Everything is Exhausting
Between the wedding next week, school, and everything going on with the stalker I feel like I am mentally fried. I know it isn't my wedding, thank God for that, I am seeing all the stress my sister is going through and more and more I have decided that I will go off and get married on some cruise or beautful island, with no worries at all. Frank already said alright to that. Man I can't believe it is almost a year with him. I never thought I would be having a year anniversary with someone. I am the lady who was destined to grow old with a million cats sitting on a recliner in my small fish smelling condo watching the Price-Is-Right, with my teeth sitting next to me in a glass. Who would have imagined I would find a guy to put up with, or better yet a guy that would put up with me. I feel like I have grown a lot in the past almost year with him, having to overcome differences of opinions and interesting moments, it almost makes me feel a little stronger minded, yet at the same time weaker for the feeling that I always need him around, if that makes any sense..... I really wish he was there at the court hearing yesterday. I was scared to see the guy and the way he stared right over at me and straight out lied about it all. He is fucking crazy. He sits there telling the judge that he has never seen me or talked to me before, but yet when she asks him then "If you don't know her then you don't reject to the restraining order?" he says "yeh I object"... ok if you supposidly don't know my then why would you give a fuck... But whatever, it is somewhat over. I got the order, but now have to have a court date, like an acutal trial I guess to see if the guy can be put away for it since stalking is a crime. Another day in paradise that I wish Frank could be there for and support me through.
After court yesterday I came home completely out of it. I had to take a nap to escape it all and the fact that my dad and Jeff were taking my 16-year- old cat to the vet to be put to sleep. I feel soo guilty since I convinced my mom that it was time since he was in soo much pain. I mean he was, you could see he could barely walk and wasn't living a good life on the porch loosing his fur and all. But still, I have had that cat since I can remember and can't help but think it was my call that put him to sleep. I couldn't bare to look outside yesterday on the counter he normally sits on and not see him there, so I slept for a few hours until Frank called. Thankfully he came over soon after and comforted me. He took my mind off of the bad everything and made me think of the good. I love him soo much for that.
Walking around school I feel like a zombie. I am never there anymore. It feels weird too... like I am walking and going to my classes but yet not really there. The only thing i look foward to is going home and sleeping. Oh , and I am looking foward to having off work this Sunday to go to the beach and work on my tan for the wedding.
About the wedding... I brought my gown home last week. It is totally altered and perfect, and omg I just can't believe the wedding is so close. My sister is getting married! I still have some final party favors left to tie bows on. (My mom and I sat for a few hours the other day making them all since I didn't go to school.) It is all sooo crazy. Everything it absolutely insane right now. My brain is a bunch of mish-mosh, and I can only imagine for my sister it must be 10 times worse, although she doesn't have a stalker to worry about.... Owell, there is always the beach to look foward to and spring break...... and Frank.
After court yesterday I came home completely out of it. I had to take a nap to escape it all and the fact that my dad and Jeff were taking my 16-year- old cat to the vet to be put to sleep. I feel soo guilty since I convinced my mom that it was time since he was in soo much pain. I mean he was, you could see he could barely walk and wasn't living a good life on the porch loosing his fur and all. But still, I have had that cat since I can remember and can't help but think it was my call that put him to sleep. I couldn't bare to look outside yesterday on the counter he normally sits on and not see him there, so I slept for a few hours until Frank called. Thankfully he came over soon after and comforted me. He took my mind off of the bad everything and made me think of the good. I love him soo much for that.
Walking around school I feel like a zombie. I am never there anymore. It feels weird too... like I am walking and going to my classes but yet not really there. The only thing i look foward to is going home and sleeping. Oh , and I am looking foward to having off work this Sunday to go to the beach and work on my tan for the wedding.
About the wedding... I brought my gown home last week. It is totally altered and perfect, and omg I just can't believe the wedding is so close. My sister is getting married! I still have some final party favors left to tie bows on. (My mom and I sat for a few hours the other day making them all since I didn't go to school.) It is all sooo crazy. Everything it absolutely insane right now. My brain is a bunch of mish-mosh, and I can only imagine for my sister it must be 10 times worse, although she doesn't have a stalker to worry about.... Owell, there is always the beach to look foward to and spring break...... and Frank.