The Gathering of the Gagas: A Report
The Institute of Gaga Studies would like to thank everyone who attended last night's Gathering of the Gagas. We believe we can safely describe the First Annual Gathering of the Gagas as a great success. Participants chose to manifest the spirit of Gaga in a variety of ways: steampunk Gaga; meat dress Gaga; cigarette glasses Gaga; Gaga glasses Gaga; American flag Gaga; Polar bear robe Gaga; giant blonde wig Gaga; latex nun Gaga; the Sacred Heart of Gaga; Poker Face leotard Gaga; red lace crown Gaga; black lace bunny ears Gaga; Micky Mouse Gaga; and wheelchair Gaga (sans wheelchair). The Institute appreciates the presence of Gaga support staff, including a number of Gaga wranglers and Metal Jaw Guy. Alexander Skarsgard was regrettably unable to attend. True to our mission, Gagas of both genders, all sexualities, and many races and body types were represented. The Institute of Gaga Studies will consider accepting Beyonces for the 2011 Gathering of the Gagas, so long as this inclusion does not discourage Gagas of color. The Institute is further concerned that light-skinned Beyonces may run the risk of being mistaken for Katy Perry.
The Institute understands that the venue stopped letting people in at approximately 11:30 pm, so not all Gagas were able to participate. This may account for the lack of Machine Gun Bra Gaga, who was sorely missed. We are profoundly disappointed that the Gathering was not able to enter the costume contest -- we simply could not fit them all onto the stage -- and we would have just lost to the Rock Em' Sock Em' Robots anyway.
And now, the Institute of Gaga Studies would like to share with you its hard-won wisdom:
1. Always bobby pin your wig into place, or it will start to scoot back while you are dancing to Bad Romance.
2. If you affix your false eyelashes with eyelash glue, you should also purchase eyelash glue remover.
3. Eyelash glue may glue your eyelashes together.
4. The combination of wig, mask, and hat will render you unrecognizable to your friends. Watch while they harass other Gagas thinking that they are you!
5. Hot glue gun glue is hot.
6. If your costume is held together with nothing but a hot glue gun and good intentions, bring safety pins -- lots of safety pins.
7. If you are covered in safety pins, bring band-aids.
8. Glitter covers a multitude of sins.
9. Boots, then corset. Giant false eyelashes, then half-mask.
10. When in doubt, ditch the pants.
Until next year, my lovelies. There may be choreography.
The Institute understands that the venue stopped letting people in at approximately 11:30 pm, so not all Gagas were able to participate. This may account for the lack of Machine Gun Bra Gaga, who was sorely missed. We are profoundly disappointed that the Gathering was not able to enter the costume contest -- we simply could not fit them all onto the stage -- and we would have just lost to the Rock Em' Sock Em' Robots anyway.
And now, the Institute of Gaga Studies would like to share with you its hard-won wisdom:
1. Always bobby pin your wig into place, or it will start to scoot back while you are dancing to Bad Romance.
2. If you affix your false eyelashes with eyelash glue, you should also purchase eyelash glue remover.
3. Eyelash glue may glue your eyelashes together.
4. The combination of wig, mask, and hat will render you unrecognizable to your friends. Watch while they harass other Gagas thinking that they are you!
5. Hot glue gun glue is hot.
6. If your costume is held together with nothing but a hot glue gun and good intentions, bring safety pins -- lots of safety pins.
7. If you are covered in safety pins, bring band-aids.
8. Glitter covers a multitude of sins.
9. Boots, then corset. Giant false eyelashes, then half-mask.
10. When in doubt, ditch the pants.
Until next year, my lovelies. There may be choreography.