Pensive and American History
I have an American History test tomorrow, and am I studying now? Nope. Should I be? Yup. I just can't concentrate on anything really.
So much is on my mind. I have not only school, but the lack of money in my account to get through giving my sister and awesome shower and gift. Besides I am still dying to be a normal teen and buy clothes and make-up and go out. Basically enjoy myself a little. I am letting myself splurge a little too much, but hey I have next year to cover my debts and what-not. Also there is the running bit. I am still trying to lower my size for the wedding and I have to hurry because I must go for my gown fitting SOON. Then there comes my selfishness. I want too much from one person and it isn't fair for him. I have to face I can't see him everyday or have him write me notes or emails or call me all the time because he is just too busy. I need to find fun ways to fill my time so I don't think of him and let bad thoughts creep in my head. At the same time, I need to be around him all the time otherwise I am just not happy. I get depressed. I am just too attatched. Is that possible? It can't be healthy. Grr to me.
So I worked today. Interesting, very interesting. Good times, and bad. Happy, and sad. Difficult and not that harsh. Work..... i hate it , then I love it. Mostly hate it.. =+) I want a new job. Maybe I should be a Mary-Kay lady.. I love make-up... Maybe I am just running on and on and on about nothing. I am just overtired.
So much is on my mind. I have not only school, but the lack of money in my account to get through giving my sister and awesome shower and gift. Besides I am still dying to be a normal teen and buy clothes and make-up and go out. Basically enjoy myself a little. I am letting myself splurge a little too much, but hey I have next year to cover my debts and what-not. Also there is the running bit. I am still trying to lower my size for the wedding and I have to hurry because I must go for my gown fitting SOON. Then there comes my selfishness. I want too much from one person and it isn't fair for him. I have to face I can't see him everyday or have him write me notes or emails or call me all the time because he is just too busy. I need to find fun ways to fill my time so I don't think of him and let bad thoughts creep in my head. At the same time, I need to be around him all the time otherwise I am just not happy. I get depressed. I am just too attatched. Is that possible? It can't be healthy. Grr to me.
So I worked today. Interesting, very interesting. Good times, and bad. Happy, and sad. Difficult and not that harsh. Work..... i hate it , then I love it. Mostly hate it.. =+) I want a new job. Maybe I should be a Mary-Kay lady.. I love make-up... Maybe I am just running on and on and on about nothing. I am just overtired.