! I miss Tomarse and Jamesy-boy. I need to get drunk too actually. Havent had a good drinkage sesh for an age...actually it's been like two weeks....still an age though. I've decided I'm gonna become more positive about life too; no more of this depressive, mopey behaviour. Also, I've gotta stop talking to Arse-Wipe aswell. Well I haven't spoken to him for two weeks, and even then I was horrible. As I rightly should have been! So, more positive, happy, cheery Emma. No more down, depressed, moany Emma.
I saw Emma "J" today aswell, for the first time in like, three weeks. I'm so glad that she's happier now. My God she's engaged too. She's grown up so much. It's strange, y'know. I had a year off school, where I was really vulnerable etc, but now everyone's grown up and moved on, and it seems like I'm still stuck in limbo. I've gotta start growing up and taking responsibility for myself. Trouble is, I don't wanna grow up! It's too scary thinking that I'll be like 20 next June!!! ARGH! I'll be getting a walking stick and a zimmer frame next : | So, definitely time for a "me" change. More enjoying myself, no more worrying about my weight blah blah (pish! that'll never happen though) and no more dwelling in the past. It's gone, I can look back and smile, cry or whatever, but not live in it. History's boring anyway.