Regrets
Title: Regrets
Author: lilmikan
Pairing: Junseung
Word Count: 1055
Genre: Angst
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Does he?
A/N: Ignore the fail summary... again. I have this written in one of my notebooks during my spare time. ^^ Hope you guys like it! Comments are always welcome :D
They were walking back to Hyunseung's house together after their usual stroll on the park like the many other afternoons they would spend with one another every once in a while when the weather is perfect.
Junhyung went to the park with Hyunseung to see the other would always feel whenever they’d visit that very park. He went to let Hyunseung have the last of his ice cream. He went to hold the other's soft hand in the end when he would shiver from the weather.
Though, this time was not the same as before.
Silence had settled itself. It was a very awkward sort of silence that had never been here for quite awhile.
On afternoons like this one, Hyunseung’s hand would usually shyly reach for Junhyung's when they got to the street he lived on. But this time he was not doing it and Junhyung figured it was because the silence between them was blocking Hyunseung's hand.
Again and again and again, he tried to break the quietness by asking Hyunseung how his day had been. The answers were sort of short, confusing, without all the usual bubbly answers that would follow afterwards.
They reached the Hyunseung’s house and Hyunseung said he had fun and that they should probably do that again some other time. Junhyung's smile was bitter, he did not want to have any replays of how awkward this afternoon was but despite this he still said that he would look forward to it and go.
Hyunseung let go of Junhyung's hand and hugged him. Junhyung would held him close, feeling their hearts beating to different beats and smelling that same scent of Hyunseung's perfume but yet again, the usual warmth he would feel from the other wasn’t there.
This was usually the moment when Hyunseung would lean down slightly to kiss him and tell him that he loves him so much and that he will miss him but then, it was different.
Hyunseung's phone rang and he immediately let go of Junhyung to answer.
"Hello? Nope, I'm not busy. Just with Junhyung.. Right now? You sure? I thought we couldn't see each other tonight. You're done early? Alright then! Bye. Love you~"
Junhyung did not need to even ask who he was talking to. Smiling and trying to not look as bothered as he was, the older just suggested bringing him there since his car was parked right in front of Hyunseung's house anyways and he was going in this direction.
The last part was a lie but it made Hyunseung smiled brightly and head to the car.
"I have to go t-"
"I know…." He immediately said.
They haven’t spoke a word throughout the whole ride and Junhyung only drove and glanced a few times at the doe-eyed boy, who was smiling at those messages he keeps getting. Hyunseung's smile had always been one of Junhyung's favorite things to see.
Soon enough, Junhyung stopped the engine in front of the apartment building. This time, he was unable to completely hide his feelings. It was like giving up Hyunseung and would surrender, like giving up without any choice, losing this beautiful person he used to called his.
Looking at the rapper's face, Hyunseung suddenly looked like he felt kinda bad too.
"Junhyung, you know... you didn't have to bring me." He said, "I know you don't wanna come here..."
"What? Don't be idiotic." Junhyung said, trying too hard to put a smile on his face again," Besides, you two want to spend time together right? The earlier you come, the longer you’ll stay over there."
"But I have to leave you all alone and that doesn’t seem fair. Why not the two of us do something else today instead?" he questions Junhyung.
No matter how much Junhyung just wanted to start the car’s engine and drive far far away to a place where he would be able to keep Hyunseung all to himself, he knew that he was selfish and kind of possessive but not in a bad way.
"Don't make him wait for too long." Junhyung said, feeling a little devastated again.
"But what about y-?"
"Listen Seung, you have someone else. I know you guys are dating and your happy and all this shit, I got used to it." He cut Hyunseung’s worried question softly.
"Jun... I-I'm sorry." Hyunseung looks down at his lap.
"It's just… just that that you really never say what you think about me and him, I thought you’d really hated us for dating."
"Shut it Seung. I really like to see you being happy with him. I'm happy you guys are together." Hyunseung looked at Junhyung with a soft look in his eyes. "You deserve to be happy so let it be."
"I can tell. That you're not that quite happy…" Hyunseung frowns, "Don't you think you deserve to be happy with someone else, too?"
Junhyung did not answer directly for the fear that admitting Hyunseung was right. "Don't mind me. I'll forever be alone, I'll be just fine without anyone." As Junhyung plasters a smile on his face.
Hyunseung seemed to buy it and looked satisfied by it so he stepped out of the car and waved at Junhyung.
"Well, say hi to your family for me!"
"I will." Junhyung started the car’s engine once the other closed the door behind him, "Say hi to your boyfriend for me."
"Sure!" Hyunseung said before skipping his way to the door and then he waved.
"Bye!"
Junhyung waved and drove when Hyunseung entered the building. But that was only to pull over again in a street and lean his arms against the wheel and put his forehead over them, looking down at his lap.
He glanced next to him at the now quiet the passenger seat is and mouthed all those words he had wanted to tell Hyunseung that he held inside. There were a lot but there were a few that kept on coming back to his fucked-up mind.
"I need you...so much. I shouldn’t have let you go."
He turned on the radio and a sad song starts to play. Junhyung wished this didn't happen, he wished this simple bye and those smiles did not feel as final as they did. He regretted it so much.
Author: lilmikan
Pairing: Junseung
Word Count: 1055
Genre: Angst
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Does he?
A/N: Ignore the fail summary... again. I have this written in one of my notebooks during my spare time. ^^ Hope you guys like it! Comments are always welcome :D
They were walking back to Hyunseung's house together after their usual stroll on the park like the many other afternoons they would spend with one another every once in a while when the weather is perfect.
Junhyung went to the park with Hyunseung to see the other would always feel whenever they’d visit that very park. He went to let Hyunseung have the last of his ice cream. He went to hold the other's soft hand in the end when he would shiver from the weather.
Though, this time was not the same as before.
Silence had settled itself. It was a very awkward sort of silence that had never been here for quite awhile.
On afternoons like this one, Hyunseung’s hand would usually shyly reach for Junhyung's when they got to the street he lived on. But this time he was not doing it and Junhyung figured it was because the silence between them was blocking Hyunseung's hand.
Again and again and again, he tried to break the quietness by asking Hyunseung how his day had been. The answers were sort of short, confusing, without all the usual bubbly answers that would follow afterwards.
They reached the Hyunseung’s house and Hyunseung said he had fun and that they should probably do that again some other time. Junhyung's smile was bitter, he did not want to have any replays of how awkward this afternoon was but despite this he still said that he would look forward to it and go.
Hyunseung let go of Junhyung's hand and hugged him. Junhyung would held him close, feeling their hearts beating to different beats and smelling that same scent of Hyunseung's perfume but yet again, the usual warmth he would feel from the other wasn’t there.
This was usually the moment when Hyunseung would lean down slightly to kiss him and tell him that he loves him so much and that he will miss him but then, it was different.
Hyunseung's phone rang and he immediately let go of Junhyung to answer.
"Hello? Nope, I'm not busy. Just with Junhyung.. Right now? You sure? I thought we couldn't see each other tonight. You're done early? Alright then! Bye. Love you~"
Junhyung did not need to even ask who he was talking to. Smiling and trying to not look as bothered as he was, the older just suggested bringing him there since his car was parked right in front of Hyunseung's house anyways and he was going in this direction.
The last part was a lie but it made Hyunseung smiled brightly and head to the car.
"I have to go t-"
"I know…." He immediately said.
They haven’t spoke a word throughout the whole ride and Junhyung only drove and glanced a few times at the doe-eyed boy, who was smiling at those messages he keeps getting. Hyunseung's smile had always been one of Junhyung's favorite things to see.
Soon enough, Junhyung stopped the engine in front of the apartment building. This time, he was unable to completely hide his feelings. It was like giving up Hyunseung and would surrender, like giving up without any choice, losing this beautiful person he used to called his.
Looking at the rapper's face, Hyunseung suddenly looked like he felt kinda bad too.
"Junhyung, you know... you didn't have to bring me." He said, "I know you don't wanna come here..."
"What? Don't be idiotic." Junhyung said, trying too hard to put a smile on his face again," Besides, you two want to spend time together right? The earlier you come, the longer you’ll stay over there."
"But I have to leave you all alone and that doesn’t seem fair. Why not the two of us do something else today instead?" he questions Junhyung.
No matter how much Junhyung just wanted to start the car’s engine and drive far far away to a place where he would be able to keep Hyunseung all to himself, he knew that he was selfish and kind of possessive but not in a bad way.
"Don't make him wait for too long." Junhyung said, feeling a little devastated again.
"But what about y-?"
"Listen Seung, you have someone else. I know you guys are dating and your happy and all this shit, I got used to it." He cut Hyunseung’s worried question softly.
"Jun... I-I'm sorry." Hyunseung looks down at his lap.
"It's just… just that that you really never say what you think about me and him, I thought you’d really hated us for dating."
"Shut it Seung. I really like to see you being happy with him. I'm happy you guys are together." Hyunseung looked at Junhyung with a soft look in his eyes. "You deserve to be happy so let it be."
"I can tell. That you're not that quite happy…" Hyunseung frowns, "Don't you think you deserve to be happy with someone else, too?"
Junhyung did not answer directly for the fear that admitting Hyunseung was right. "Don't mind me. I'll forever be alone, I'll be just fine without anyone." As Junhyung plasters a smile on his face.
Hyunseung seemed to buy it and looked satisfied by it so he stepped out of the car and waved at Junhyung.
"Well, say hi to your family for me!"
"I will." Junhyung started the car’s engine once the other closed the door behind him, "Say hi to your boyfriend for me."
"Sure!" Hyunseung said before skipping his way to the door and then he waved.
"Bye!"
Junhyung waved and drove when Hyunseung entered the building. But that was only to pull over again in a street and lean his arms against the wheel and put his forehead over them, looking down at his lap.
He glanced next to him at the now quiet the passenger seat is and mouthed all those words he had wanted to tell Hyunseung that he held inside. There were a lot but there were a few that kept on coming back to his fucked-up mind.
"I need you...so much. I shouldn’t have let you go."
He turned on the radio and a sad song starts to play. Junhyung wished this didn't happen, he wished this simple bye and those smiles did not feel as final as they did. He regretted it so much.