(no subject)
So I moved into JWU Saturday and so far it hasn't been that great.
I don't really think that the city was a really good idea for me. I don't feel that comfortable here and a big part of that is the people. Like they are all really nice and everything, just I don't feel like I fit in, and I've never felt like that before. They all seem to be all about drinking, partying, hooking up, and drugs. I'm all for drinking, believe me I love it but I'm actually not a huge party type. Drinking isn't my life and it just won't be, I'm not that way. I'm not the hook up kind because well I love my boyfriend more than anything in this world and even when was single I wasn't that type at all. And I just don't do drugs, it's just not my thing. So basiclly even when they say come hang out, I feel really lonely. Plus I actually like staying in, relaxing and stuff like that and for some reason I feel embarressed about that.
That brings me to the next thing I will bore you with. I can to the realization last night that I care way too much about what people think of me. I really wish that I didn't care because I shouldn't. So that's something I really want to work on about myself. I want to be able to just do my own thing and not worry about what people say or think because it's my life and they can't judge me unless I let them. Once I started thinking aout how I want to be more like that I felt alot happier. Who cares if I don't want to go out every night with them. That's just not me and I should feel bad about that. And so what if I text my boyfriend alot and would rather talk to him at night when I have a 7:10 class the next morning. He is the only person who makes me feel better and who understands me.
This brings me to the last thing I shall complain about and bore you with. I found out today that my boyfriend will have exams on the weekend and also maybe work study on weekends. I feel so pathetic but that made me really sad to think about. I just want to see him on the weekends and it makes me feel really upset to know I won't see him as much as I thought I might. As of right now on the weekends that he has tests or w/e it is that keeps us from being able to hang out, I really just want to go home. I won't want to go out without him, I will miss him way too much.
Well if you read all this then that's amazing haha. I just wanted to get it all out and like I thought it would, it feels so much better.