2010
Every turn of the new year, everyone asks you, "So, what's your new year's resolution?" These days I hear people respond nonchalantly, "Meh. I don't really have one. Whenever I make a resolution, I always forget it or don't keep it."
Usually, for myself, my resolutions have typically ranged around: A) "Get 'such and such' GPA" B) Get in shape C) Be less argumentative or D) Get a boyfriend (seeing how I was single for the first nearly 18.5 years of my life....)
This year, things are a little different.
"A)" still is valid, as it always should be. I always mean to keep my grades up, and although I pulled it together near the end of last semester, I can do way better than a 3.0 But economics and trig are gonna kill me.
"B)" is kinda bullshit now. No way do I really need to lose any weight, plus, I'm pretty happy with the way I look physically. Maybe I'm not the super skinny blonde chick with a tiny waist and amazing boobs, but.. I'm Sarah. That's all that really matters :)
"C)" will connect with a more revised resolution for this year. I can always work on not yelling or getting worked up so much.
and "D)", well, I have a boyfriend... He's pretty tight. I'm just making sure to maintain the chill factor, and I'm sure that everything will go just fine :)
So, this year.. 2010 (boy, do I feel old):
1) My biggest resolution of the year is to improve my self-esteem. I'm going to see a counselor. I was a bit apprehensive about the whole situation at first, because although it seemed tempting, and although I really want some help, I thought that it would look rather weak... like there was something wrong with me and like I didn't need some counselor's help. It didn't help when my aunt told me that maybe it would be good for me to start taking medication as well. Like, wtf, that made me feel incredibly uncomfortable... like there was something legitimately wrong with me. And to be completely honest, although I do take a lot of meds for physical pain and what-not, I never EVER want to have to rely on medication to make me happy. I can do that on my own just fine.. and that's what a counselor is going to teach me.
Through improving my self-esteem, I will learn to love myself.. just for who I am. I will no longer feel so reliant and dependent on other people for my love and happiness. I will no longer feel the need to be with someone to feel happy and complete. I will be more positive, more outgoing, people will enjoy being around me more, and... heck, I'll be happy again. I haven't been truly happy in so long.
Through being positive, I'll also be less argumentative. Though, of course, I am naturally a stubborn person. It has its positives and negatives, but that's just who I am :)
Also, through the increase in my self-esteem, I feel like I won't need to complain so much, therefore pushing people away with my neediness. I'm tired of losing people, and I blame myself for that. It will also help make me realize where my boundaries are... when I feel like I am not entirely in control of my feelings or my own being... when I feel like some other person has me wrapped around their finger and I am entirely dependent on them, and when they are upset with me, I become extremely upset. It's time for me to take control of myself and my life. If I feel upset, I will demand the respect that I *deserve*... Because why should I deserve any less than the best from another person? :)
2) Figuring out my career path. With the recent discovery that my father wouldn't exile me if I became an artist, I felt an overwhelming feeling of happiness that I haven't felt in quite some time. Suddenly, there was this giant opportunity presented in front of me. ...And, trust me, it's ever-so intimidating as well. Because, here, all my life, I thought I was going to build my career around doing something with animals... but, I found out, science and math don't come naturally for me, and the career opportunities presented to me in becoming a wildlife biologist just don't seem that rewarding to me. They're not as I pictured.
I'm not one to give up on a dream, but... all I've ever wanted to do is just be happy... and be happy helping animals. But there are so many ways to help animals. I know that I will never give up on that.
However, the one thing that is still keeping me from pursuing an art major is the fact that most artists (even ones with companies) just don't make much money AT. ALL. It's incredibly intimidating. But I'm not sure what to fall back on: business? Wildlife ecology? A simply major in wildlife ecology is not a good fall back. You'd need a PhD.
So.. I have a lot of research to do. My main concern is just to be happy... Money isn't the biggest issue. But.. I can't live off of $30,000 a year. Science is stable. Science has internships. But am I really that happy with doing science?
Either way... I'm transferring to UW. They're great for both wildlife ecology and art, so I have the summer to decide. Hopefully I get it.... I still need to fill out my application, haha. And I'll be on the west side; close to home and everyone that I love <3
3) Becoming a well-rounded person. I'm interested in learning how to do new things. For one thing, especially if I become an art major, I need to learn how to paint. I can't believe I still haven't learned that--oh, wait. My parents never let me use paints in the house, haha. I want to get back into music again. My parents tried to force me to play the violin when I was younger, and my grandma really wanted me to learn how to play piano. Violin will probably never interest me... but thanks to a certain somebody (as well as my lovely Grandma, who I feel deserves to hear me play the piano at least once), I've been inspired to learn how to play piano again... And they have free lessons here at WSU too! Then, some day, maybe I'll wanna learn guitar.
And, of course, I'll always want to learn how to sing... but that's just physically impossible unfortunately :(
OH YES! And belly-dancing. Alicia and I are learning belly-dancing. It's only $26 for the semester.
I figure that learning these things will also help keep my mind on other things and keep me busy... otherwise I'll isolate and get into my regular depressing funks :(
So, those are basically my resolutions: improvement on self-esteem, improvement with all kinds of relationships, figuring out my career path, and learning new activities/hobbies.
<3
Sarah
Usually, for myself, my resolutions have typically ranged around: A) "Get 'such and such' GPA" B) Get in shape C) Be less argumentative or D) Get a boyfriend (seeing how I was single for the first nearly 18.5 years of my life....)
This year, things are a little different.
"A)" still is valid, as it always should be. I always mean to keep my grades up, and although I pulled it together near the end of last semester, I can do way better than a 3.0 But economics and trig are gonna kill me.
"B)" is kinda bullshit now. No way do I really need to lose any weight, plus, I'm pretty happy with the way I look physically. Maybe I'm not the super skinny blonde chick with a tiny waist and amazing boobs, but.. I'm Sarah. That's all that really matters :)
"C)" will connect with a more revised resolution for this year. I can always work on not yelling or getting worked up so much.
and "D)", well, I have a boyfriend... He's pretty tight. I'm just making sure to maintain the chill factor, and I'm sure that everything will go just fine :)
So, this year.. 2010 (boy, do I feel old):
1) My biggest resolution of the year is to improve my self-esteem. I'm going to see a counselor. I was a bit apprehensive about the whole situation at first, because although it seemed tempting, and although I really want some help, I thought that it would look rather weak... like there was something wrong with me and like I didn't need some counselor's help. It didn't help when my aunt told me that maybe it would be good for me to start taking medication as well. Like, wtf, that made me feel incredibly uncomfortable... like there was something legitimately wrong with me. And to be completely honest, although I do take a lot of meds for physical pain and what-not, I never EVER want to have to rely on medication to make me happy. I can do that on my own just fine.. and that's what a counselor is going to teach me.
Through improving my self-esteem, I will learn to love myself.. just for who I am. I will no longer feel so reliant and dependent on other people for my love and happiness. I will no longer feel the need to be with someone to feel happy and complete. I will be more positive, more outgoing, people will enjoy being around me more, and... heck, I'll be happy again. I haven't been truly happy in so long.
Through being positive, I'll also be less argumentative. Though, of course, I am naturally a stubborn person. It has its positives and negatives, but that's just who I am :)
Also, through the increase in my self-esteem, I feel like I won't need to complain so much, therefore pushing people away with my neediness. I'm tired of losing people, and I blame myself for that. It will also help make me realize where my boundaries are... when I feel like I am not entirely in control of my feelings or my own being... when I feel like some other person has me wrapped around their finger and I am entirely dependent on them, and when they are upset with me, I become extremely upset. It's time for me to take control of myself and my life. If I feel upset, I will demand the respect that I *deserve*... Because why should I deserve any less than the best from another person? :)
2) Figuring out my career path. With the recent discovery that my father wouldn't exile me if I became an artist, I felt an overwhelming feeling of happiness that I haven't felt in quite some time. Suddenly, there was this giant opportunity presented in front of me. ...And, trust me, it's ever-so intimidating as well. Because, here, all my life, I thought I was going to build my career around doing something with animals... but, I found out, science and math don't come naturally for me, and the career opportunities presented to me in becoming a wildlife biologist just don't seem that rewarding to me. They're not as I pictured.
I'm not one to give up on a dream, but... all I've ever wanted to do is just be happy... and be happy helping animals. But there are so many ways to help animals. I know that I will never give up on that.
However, the one thing that is still keeping me from pursuing an art major is the fact that most artists (even ones with companies) just don't make much money AT. ALL. It's incredibly intimidating. But I'm not sure what to fall back on: business? Wildlife ecology? A simply major in wildlife ecology is not a good fall back. You'd need a PhD.
So.. I have a lot of research to do. My main concern is just to be happy... Money isn't the biggest issue. But.. I can't live off of $30,000 a year. Science is stable. Science has internships. But am I really that happy with doing science?
Either way... I'm transferring to UW. They're great for both wildlife ecology and art, so I have the summer to decide. Hopefully I get it.... I still need to fill out my application, haha. And I'll be on the west side; close to home and everyone that I love <3
3) Becoming a well-rounded person. I'm interested in learning how to do new things. For one thing, especially if I become an art major, I need to learn how to paint. I can't believe I still haven't learned that--oh, wait. My parents never let me use paints in the house, haha. I want to get back into music again. My parents tried to force me to play the violin when I was younger, and my grandma really wanted me to learn how to play piano. Violin will probably never interest me... but thanks to a certain somebody (as well as my lovely Grandma, who I feel deserves to hear me play the piano at least once), I've been inspired to learn how to play piano again... And they have free lessons here at WSU too! Then, some day, maybe I'll wanna learn guitar.
And, of course, I'll always want to learn how to sing... but that's just physically impossible unfortunately :(
OH YES! And belly-dancing. Alicia and I are learning belly-dancing. It's only $26 for the semester.
I figure that learning these things will also help keep my mind on other things and keep me busy... otherwise I'll isolate and get into my regular depressing funks :(
So, those are basically my resolutions: improvement on self-esteem, improvement with all kinds of relationships, figuring out my career path, and learning new activities/hobbies.
<3
Sarah