none of this makes sense
i love my friends so much, but i don't know just how much more drama i can take! i don't mind being there for them, because i know how hard it is to be going through something without any support, but it's starting to wear on me. it just adds to all the bullshit stress that i bring upon myself. i just feel like a lying faliure and it sucks. even so, i can't get the motivation or concentration to do anything about it. i still put other before me. i still always find something better to do. i still let my family down. i can make excusses from here until tarnation, but in the end i am just a royal, lazy fuck up.