J calls me "inconsolable," not because I'm in hysterics or anything like that, but because there is nothing that can be said that might make me feel better. I do not respond to "everything is going to be okay," or "it will work out all right," when it is really not okay at all and it may very well get worse. I am not comforted by empty reassuring
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I am still hoping that there is some way that I can help my father that involves hitting things. I would like to hit things very much.
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