eeeekkk
so I can't sleep and I've been thinking.. this isn't going to be a happy/positvie entry at all. but as I was laying in my bed trying to fall asleep thinking.. I started to shake:/ and I remember looking at the clock and it was 3:13 am.. and then I blacked out but then I came to or w/e the hell its called..and then it was 3:37 and I just layed there shaking.. I hate this so much.. seriously right now I'm scared to death I don't know whats wrong with me. I've done this before too. This time wasn't as bad though. I don't know what caused it though. I haven't had one of these in quite some time.I'm scared of myself right now though and I got no one to call. Everyone is in bed becuase its 4 am. and this seems kind of weird saying this but I wish ambur was here right now becuase she has been there when I had some of these so maybe she knows what to do? but shes not here so this kind of sucks.I'm all alone and scared to death.. no clue what to do either.. I wish I wouldn't have these they seriously scare me more than anything else. I can't stop shaking this sucks.I need ambur right now.. weird saying this stuff though but I do I need her. She's helped me through more than anyone else and she knows the mopst about me.she knows secrets that not even my friends know. Why does this happen to me?? I can't get her off my mind... I can't stop shaking.. I hate this. I miss her. I def. don't miss these damn things w/e you wanna call them.I have an urge to do something though...:( I don't want to do it either.. I need someone here now.. anyone I don't care who.. I'm scared of what I might do..Someone please save me from myself... I need you now more than ever please come save me from this.I need help... serious help. I'm having withdrawals lately... I don't know what to do.. I'm going to lay back down though cuz I'm shaking bad and it won't stop... I'm scared to death though I don't wanna be alone but I am... someone please help me...