I’m really good to avoiding questions.
More than once, with people I loved dearly, I have said I no longer loved them, to push them away, far away in a safety zone: because I will never be happy. I will never be satisfied. There will always be something… more, that I want. I have more promise rings then most people, I am sure. Twice, I even pushed away sentenced before they pulled the rings out of their pockets. They leave the rings with me anyhow, for several reasons I could guess at, and I never give them back - for several reasons they will never know. Reasons I am haunted by, even today. Nothings will ever be good enough, to where I can relax, trust, and enjoy. I don’t deserve a fairy tale happy ending, even though i keep searching for one.