i hate life...
soo yeah... life is great right now!! hahaha... that was sarcastic lynnsey right there... i finally got over feeling likei needed to have guy to feel good about myslef.. i finally accepted the fact that i was single... and i was ok with it... and then keith came into the picture... andi thot that finally shits gonna work.. im not gonna fuck this one up like i did with kevin... its gonna be awesome... so much for that... now i am back to feeling lonely and hopeless... and u know the ironic part about it all... they both told me that i had nothing to worry about.. that they weren't gonna go beyond frends.. BULLSHIT!!!... i knew it was too good to be true...
for sum weird reason i really want to talk to kevin right now... i think cuz i know he'll listen and he will understand how im feeling... i would just like to tell him that his comment on on eof my previous journals was very nice.. and if me and keith were still together... it would mean so much more... thanx kev... u've always been a good frend...
im jsut tired of having ppl i care about ripped out of my life.... it sucks hardcore... its happened my whole life... i'd finally make frends and get close to them and then i would move.. or change scools... or move out of state lol... i just can't seemt o keep ppl in my life for very long... and i think thats another reason i want to to talk to kev... i've known him for like , wut, 5 years now... almost that i think... we've been through alot together... i know he is the one personi can count on wen i need sum1 to talk too... well most of the time.. lol.. he's not online right now lol
andi don't want to call his house soo late... maybe i will tlak to him tomorro... i definately need to call him... its been a while... and i really don't want to lose touch with him...
but yeah... mya left me a post.. said that she didn't want to tell keith that she had feelings for him... lol well then she shouldn't have... if she were any type of good frend she would have kept her mouth shut. especially after she told me that i had nothing to worry bout...
but yeah... i was listening to the radio while driving home today and found the perfect song for how i feel right now....
Behind THese Hazel Eyes
seems like just yesterday
you were a part of me
I used to stand so tall
I used to be so strong
your arms around me tight
everything felt so right
unbreakable, like nothing could go wrong
no I can't breathe, I can't sleep
I'm barely hangin' on
Here I am
once again
i'm torn into pieces
can't deny it, can't pretend
just thought you were the one
broken up, deep inside
but you wont get to see the tears I cry
behind these hazel eyes
I told you everything
opened up and let you in
you made me feel alright
for once in my life
now all that's left of me
is what I pretend to be
sewed together but so broken up inside
no I can't breathe, no I can't sleep
I'm barely hangin' on
Here I am
once again
i'm torn into pieces
can't deny it, can't pretend
just thought you were the one
broken up, deep inside
but you wont get to see the tears I cry
behind these hazel eyes
swallow me then spit me out
for hated you I blame myself
seeing you, it kills me now
though I dont cry on the outside anymore
anymore
Here I am
once again
i'm torn into pieces
can't deny it, can't pretend
just thought you were the one
broken up, deep inside
but you wont get to see the tears I cry
behind these hazel eyes
Here I am
once again
i'm torn into pieces
can't deny it, can't pretend
just thought you were the one
broken up, deep inside
but you wont get to see the tears I cry
behind these hazel eyes
the chorus pretty much sums it all up.... sooo here i am .,. laying on my bed with bowl of stale chocolate lucky charms gone to mush... feeling lonely and hopeless... its a great life i have lol..
on the brighter side of things i sold i got my first target card yesterday and i sold three more today!!! holla back!!! lol
school is stressfull.. working two jobs sucks ass... i have no moneY... my bank account says i have -39$ in it lol... and my car is about ready to fall apart... i miss talkin to kevin;.. he always made things better... im barely ever home.. all ido is work and got to school.. i have no1...
i hate feelin like im in a rut... makes me just want to go out and have random sex... but i won't.., cuz that is bad.. i try to lern from my previous mistakes lol.. unlike sum ppl i know... but yeah i gotta get sumsleep... i got scool in the morning... and then work at k's... super fun im out
for sum weird reason i really want to talk to kevin right now... i think cuz i know he'll listen and he will understand how im feeling... i would just like to tell him that his comment on on eof my previous journals was very nice.. and if me and keith were still together... it would mean so much more... thanx kev... u've always been a good frend...
im jsut tired of having ppl i care about ripped out of my life.... it sucks hardcore... its happened my whole life... i'd finally make frends and get close to them and then i would move.. or change scools... or move out of state lol... i just can't seemt o keep ppl in my life for very long... and i think thats another reason i want to to talk to kev... i've known him for like , wut, 5 years now... almost that i think... we've been through alot together... i know he is the one personi can count on wen i need sum1 to talk too... well most of the time.. lol.. he's not online right now lol
andi don't want to call his house soo late... maybe i will tlak to him tomorro... i definately need to call him... its been a while... and i really don't want to lose touch with him...
but yeah... mya left me a post.. said that she didn't want to tell keith that she had feelings for him... lol well then she shouldn't have... if she were any type of good frend she would have kept her mouth shut. especially after she told me that i had nothing to worry bout...
but yeah... i was listening to the radio while driving home today and found the perfect song for how i feel right now....
Behind THese Hazel Eyes
seems like just yesterday
you were a part of me
I used to stand so tall
I used to be so strong
your arms around me tight
everything felt so right
unbreakable, like nothing could go wrong
no I can't breathe, I can't sleep
I'm barely hangin' on
Here I am
once again
i'm torn into pieces
can't deny it, can't pretend
just thought you were the one
broken up, deep inside
but you wont get to see the tears I cry
behind these hazel eyes
I told you everything
opened up and let you in
you made me feel alright
for once in my life
now all that's left of me
is what I pretend to be
sewed together but so broken up inside
no I can't breathe, no I can't sleep
I'm barely hangin' on
Here I am
once again
i'm torn into pieces
can't deny it, can't pretend
just thought you were the one
broken up, deep inside
but you wont get to see the tears I cry
behind these hazel eyes
swallow me then spit me out
for hated you I blame myself
seeing you, it kills me now
though I dont cry on the outside anymore
anymore
Here I am
once again
i'm torn into pieces
can't deny it, can't pretend
just thought you were the one
broken up, deep inside
but you wont get to see the tears I cry
behind these hazel eyes
Here I am
once again
i'm torn into pieces
can't deny it, can't pretend
just thought you were the one
broken up, deep inside
but you wont get to see the tears I cry
behind these hazel eyes
the chorus pretty much sums it all up.... sooo here i am .,. laying on my bed with bowl of stale chocolate lucky charms gone to mush... feeling lonely and hopeless... its a great life i have lol..
on the brighter side of things i sold i got my first target card yesterday and i sold three more today!!! holla back!!! lol
school is stressfull.. working two jobs sucks ass... i have no moneY... my bank account says i have -39$ in it lol... and my car is about ready to fall apart... i miss talkin to kevin;.. he always made things better... im barely ever home.. all ido is work and got to school.. i have no1...
i hate feelin like im in a rut... makes me just want to go out and have random sex... but i won't.., cuz that is bad.. i try to lern from my previous mistakes lol.. unlike sum ppl i know... but yeah i gotta get sumsleep... i got scool in the morning... and then work at k's... super fun im out