(no subject)
it took me hours to finally get here. and i've had a bad day and i had a lot to say...stupid website.
well today's my brother's birthday, he's 26. he's having his 'own' party today and didn't invite family. so mom invited him over tomorrow to have dinner, but he already has plans to go hunting with kevin. that was pretty rude but w/e. mom even got pie crusts to make his favorite cheese cake.
well sadie and katie have really been pissing me off. they ate ALL the choclate little cakes i eat in the mornings. and i can't eat MUCH without hurting my stomach. so that's just fucking dandy. and they never shut the fuck up. they sit there laughing as loud as possible over stupid shit late at night and when you scream at them they just laugh harder. and sadie was being such a bitch last night, i'd ask her shit and she just wouldn answer me, and i'd ask her like 3 or 4 times and then she thoug she had a reason to scream at me (because i asked her so much) she's so fucking ignorant. i can really hate her sometimes.
mom was supposed to call and set up my driving test for next saturday. but she's now making me remind her AGAIN to call monday. and i've had to remember to remind her about 4 times and it stresses me out so that just pisses me off first of all. then to find out it's the DAY before i'll have to go retake the written test if i don't pass pisses me off. i said something will fucking happen and i wont get to take it monday. and SHE FUCKING SAID 'WELL GOOD THEN YOU CAN HAVE MORE PRACTICE AND TAKE THE WRITTEN TEST AGAIN. I FUCKING BLEW UP! SHE HAS ALREADY MADE ME WAIT 3 MONTHS AFTER MY FUCKING BIRTHDAY TO GET THIS SHIT DONE! AND SHE THINKS IT'S MY FAULT FOR NOT BUGGING HER ABOUT LETTING ME DRIVE! HALF THE TIME I'D ASK HER SHE'D TELL ME NO! AND NOW I'M GOING TO HAVE TO STUDY AND RETAKE THE FUCKING WRITTEN TEST! there is no fucking way she'll make sadie go through all this shit, and i know isaiah didn't take it. god i wish i just lived by my own fucking rule i'd be so much more organized.
she's never going to let me grow up. i screamed at her that she hasn't treated me any older than 15 and she promised me she fucking would. one time mom told sadie how surprised she was that sadie was so smart and how mature she was. and one time i didn't understand something mom said, she goes 'aww i guess you're not as mature as i thoguht you were, you're still just a baby.' she wasn't tryig to be mean, but i could have died. no matter what i do she thinks i'm never going to get any older.
she informed us today she's going to indy with her friend in 2 saturdays. she said we'd have to find someone to stay with, meaning isaiah and lori. sadie said she was staying with kaite. and i'm NOT staying with isaiah and lori, LET ALONE by my fucking self. it's miserable there! annalyse thinks she's 13, lori has 30 friends over, they all stay up late, and avoid taking us home the next day, we fight with everyone. it's awful. and i can never sleep at someone else's house either. so i told mom i was staying home and she said i wasn't, and i told her i wasn't staying with anyone i'd run away before i'll do that, and we got into a huge fight and i told her i was 16 and she hasn't even given us a chance to stay home ONE FUCKING NIGHT by ourselves so how does she know anything's going to go wrong. NO ONE has broken into our house my entire life so why would they one the single day mom was gone?! and she said all she would do is worry about us all night, so i told her she could call, isaiah could call or come over. and she still said no and i just want to fucking kill someone. why can't she just fucking try it once i told her if anything went wrong we never had to do it again. she wont fucking do anything that involves us being 'older' i'm going to see if i can spend the night with dana and if she says no, there's going to be hell because i refuse to go anywhere. i don't see why she wouldn't let me, if sadie was staying with a friend and i go there all the time and spend the whole day there anyway. she already knows what we do so what's the matter with staying the whole night. i know she'll say no, why would it be that great for me. to stay with him, something we've wanted to do forever, and not have to go to isaiah and lori's? i'm so fucking sick of living like this. i'm never happy.
for about a week i was so nice to mom because i had missed her so much. i haven't felt like that since i was 12 or younger and she ruined it all by being a fucking bitch about everything so once again we're back to our usual fighting.
well today's my brother's birthday, he's 26. he's having his 'own' party today and didn't invite family. so mom invited him over tomorrow to have dinner, but he already has plans to go hunting with kevin. that was pretty rude but w/e. mom even got pie crusts to make his favorite cheese cake.
well sadie and katie have really been pissing me off. they ate ALL the choclate little cakes i eat in the mornings. and i can't eat MUCH without hurting my stomach. so that's just fucking dandy. and they never shut the fuck up. they sit there laughing as loud as possible over stupid shit late at night and when you scream at them they just laugh harder. and sadie was being such a bitch last night, i'd ask her shit and she just wouldn answer me, and i'd ask her like 3 or 4 times and then she thoug she had a reason to scream at me (because i asked her so much) she's so fucking ignorant. i can really hate her sometimes.
mom was supposed to call and set up my driving test for next saturday. but she's now making me remind her AGAIN to call monday. and i've had to remember to remind her about 4 times and it stresses me out so that just pisses me off first of all. then to find out it's the DAY before i'll have to go retake the written test if i don't pass pisses me off. i said something will fucking happen and i wont get to take it monday. and SHE FUCKING SAID 'WELL GOOD THEN YOU CAN HAVE MORE PRACTICE AND TAKE THE WRITTEN TEST AGAIN. I FUCKING BLEW UP! SHE HAS ALREADY MADE ME WAIT 3 MONTHS AFTER MY FUCKING BIRTHDAY TO GET THIS SHIT DONE! AND SHE THINKS IT'S MY FAULT FOR NOT BUGGING HER ABOUT LETTING ME DRIVE! HALF THE TIME I'D ASK HER SHE'D TELL ME NO! AND NOW I'M GOING TO HAVE TO STUDY AND RETAKE THE FUCKING WRITTEN TEST! there is no fucking way she'll make sadie go through all this shit, and i know isaiah didn't take it. god i wish i just lived by my own fucking rule i'd be so much more organized.
she's never going to let me grow up. i screamed at her that she hasn't treated me any older than 15 and she promised me she fucking would. one time mom told sadie how surprised she was that sadie was so smart and how mature she was. and one time i didn't understand something mom said, she goes 'aww i guess you're not as mature as i thoguht you were, you're still just a baby.' she wasn't tryig to be mean, but i could have died. no matter what i do she thinks i'm never going to get any older.
she informed us today she's going to indy with her friend in 2 saturdays. she said we'd have to find someone to stay with, meaning isaiah and lori. sadie said she was staying with kaite. and i'm NOT staying with isaiah and lori, LET ALONE by my fucking self. it's miserable there! annalyse thinks she's 13, lori has 30 friends over, they all stay up late, and avoid taking us home the next day, we fight with everyone. it's awful. and i can never sleep at someone else's house either. so i told mom i was staying home and she said i wasn't, and i told her i wasn't staying with anyone i'd run away before i'll do that, and we got into a huge fight and i told her i was 16 and she hasn't even given us a chance to stay home ONE FUCKING NIGHT by ourselves so how does she know anything's going to go wrong. NO ONE has broken into our house my entire life so why would they one the single day mom was gone?! and she said all she would do is worry about us all night, so i told her she could call, isaiah could call or come over. and she still said no and i just want to fucking kill someone. why can't she just fucking try it once i told her if anything went wrong we never had to do it again. she wont fucking do anything that involves us being 'older' i'm going to see if i can spend the night with dana and if she says no, there's going to be hell because i refuse to go anywhere. i don't see why she wouldn't let me, if sadie was staying with a friend and i go there all the time and spend the whole day there anyway. she already knows what we do so what's the matter with staying the whole night. i know she'll say no, why would it be that great for me. to stay with him, something we've wanted to do forever, and not have to go to isaiah and lori's? i'm so fucking sick of living like this. i'm never happy.
for about a week i was so nice to mom because i had missed her so much. i haven't felt like that since i was 12 or younger and she ruined it all by being a fucking bitch about everything so once again we're back to our usual fighting.