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Jun 19, 2005 23:05


Danielle and i had sooo sooo much fun yesterday!!... well, the car wash was quite tiring, but it was worth all of the money we raised, i think we got $625 for our trips.... that's so exciting... i cant wait for cedar point! ((you guys really should come))... just 4 more days, yay.... after the car wash, mom took us to cozumel, and we ate enchiladas.. so so yummy... then we went to pat's and had lots-o-fun!... we watched the notebook, which was soo sooo amazing!.. its now in my top 10 favorite movie... but i guessed everything that was going to happen... i knew they were gona have sex.. that he would get the house... that she would get a new guy, that he would paint the house they way he told her, that she would find him and leave the other guy... that her mom was gona ruin it, that her mom would give her the letters, and that they would both die.... i rule... at least at guessing movies... we stayed up most of the night watching channels i don't get in alum creek... we watched a lot of fuse, and MTV 2... i don't think we got to bed till about 3 or 4, then my mom woke us up at like 7:17...ugh...

went to church for the first time in 2 weeks.. missed last Sunday because i was on vacation... every time I'm away from church for a while, when i come back, it always hits me hard... as normal, it did... jt really made em think... I'm really not the Christian that i should be... i haven't been as forgiving as i should to some people... i mean lately i have done well, but in general, i haven't... i almost actually called my dad... i didn't.. but i think i will soon... i may actually go to Texas for a few days... but I'm not sure if I'm ready for that one or not yet... i know he's my dad, and his heath sucks so bad he probably doesn't have much time left... he always makes me so upset... and from what i hear, his drinking is worse than it was when i ran away to live with mom... i hear he's more violent now... apparently my half brother whom i don't really know, is living with him now.. and he got mad and just straight up punched Billy for mentioning my moms name?... i dono... but I've got a lot of stuff to work on this summer... i don't read my Bible even close to enough.. truthfully, i actually cant remember the last time i opened it up on my own outside of church or youth group functions... i need to work on getting closer to God.... I've gotten so far away this past year or so... lately, I've gone to church because i knew it was best, and that i kind of had to... but that's not how it is supposed to be... i need to go because i want to... I'm excited about VBS and camp... i know it will help a lot.. I'm going to try to cut back on cussing, and eventually try to quit... i bet half the people i know don't even know I'm saved... and that's really sad on my part...

this upcoming year is my senior year.. do you know how crazy that is... it till feels like it was just last week that i moved here... and met tank and Todd outside the building underneath the overhang, singing Jay and Silent Bob's rap.. and met becca in homeroom... met Nathan on the bus... met Britt and Logan in history class.. mrs.moir was so freakin crazy... i don't know, its just all happened so far to me.. 9th grade was amazing... 10th grade was ok... 11th grade sucked, but 12th has to be amazing.. it just has to be... i wont let it be anything else... i will enjoy the year... im not letting anyone or anything get in the way of making my senior year my most memorable year at GW, for good reasons, not bad... i want my last memories with my friends, to be good ones... i want to look back and say, wow i really had a good time, and had great friends... this will be the first year that i haven't had a boyfriend by my side,but i actually think i want it that way for now... i seem to have always gave my boyfriends priority, and put my friends second, and that was really messed up of me... i want to enjoy the friends that i have... i want to get closer tot hem than i have ever been before...

i am in the process of reinventing myself... making myself into a better person... trying my hardest to be the best Christian i can be, and the best friend i can be as well... these are the greatest days of our lives... we should enjoy them....
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